Hello me-as-a-30-year-old,
It feels a little ridiculous to be writing this letter. Don't you think we're getting a little old for this? I do. But since I've written letters to myself at 15, 20, and 25, it seems a little weird to stop the tradition now. I don't want to get to 30 and think "BLAST! WHERE'S MY LETTER!?" so I guess I should go ahead and write this.
Hmmm...well, you're 30. I guess I should console you. Are you having a midlife crisis? Probably. You're probably freaking out that you haven't won a Newberry Honor yet or hit the bestsellers list. You're not J.K. Rowling, okay? You're fine. And actually, I think she was over 30 when she wrote Harry Potter anyway, so you're really, really fine. Do you realize that you might never hit the bestsellers list ever, and that would be okay too? Because it would. I just think it's cool that you're thirty. You're old enough to be wise and experienced but young enough to be hip and cool. So fab.
Let's see... You probably want to know what I'm up to. Well, I'm surviving the polar vortex of 2014. You know, the one where you had SEVEN snow days!? Actually, possibly eight - they're talking about closing tomorrow because of a -20 wind chill. And February just started. Sheesh. I'm living in the cute green house on Pembrook Street with Rex and Elvis and Elsie. Cara's trying to figure out where to go to college. I'm trying to sell my book about the librarian assassins, and Scholastic has requested the manuscript (which, really, is actually a pretty cool thing even if they hate it. At least they're reading it.) I'm writing a third book, and I'm 44 pages in even though I only started it a couple of weeks ago (thank you snow days). Writing basically keeps me sane. I'm teaching junior high at Providence (actually, I wouldn't be disappointed at all if you're still teaching there as you read this). It's a pretty fabulous school.
So. What are YOU doing? You have a pug, right? Because you and Rex agreed you could have one before you guys turn thirty. If you don't have a pug, go get one RIGHT NOW. Like, stop reading this and go get a pug. Have you been out of the country lately? I think going out of the country once every five years would be cool. Are you really going to go to Italy for your 10 year anniversary? Because that's been the plan since you got married, and as of now it's still the plan, so I think that would be super cool if you actually do that. Did you sell any books yet? Did Scholastic buy anything? Because if you sold a book to Scholastic, then just go ahead and label your life "SUCCESS" and then you can chill for the rest of it. Ha ha. Just kidding, obviously. But that would be way cool. Do you have any kids? Hmmm... if you have a kid then I hope it's a girl. What are you going to do with a boy? He'll have a wardrobe of entirely camouflage and know how to hit a baseball before he can walk. Rex will make you sing country music lullabies. Ewww. Definitely go with a girl.
Are you fat? Just wondering. It seems like a lot of people get fat in their late twenties. I hope you're not fat. Go to the gym if you are. Right now. And on your way home, pick up that pug that you're getting. If you're fat, though, then at least I hope that means you learned how to cook a lot of delicious food. Do you still make that tomato spinach cream tortellini? Because that's my personal favorite recipe right now.
Have you read the whole Bible through from start to finish yet? I only ask because 20-year-old you wanted to know, so 25-year-old you is passing along the message. You're probably reading the Bible on some fancy gadget, like the iBible or something. Is Barnes and Noble still in business? Because I'm actually kind of afraid that books are going to become extinct like dinosaurs and VCRs. That would be a major bummer.
Who's the president? It's not Obama, so that's cool. Did Kim Jong dictator dude ever bomb anyone from North Korea? He seems like kind of a loose cannon (no pun intended). Have you met Meg Cabot? I'm so excited to meet her, even though I'm not sure when I'm going to do that yet. She's like the Kim Kardashian of my genre, except talented. Ooooh....speaking of which, what's Kim Kardahian doing? Actually, never mind. I don't want to know.
I know this letter isn't very serious, but I think that's okay. Your life's not very serious right now. You're chilling out and enjoying your mid-twenties, because if the late twenties go nearly as fast as the early twenties then you've got a lot of fun to pack in during a very short amount of time. You don't have time to take life too seriously.
Hasta la Vista,
25-year-old-you
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