Student Stories

When was the last time I posted student stories?  It's been forever!  It's not because my students are less funny than in past years...  On the contrary, I laugh about a million times a day.  I'm not sure why I strayed from that habit, but I will try to get back into it.  Here is the latest batch:

1. My students and I were talking about "text to text" connections (where you connect one story to something it reminded you of in a different story).  One girl said that when she read "Cinderella," Prince Charming reminded her of the Prince Charming from the story "Snow White."  One of the boys piped up and said, "Why does this Prince Charming guy marry all of the princesses?  The books should say, 'And they lived happily ever after...until the princess realized that Prince Charming is also married to five other princesses."  Ha ha!  How did I never think of that when I was growing up?  Why are all of the princes named "Prince Charming"?  What if it's really the same guy?  That would certainly change the fairy tales that I know and love...

2. I run an extra-curricular publications committee that publishes a fifth grade paper once a month.  We have one boy in the committee, so he is our sports reporter.  At our last meeting, I suggested that maybe he should cover March Madness because that is such an important sports event in March.  Most of the girls didn't know what that was.  I explained, "It's a big basketball competition where all of the best college teams compete to see who wins the championship."  One girl, still clearly confused, said, "What do they do?  Like...an obstacle course or something?"
Nope, they pretty much just play basketball...sorry to disappoint.

3. My little sister came into town for my birthday.  (WOOOT!) I had her come help out in my classroom, and the kids loved her.  All of the girls were fawning over how beautiful she is (because she is), and then one of the boys chimed in with, "Yeah...Mrs. Webb, you don't look like your sister at all."  THANKS, Jerkface. Someone doesn't want an A this quarter.

4. I have a few boys in my class who like to bring their toys to school.  It drives me a bit nuts.  The other day I noticed that one of my boys had pulled out some legos, so I stopped my lesson and said, "Kyle, if you don't put those legos away right now, I am going to eat them!"  Ummmm...where did THAT come from?!  As soon as it was out of my mouth, I thought, "What the HECK was that?!?!"  The whole class looked very startled and a little bit scared, and Kyle put away his legos.  HA HA!  It is a good thing that I'm teaching fifth grade and not middle school, though, because a middle school boy would have said, "Go ahead.  Eat them," just to see what I would do.  Thankfully, I didn't have to live up to that threat.  Phewf!

5.  Many of my students have read The Elsie Files.  For those of you who haven't, it's a story narrated by my cat Elsie. She is fat, lies around all day and thinks no one is as smart as she is.  One of my students came up to me yesterday and said, "You know what?  I've been thinking about Elsie, and I think we should set her up on a date with Garfield."  Ha ha ha!  I never considered that, but he's really right.  I wonder if Garfield's creator also based his stories on a real fat, lazy cat?

6. After school I tutor students three days a week.  The students I tutor are in grades K-3.  Yesterday I was helping a third grade girl with her reading comprehension questions.  She likes to get her answers done as quickly as possible, so she forgets grammar and punctuation details sometimes.  I reminded her to put a capital letter at the beginning of her sentence, and she acquiesced.  Then I said, "And remember...what do you need at the end of the sentence?"  She threw up her hands in frustration, gave a huge sigh, and exclaimed, "I HATE putting periods at the end of my sentences!  It's just too much work!"  I couldn't help it - I started laughing.  I'm hard pressed to think of anything in life that is easier that writing a period at the end of a sentence.  I told this to the girl, and she finally started laughing too (and she also put that darn punctuation in her answers).  Little girls can be such drama queens.