Mama Bear

Rex and I just got back from watching his brother Jake (and the rest of the K-Christian football team) play Maple Valley. It was a fun game, and the team won 21-10. YAY Comets! What was interesting, though, is what I learned about myself at the game tonight: I am WAY too overprotective.

As a little back story, I have no brothers. I have one sister and I love her to death, but I have never had a little brother. When I married Rex, I sort of felt like I inherited brothers because he has two of them. Today at school when students asked if I was going to their homecoming game that night, I said, "No, I can't. I'm going to my little brother's game." I justified that to myself by saying that sixth graders wouldn't know what "brother-in-law" means and I didn't want to go through the trouble to explain it, but I think secretly I just liked saying that I have a little brother. Plus, they feel like my brothers anyway, so I think it counts.

Another piece of information you should know: Jacob (the football player and youngest brother) just started dating a new girlfriend named Stephanie. What I heard about her from Jake before they were dating was a bit sketch, but then she apparently "turned cool" and now they are dating. The only solid impression I have of her is from what Jake told me back when she was in the "non-cool" stage, so I think it makes sense that I am a bit skeptical.

On our way to the game we picked up another K-Christian grad, Lindsey, because her boyfriend helps out the JV team and she wanted to go see him. We don't know her very well, and I was looking forward to riding with her and getting to know her better. Well, after this trip, she probably thinks I am insane and will never ride with us again because I grilled her about this girl. I hadn't planned on it!! But while we were riding along I commented, "I wonder if Jake's girlfriend will be there?" Rex said that he didn't know, and Lindsey asked who his girlfriend is. I told her, and the following conversation ensued (this is bits and pieces paraphrased - I don't have THAT great of a memory!)

L: Oh! Stephanie's great.
C: Really? Awesome! I'm so glad to hear that.
L: Yeah. She is. Well, I mean, as long as she likes you. She liked me because we played softball together.
C: What if she doesn't like you?
L: Then she's pretty much really mean. Just stay on her good side.
C: How does someone do that?
L: I don't really know. She likes Jake, though, so she would probably like you.
C: I don't care if she likes ME. I'm just wondering if she's going to be nice to Jacob. Do you think she'd be a good girlfriend?
L: Ummm... (scary pause here) I guess we'll find out.
C: Oh, super. You sound so convinced. What are all the awesome things about her? I'm trying to like her here. Don't tell me any more bad things.
L: Ummm...(another scary pause here) She's good at sports!
C: Well, that makes sense on why Jake likes her then! What else?
L: Ummm...I don't really know. I'm sure there's stuff.

Great. I am SO reassured. So then I was already more skeptical, which is not good, and we arrived at the game. I scanned the bleachers looking for Stephanie, and I found her. I immediately noted the following things (my thoughts following those observations are in parentheses):

1. She was wearing his jersey (YAY! She is supportive)
2. She drove all the way to Maple Valley, which is about an hour away from home, to watch his game (YAY! She is dedicated!)
3. She was actually watching the game, which is more than can be said for a lot of high school girls (YAY! She cares about his sport!)

I happily relayed these observations to Rex, and he gave me a weird look that said, "Christine. Stop awkwardly stalking and analyzing Jake's girlfriend." So I tried to concentrate on the game.

The problem was, I couldn't fully concentrate on the game because EVERY time something happened that had anything to do with Jake I would have to glance at Stephanie. Here are some examples:

1. Jake made a nice play! (WHAT IS STEPHANIE DOING??? Okay. She looks proud. Good, that is acceptable.)
2. Jake got hit and now he is limping. (DOES STEPHANIE LOOK ADEQUATELY CONCERNED??? Well, she is wincing. I think that looks concerned. Okay. She passes that one.)
3. It started raining. (STEPHANIE PUT HER HOOD UP! Well, obviously that means...I mean...okay I really need to stop judging her because that one doesn't even make any sense. She probably just wants to stay dry.)

Seriously. It is a problem. His relationship is NONE of my business. Why do I care about it so much? When Rex and I went at half time to get concessions for his family, I saw Stephanie eating some snacks and called out "Hey Stephanie!" She came over.

S: Hi!
C: Hi! I hear you and Jake are "official" now. (DOES STEPHANIE LOOK ADEQUATELY HAPPY ABOUT THAT??? Oh, she's smiling. So I guess yes.)
S: Yeah, we are.
C: That's cool. Congratulations!
S: Yeah, thanks!
(semi-awkward silence in which her sister comes up to tell her that they are going back to the stands)
C: Well, just take care of him, okay?
S: Okay.
C: No but seriously, he is one of the most amazing guys in the world.
S: (somewhat laughing at my ridiculousness) Okay.

And then she walked away. I turned to Rex and said with a panicked look on my face, "I don't think she believes me! He really is! And what if she doesn't treat him that way?!" Rex told me that I was being ridiculous, and that Jake is 16 and can do whatever he wants. He'll be fine. Um, I KNOW that. I just can't seem to ACCEPT it.

I tried SUPER hard in the second half. I really did. But then, after the game was over, REX (yes, I am blaming this one on him) said, "Hey, did you hear what that girl over there just said?" No, I had not. "She said to that other girl, 'You had better tell Sam to tell her sister (who is Stephanie) that he is never even going to like her because she's a b***h and she thinks she's so cool...' and blah blah blah. Pretty much mean things. So THEN I was livid and said (a little too loudly, I must admit), "Oh she had BETTER not be talking about your brother, and she had BETTER not be talking smack about a girl his likes. I will lay down the SMACKDOWN!!!" to which Rex's mom said, "Who are you smacking down?" Oops. So I just said, "Nobody, because Rex heard them wrong. That is what I am telling myself." and I didn't tell her what they "said." But I was all of a sudden defending this random girlfriend who I know hardly anything about to Rex, saying, "She is NOT a b***h! She is cool! Jake likes her, and that means she has to be at least a little awesome! They should not be saying that! They go to K-Christian! How RUDE!" and various other things until Rex got too annoyed with my commentary and the fact that I don't even like her that much but was suddenly all defensive on behalf of Jacob.

On the way home, we were talking for a while when Lindsay asked, "Christine, do you have your own brother to worry about?" To which I responded, "No. So I have to worry about Rex's. Plus, their sister is in Boston so I am taking over the worrying about them for now. And, I have 16 years of worrying about him to make up for."

I am so concerned for my sister Cara...I can't imagine how crazy I'll be about her first boyfriend. I feel bad for her, and I also feel a little bad for the boyfriend. Ha ha...

Anyway, to Jake - I am sorry. I worry about you too much, and I know that. As Rex has said a million times: you are sixteen, you can do what you want, and you will be fine. I KNOW that. I really do. You don't need me to baby you and screen your girlfriends. I just love you and want you to be happy, and this is my twisted way of showing that. At least I have discovered this about myself now, and I can work on it. I've always got your back, though...probably more often than you want me to. :-)