Heist

Rex and I stole a canoe today.

It was a pretty sneaky mission...done in the darkest of night...one that took a lot of forethought and planning for a seamless execution...

Oh wait, no it wasn't.

We really did steal a canoe, but it was more on a random whim. Rex and I had pulled our deck chairs up to the edge of the lake, and he was fishing for carp while I was playing with the kitten. He has fished off the side of the lake ever since we moved in, and he has been dying to get a boat so that he could fish the middle of it. We haven't had any luck, though. There are lots of boats around at our apartment, so we have been asking our friends if any of them own any of the boats. So far we haven't had any luck. Today, though, our neighbor Karl came out to say hi while we were by the lake. We talked for a while, and then he said, "Hey, I remember you guys mentioned wanting a boat. We don't have one, but the green one on the side of the building just sits there all the time. I have never seen anyone use it in the two years that we have lived here, so I'm thinking maybe someone moved out and left it." His girlfriend contradicted him (by talking out their window at us as she took a genetics test online), saying that she had seen someone using it a couple of times. We knew that another person in the complex owns a similar canoe, though, so she could have possibly been confusing them. Karl went back inside, and we were left with a dilemma. Who was right about the canoe? Was it owned or abandoned?

We went to the side of the building to check out the canoe. It was nice; Spartan green in color. We flipped it over, and it looked as if whoever owned it had not taken it out in a very long time. We went to get the oars, and we actually had to dig one of them out of the dirt. That should show you how long it had been since they were used. The oars were the jankiest I had ever seen - completely covered in duct tape and still falling apart. They weren't even canoe oars, but rowboat ones. Whoever owned this canoe was clearly not very invested in their hobby.

On the inside of the canoe was a name: "Brook." There was a number next to the name, so we knew that someone with the name "Brook" (first or last name remains unknown) wanted the canoe identified with them. Rex called the number, but the line had been disconnected. VERY fishy...

Obviously, we decided to go for it. "Brook" hadn't answered, so we figured maybe he/she wouldn't care if we borrowed their boat for a while. We dragged it down to the lake, and we were off!!!

It was a beautiful day for canoeing. The water was so calm that the sky was reflected perfectly in it. It appeared as if we were canoeing through clouds. I told Rex that "Canoeing Through Clouds" sounds like a song that someone would write when they were high. I then proceeded to spend the rest of the canoe trip using my oar as a fake guitar while I composed the song "Canoeing Through Clouds." The water was so calm that Rex didn't really need my help in steering the boat anyway. We passed some egrets and saw fish swimming around in the water. A flock of about fifty Canadian Geese flew over our heads, and they looked like shadows against the pink sunset sky. I thought for sure we were going to get pooped on, but today was one of those perfect days where bad things don't happen.

Sure enough, as is true of days when bad things don't happen, we didn't get caught. We returned the canoe to the side of the building, and congratulated ourselves on a successful heist. We just might have to try that again sometime.