When planning the weekend, Rex and I wanted different things. He wanted to stay at a hotel, and I wanted to stay at a bed and breakfast. He likes hotels because they're predictable and normal and all pretty much the same (unless you're in Las Vegas, of course, in which case they're crazy), and I like bed and breakfasts because they're all different and unique and more adventury than a hotel because you're never quite sure what you're going to get. Rex offered a compromise: how about we stay at a hotel the first night and a bed and breakfast the second? Great idea! See how much we've figured out marriage in the past five years? It's about compromise, people.
Here's another reason why bed and breakfasts are better - watch how much more interesting the blog write-up is for that one!
HOTEL WRITE-UP:
We went to a hotel. It was fun. There was an old queen bed with a thin-ish comforter, two nightstands, cable TV, and a small bathroom. Continental breakfast - I had a waffle. Woot.
BED AND BREAKFAST WRITE-UP:
The handwritten paper sign on the door said, "Knock and come in," so we did. The old house smelled of tea and yellowed books. The fireplace in front of us was not lit, and the grand piano next to it looked ready to play. Above us, an indoor balcony was connected to the upstairs level. The balcony was lined with bookshelves and an old easy chair. I tentatively called out "Hello?" and then the fun really began. Daphne, the innkeeper, screeched "Hellooooooooo" from a back room before sweeping in to greet us. "Hellooo," she cooed in her drawling, melodious voice. "Hooow wonderful for yoou to share your anniversary with us. Isn't finding your soul mate just the beeest thing eveeer?!" Her white hair was sticking out in all directions, and she looked past us into space as if she was deep in her own memories about soul mates. Her black liquid eyeliner was ringed around her eyes, but not actually lining them - just sort of haphazardly put on in the general vicinity of her eyeballs. Her lipstick was orange, and it was only in the general vicinity of her mouth. It reminded me of when I let Rex's six year old cousin give me a makeover. "Come, come!" she said, clasping her hands and snapping out of her reverie. "Let's go to the sunrooom!" She swept past us and into a back porch that overlooked her gardens. We followed behind her. I made the mistake of making eye contact with Rex once, and we both dissolved into muted laughter. WHAT had we gotten ourselves into?? I resolved not to look at Rex again until we were alone. Daphne seemed really nice. It wasn't her fault that she was a bit nutty.
Daphne was so excited to celebrate our anniversary with us that she upgraded us to the honeymoon suite, the Rose Room, at no charge. Hooray for Daphne! Remind me to delete that disparaging comment about your eyeliner! She gave us some drinks and homemade cookies in the sunroom while she offered us some recommendations about sights and restaurants to try out around Marquette. (This is another reason why bed and breakfasts are better. Do you get welcome drinks and homemade cookies at hotels? I don't think so!). After chatting with her for a bit about the area, she gave us a tour of the house and showed us to our room. I think she reminded us at least three times, "Now, don't forget, it's the honeymoon suite!" She said it with a conspiratorial glint in her eye, and I wondered if she was going to pull a Betty White and offer us the babymaker blanket from The Proposal. As soon as she left us alone in our room, Rex and I both burst out laughing. We tried to be quiet, though, because she was obviously still in the house.
"I don't know what she's expecting," Rex whispered, still laughing, "but I absolutely cannot 'honeymoon' in here with those creepy people watching me." I looked where he was pointing, and there was an ancient painting of arguably the creepiest people I've ever seen. I wish I would have taken a close-up picture to show you, but it was too creepy. I didn't want to get close to it. Rex also mentioned that there was a 95% chance that those people were haunting our room. He was probably right.
Our room was called the "Rose Room," and...well...she was serious about that. There was rose wallpaper, a rose comforter on the bed, roses on the night table, rose patterned carpeting (no, I'm not joking), roses on the pillows, roses on the towels, roses in the artwork. The toilet, sink, and shower were all bright pink. Like, Barbie dream house pink, and I'm pretty sure that's only because Daphne couldn't find rose patterned porcelain. There was a TV and VCR with a stack of VHS tapes (TAPES, PEOPLE! LIKE THE NINETIES!), and out on our balcony there was an easy chair with (what else?) a rose throw over the back of it. It really was a beautiful room, but the whole thing felt very 1800's secret-garden chic. The bed was huge. I don't know what size is bigger than a king bed, but this was it (Side note: I don't get why big beds are supposed to be the romantic ones - I tried to snuggle up to Rex in the night and had to battle through a labyrinth of rose patterned sheets to try to find him. With so much space, you're basically sleeping alone. I think honeymoon suites should all have twin beds, because then you're forced to be touching basically the whole night. You can't get lost in the sheet garden.) Anyway, the bed was so comfortable. It also had a big down comforter, so I felt like I was sleeping on a giant, fluffy, rose-colored cloud.
In the morning, Daphne made us a fantastic three-course breakfast served on fine china by candlelight in her dining room (Ha, Econolodge! I laugh in the face of your paltry continental breakfast!). She freshly squeezed orange juice from oranges she got off of her property in Arizona. She made applesauce from the apple trees in her garden. She served stuffed french toast and blueberry buckle for dessert (It was like a coffee cake - so delicious). The only other tennant at the bed and breakfast that morning was an unfortunate man named Bud. I call him "unfortunate" because he seemed quite bowled over by Daphne's ephemeral demeanor, especially when she said, "These two are in love! I must play them my wedding song!" So while we ate our breakfast, Daphne floated over to the grand piano and played a song about weddings and how God would see us through our cloudy days to bright skies, and how He would keep us faithful to each other. "Are you married?" I asked Bud, trying to make things less awkward. "I'm divorced," he answered curtly. Oops, looks like I made them more awkward. My bad. We ate our french toast in silence.
Well, not silence, obviously. Daphne was still crooning about true love and undying devotion.
So it was kind of an awkward breakfast, but the food was really delicious so that made up for it. Good food can make everything great. Also, I was still in a rosy mood from all of the roses. I don't think I'll be able to look at roses without having flashbacks ever again.
It turned out to be a really fun/funny experience - one Rex and I certainly won't forget anytime soon. See why bed and breakfasts are so fun?? This would have been a very boring post if we stayed in a hotel all weekend.
Stay tuned for a post about our new puppy soon!
Oh my goodness! That sounds like a great weekend! I wish you could have recorded her singing the song lol
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