The Crock Pot Catastrophe

Dear Hamilton Beach,

I received one of your crock pots for my wedding four years ago.  My husband and I had registered for your fantastic programmable, multi-setting, futuristic fobuloso model with the built in handle, and one of our friends or relatives was kind enough to buy it for us.  Since then, I've used it a lot.  Until today, it's been great.  It's been the best crock pot ever.  It's been a "pass-this-down-to-your-grandchildren-as-long-as-something-cooler-hasn't-been-invented-yet" crock pot.  I had visions of myself teaching the younger generations my recipes for chicken tortilla soup or buffalo chicken and saying, "This is the same crock pot I used when I first botched these recipes fifty years ago."

Alas, Hamilton Beach.  It wasn't to be.

Today, I was cooking a dinner for my in-laws.  Do you have in-laws, Hamilton Beach worker?  Because if you do, you understand the importance of making a good dinner when they come over.  I put the meal in the crock pot when I left for work in the morning, and when I got home from work I walked over to it to check on the food.  I put my hand on the lid to lift it, and....

BOOOOOM!
CRASH!
SHATTER!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHEEEEEEEE!!

(that last sound effect was me, not the crock pot)

The lid of the crock pot exploded into a thousand shards of glittering glass that rained down on me, my kitchen, and my carefully prepared meal.  I'm having some post-traumatic stress just thinking about it.  The lid literally exploded.  If I hadn't recoiled in mortal terror, I could have gotten a shard of glass in my EYE.  Then I'd be sitting in a hospital bed calling a lawyer instead of writing this letter, and also shopping on Amazon for fashionable eye patches.  Also possibly looking at a career switch into piracy, but that's neither here nor there.

THE POINT IS - there are only two logical explanations for why my crock pot exploded today:

1. There was some sort of manufacturing defect
2. Someone is trying to kill me

Now, you and I don't know each other very well, Hamilton Beach worker, but I'm a very likable person.  I don't have many enemies.  There was this one time in elementary school where I won "queen of the playground" and the girl I beat out wasn't too happy about it, but that was fifteen years ago so I'm pretty sure she's over it.  We're actually friends now.  I didn't flunk any students this semester, so none of them are seeking revenge.  Oh, did I mention I'm a teacher?  A TEACHER.  Who hates teachers?  No one.  Who wants to kill teachers for their vast amounts of money?  DEFINITELY NO ONE.  So see?  It wasn't an attempt on my life.  Therefore, it was definitely a manufacturing defect.  I'm not sure exactly what.....but something is wrong.  Maybe one of your workers stuffed a time-bomb in one of your products and set it for four years out.  Who knows?  Basically, I'm an unhappy customer.  You should know that selling products that explode is bad business (unless of course you're selling grenades or bombs, which you are not).  I would like a refund or a new slow cooker, but definitely not the same one I just had.  I wouldn't be able to use it without running screaming from the kitchen every time it's time to check the food.  *shudder*

Anyway, let me know what you can do.  In the mean time, I'll be eating fast food and contemplating whether or not I can sue for getting fat since I couldn't eat my home-cooked meal.

Sincerely,
Christine