Lunch Date With a First Grader

I think everyone should have a lunch date with a first grader once in a while. It keeps life in perspective.

My cousin's two children go to my school (they're in first grade and kindergarten). The first grader, Lorelei, forgot her lunch yesterday. Apparently she went up to her teacher and said, "I forgot my lunch. I think I should tell Mrs. Webb about this." That made me laugh - those kids know I've got their backs no matter what (and I always will!). Lorelei came in and asked me what to do about her missing lunch. I said that I had plenty; she should take a seat and I would share mine.

She practically jumped into my spare a roller chair (do you remember how exciting roller chairs were when you were a kid!?) and pulled it up to my front table. I grabbed some paper plates and sat across from her, splitting my lunch into halves for us to share. I left the dessert in my bag because I didn't want her to eat it first. Before we even started eating, Lorlelei started talking. "I like that dog," she said, pointing to a toy pug on top of my shelf. "What is it?"

"That's called a pug," I answered. "It's the kind of dog I want."

"Oh." She flipped her hair to turn back to her food. I noticed she had yellow paint in it. Must have been a fun day in first grade.

"Are you going to get one of those dogs?" she asked. She started munching on the chips and rice/bean dip that was on her plate.

"Someday," I answered wistfully.

"Well," she stated, "Don't go to Target to get one. They don't have them there. I've been to Target before. They don't sell dogs." Oh, okay. I mean, I probably wasn't going to try to get one at Target anyway...but good to know. Thanks, kid. Before I could say anything else, she continued. "I think you should get a blind cat."

I almost choked on my chip. I composed myself a second before answering, because first graders appreciate being taken seriously. "A blind cat?" I finally asked. Maybe I misunderstood.

"Yep, a blind cat." She popped a strawberry in her mouth.

"Why a blind cat?"

She looked at me as if I was missing the most obvious answer in the world. "Because," she explained, "cats are lots of fun, and if the cat is blind then it can never scratch you because it won't know where you are."

OBVIOUSLY. Not sure how I didn't think of that before. My bad.

Lorelei continued. "But when you get a blind cat, make sure you don't get a kitten. Kittens are baby cats, and you don't want to deal with that because then you'd have to change diapers."

I had to take another second to compose myself before answering. Poker face, Christine. Get it together. Don'tlaughdon'tlaughdon'tlaugh. "Uhh...actually," I said, "I'm pretty sure that most kittens don't wear diapers. They get trained to use litter boxes."

"Nuh-UH." Lorelei crunched a chip and sat up straight, looking indignant. "I know they wear diapers. My Uncle Joe said."

Well, heaven forbid that I would contradict UNCLE JOE. I shrugged and decided to keep eating my meal. She can put diapers on her kitten one day. I don't care.

Lorelei took another bite of the beans and rice. "Daddy would love this," she said. "He likes spicy things." Her dad is currently deployed in Kuwait. Before I even had a chance to say, "That's cool," she looked up as she suddenly remembered something else she wanted to say. "Daddy sent Mommy flowers! And also chocolate covered strawberries!" I saw the bouquet last time I was at my cousin's house. The flowers are beautiful.

"That's great!" I said. "He loves her very much."

"Yeah," said Lorelei. "I don't even know where he found flowers and strawberries because he's in a desert, but oh well. He must have looked and looked and found them somewhere."

I didn't bother to correct her. Honestly, I sort of loved the romantic notion she had of her dad wandering all around the desert to try to find strawberries and flowers for her mom and then sending them across the entire world before they went bad. I just nodded seriously and said, "Well, he found them somehow." Which is true. Maybe the "somehow" was online, but who needs to know?
"Is there any strawberry milk?" Lorelei suddenly asked.

"Strawberry milk?" I was confused. "Do we have that at this school?"

"Yes," Lorelei said. "I drink it all the time. It's good. I think it's in my classroom."

"Umm...just a minute," I said. "I'll go check." I walked into the first grade classroom and said to the teacher, "This is going to sound really weird...but do we have strawberry milk here?"

"Yeah..." she said, looking at me as if I was an idiot. Apparently everyone knows that:
1. Strawberry milk is a real thing, and
2. We serve it at my school

I'd never seen it in my life. It's not popular in junior high. "I think it's in the fourth grade room," the first grade teacher said. I went into the fourth grade room on my quest for this mysterious product, and there it was: a crate of small pink cartons. I grabbed two: one for me and one for Lorelei. I decided I might as well try it.

I headed back to my room. "Is this even good?" I asked Lorelei. "I've never had it before. I don't want to drink it if it's disgusting..."

"It's good!" she assured me. "I love it!" She opened her carton and started drinking. I opened mine and stared skeptically at the pepto-bismol colored liquid. "Are you sure?" I asked one more time. Lorelei giggled at my wrinkled nose.

"YES!! Just drink it!"

I did. It tasted...strange. It was basically like sugar and artificial flavoring, but creamy. As I was trying to decide if I wanted to drink any more of this weird milk, Lorelei put her milk down, went limp as if she had no bones, and slid slowly out of her chair onto the floor.

"Umm..." I looked over my table, confused. "What are you doing?"

"I wanted to be on the floor!" she said. "Now I'm under the table!" Yes, yes she was. I should really stop asking such ridiculous questions.

"Okay," I said. "That's cool. But hey, if you're ever on a date when you grow up, maybe don't do that." She giggled again, then popped out from under the table to eat more chips.

We ate for a few more minutes when the bell rang for recess. Loelei's eyes got wide, she stuffed one more strawberry in her mouth, and she headed out the door without saying goodbye (there was strawberry in her mouth, after all). I called after her to wait a minute, and she peeked her head back into my room. I pulled out my chocolate candy dessert. "Don't you want dessert?" I asked. She ran back into my room at top speed and literally jumped back into her chair, like if she took too long I would eat all the candy myself.

We shared the candy. As soon as she finished she ran out the door, for real this time, and out to recess. I sighed, finished up the water in my water bottle, and hoped that maybe Lorelei would forget her lunch again soon.