It's nice, that is, as long as you actually did the thing they're thanking you for. Otherwise it's just weird.
For the last three weddings I've attended, I've gotten thank you cards for gifts I didn't give. The first time it was weird, the second time it was a very strange coincidence, and now it's hit the "what on earth is going on??" level. The card always thanks me for my actual gift, but then there's an "and" that I didn't anticipate:
Wedding 1: "Thank you for the beautiful picture frame and the popcorn." What? I didn't give them any popcorn! I did pick out a beautiful picture frame, but who would randomly put popcorn in a wedding gift? That's just weird. I wonder what they thought when the opened it. Maybe "Those Webbs and their weird sense of humor that no one really gets except them..." Nope, sorry. Even I don't think popcorn is funny. Unless you're throwing at someone. Then it's a little funny.
Wedding 2: "Thank you for the chopper and for the towels." Ummm... I did buy the chopper, but I did not buy any towels. Again, what a weird combination. Gifts should make sense together. I tried to brainstorm a connection between the two, but the connections were thin at best: You get covered in vegetable guts from chopping and then you need to go take a shower? Or you're going to take a snack with you into the bath? You get a work out from chopping so many vegetables that you have to wash off the sweat? I don't get it.
Wedding 3: "Thank you for the champagne glasses and the picture frame." At least these two kind of go together. It makes sense that people might drink champagne and reminisce about fun memories. What doesn't make sense is why this bride thanked me for a picture frame that I didn't buy. I did buy the champagne glasses - they are crystal and really pretty. No picture frame, though.
What is happening?? Do I have an alternate personality that buys random gifts and then blocks them out from my memory? Is that a psychological condition? Can I take meds for that? Is Rex so offended by my gifts that he has to "fix" them before we leave the wedding? (That's definitely not it, by the way. He never even asks what we're giving people). Are all brides in a grand conspiracy to freak me out with their thank-you cards?
Obviously there is a wedding gift fairy messing with my presents. She probably wanted to be a Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus level magical creature, but she was the intern who never really graduated from picking up Starbucks and answering customer service calls. Finally, fed up with the fact that she wasn't moving up in the magical corporate world, she set out on her own and decided to start her own gig - adding to wedding gifts. Unfortunately no one required her services, so she's started forcing them on people. I can see why she never made it in the biz - adding popcorn is pretty lame. Now she's just messing up my presents and making my friends think I'm a weirdo for pairing towels with a chopper. If she's going to do that, she could at least drop off some Starbucks for me on her way. Actually, she should just be a full-time Starbucks fairy - now THAT'S a good idea. That might even be better than Santa.
Great, now I've probably offended her. My next friend who gets married is going to get a dead toad in her gift or something. Single friends. beware - neither of us knows what I'm getting you for your wedding.
No comments:
Post a Comment