Wake Me Up When September Ends

September is sort of a blur for teachers. It's tricky trying to learn the names of everyone in all four of the middle school homerooms, learn about how they learn best, and cater lessons to each one of them. I get home at 5 and have to be in bed between 9 and 10 so that I can get up at 5:45 to do the whole thing over again. I feel like I'm always tired and, even worse, I have been NEGLECTING THIS BLOG! So sorry about that. Hopefully things will settle down a bit after the first few weeks. I have so many teacher stories, but since I haven't been blogging them I have forgotten a bunch of them! BLAST! I'll try to remember as many as I can, though...names are changed...here we go:

1. A third grader came in with a birthday treat (kids always give birthday treats to all of the teachers). I accepted my cupcake with thanks, and she exclaimed, "Ewwww - what's THAT!?" *pointing at the rats* I told her that the animals in the cage are rats, and she said, "That's DISGUSTING!" An outcry arose from my class. They LOVE the rats. One student even yelled, "HEY - those rats are our FAMILY! We LOVE them!" I love the rodent loyalty.

2. Sarah said, "Hey, Mrs. Webb, don't you think I'd look SO CUTE as a pregnant girl?" No, Sarah. I don't. You're thirteen. Try me again in twenty years.

3. Deven asked me, "Mrs. Webb, do we have Labor Day off to celebrate all of the new babies?" I was confused. He explained, "Well, Labor Day...isn't that the day when all of the pregnant women go into labor? And so we have the day off to celebrate all of the new babies?" Not quite...

4. Justin Bieber got into a car accident last week, and I thought the world was going to stop spinning. My eighth graders were talking about it, and one of the girls said, "DON'T PANIC. I heard on the news - his face is FINE." I'm so glad they are concerned with his overall well-being.

5. One of my students is going to be in a wedding next weekend. He proudly came up to me and said, "Mrs. Webb, I'm in a WEDDING! I'm the groomer!" I'm pretty sure he meant "groomsman," but "groomer" made me picture a wedding full of dogs that needs an on-hand groomer, and that made me laugh.

6. I 99% love my job. The other 1% comes on moments like today, when one of my kids said, "Ahhhh! A SCORPION! *stomp* I went over to investigate, and sure enough - there was a squashed scorpion on my floor. EWWWWWWW! That never happened in Michigan. Freaky!

7. We are studying fantasy stories in sixth grade. Today we had a debate on whether or not dragons are real. I said, "I hate to bust up everyone's fun, but I have to tell you the truth: dragons are not real." *general chaos* One of my students piped up, "Sort of like Santa?" to which I replied, "No WAY! Santa is SO real! Only dragons are fake." Ha ha!

8. In seventh grade we're studying historical fiction, and we're reading Fever, 1793. It's about an outbreak of yellow fever in Philidelphia. I asked the students to brainstorm what they would do if they were alive during this time, and one of them said, "I would go find a rainforest." Why? "I'm pretty sure cures grow in the rainforest. There's always those witch doctors getting them from there." Please, someone point me towards a "cure tree." I would be RICH.

9. A teacher told Rob to stop sitting alone on the muddy rocks at recess. He looked completely offended and exclaimed, "but can't you SEE?! I'm becoming one with the EARTH!" I live near the west coast...there are a lot of hippies out here, and I guess they start pretty young.

10. Matt came in and said, "Happy Birthday, Mrs. Webb!" He gave me this BIZARRE looking tropical plant as a birthday gift. It was really nice of him, and I didn't really have the heart to tell him that my birthday isn't until February. So a bunch of students told me happy birthday. They're going to be super confused when February 2 rolls around.

11. Levi came up and said, "Mrs. Webb, what would you do with $50?" I said I didn't know, why? He said, "I won my boy scouts fundraiser, and I got a $100 cash prize! I wanted to spend half of it on you because you're so awesome." I told him that he should spend the money on himself because he earned it, and he said, "Fine. I will buy a couple of legos. But, then - don't you worry - I will get you something COOL." Who knows whether or not he actually will, but it was a cute gesture.

12. We're studying the holocaust because of some literature that we're reading in 8th grade, and one of my girls said, "I think the holocaust was cool. I kind of have a crush on Adolf Hitler." Not knowing what to do with that, I just said, "Well, he's dead. So that crush isn't going to work out for you." What a CREEPER.

13. A student came up to me looking very upset and worried. He said, "I just thought you should know...John and Bill are talking about...you know...that S-E-X word." I think he expected me to faint out of shock.

14. At lunch, someone left their sandwich on the table. I said, "How can someone leave their sandwich?! That's the main part!" Emma whispered in a scandalized tone, "Lots of people just skip the main part of their lunch and eat the goodies. It's so WRONG!" Ha ha...unhealthy? Yes. "WRONG"? Debateable.

15. I told my students that my library is sort of lacking, and that if anyone had old books at their house I would really appreciate donations to share with the class. I said that on Monday, and today is Thursday. In that time, I've had about 150 books donated! My library is STUFFED. The donations included 2 hardcover sets of the Harry Potter books, a hardcover set of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books, and a bunch of other middle school favorites! I was so thankful that I almost started crying in class when I told them how grateful I was, and that just inspired them to bring MORE books. I swear, I have the BEST kids.