Teacher Stories

Students are funny - this is true. From kindergarten to college, students do funny and stupid things. I feel that in my sixth grade classroom, the thought "I have to blog about that!" runs through my head may times each day. Most of the time, though, I forget about the incident in the midst of trying to do the other five million things a teacher has to do. Here are a few of my favorites from the past week or so, though (names have been changed):

1. At recess I saw some students playing a game of four square. This is not weird. The weird part was that only two students were playing the four player game, and they were using a golf ball because they didn't have a four-square ball. Creative? Definitely. Effective? Not so much.

2. Sometimes students like to complain about subjects they don't like. I have one student in particular who likes to complain a lot, and he sits in the front row. Last week he said, "I hate math!" I looked shocked and appalled, pointed my finger at him and barked, "TAKE IT BACK!" He shrunk down into his seat and said, "I love math!" That was better. A few days later, he said, "I hate Spelling!" I said, "Ben, why do you gotta be such a hater?! Stop hating on stuff! BAD BEN!" Then I took the water bottle that we use to clean the overhead projector and squirted him with it. The whole class (including Ben) busted up laughing. I told them that it works to spray my kitten when she does something bad, so I figured it would work in the class. I would like to note that Ben has not said he hates anything since this incident...so I think it was effective.

3. I have two students who walk into class every day acting like Oompa Loompas. They bob their bodies up and down and walk together chanting weird things. I do not understand the appeal of this. They act totally normal outside of the ten seconds that they are walking into class. Odd.

4. I have a student who is going to be Luigi from Super Mario Brothers for Halloween. He brought in his green Luigi hat to show his fellow classmates, and one of them said, "DUDE!! This would be such a great clubbing hat!" He then put the hat on his head and proceeded to "bust a move." I don't know what kind of clubs sixth graders are going to, but if Luigi hats are common uniform then I simply MUST go check that out.

5. Joey walked into class today playing with a small, feminine looking ring. I said, "Hey Joey, cool ring - is it yours?" Another student said, "No! He has it because he loooooooooves Jenny!" I exclaimed, "Ooooh! Did Jenny give you the ring?" He shrugged and said, "No." I then asked, "Are you going to give her the ring?" He sighed dejectedly and said, "Probably not. I think she would just throw it at my head anyway." He sighed again, put the ring away, and trudged back to his seat. My heart broke a little.

6. Today I was playing with some students at recess when one of them said, "Mrs. Webb, I bet you miss being a kid, don't you?" I said, "Yeah, I do. I know! You be the teacher, and I'll be a sixth grader." She said okay. She looked like she was thinking very hard about something, and then she said, "You know, no one actually knows your name. So I guess even though you wouldn't be 'Mrs. Webb' anymore, we would all just call you 'Webb.'" I guess since I don't have a first name, that means I have to stay being the teacher. Oh, well.

I love sixth grade. I wish you could come visit my class - it's pretty great. I'm sure this blog will be peppered with more stories as the year goes on!