So Speed and Tramp arrived at our apartment. They are really sweet girls. I don't actually have pictures of them, but they look kind of like this:
Speed:
Tramp:
Yesterday was my first day alone with the dogs because Rex had class, but I am on Spring Break. I was nervous, but Rex made sure I knew all the rules: make them lie down before they go outside, don't let them go into the hallway or bedroom, make sure they are nice to the cat, etc. etc.
WELL, I would call the day mostly successful. Mostly. It started off with Rex leaving for class, and Speed stood crying by the door for FOREVER. She was just whimpering and waiting for Rex to walk back in. I tried to be soothing: "Heeeeey, Speed! It's okay! He'll be back later, but we can have lots of fun while he's gone, okay? It will be great!" She turned from her post at the door just long enough to shoot me a look that said, "You are not Rex. I hate you. Shut up." Then she turned back to whining at the door.
Temporarily giving up on Speed, I decided to try hanging out with Tramp. She was looking out of our slider door at the ducks out on the lake. She was being calm and fun, and then suddenly she BARKED. I had a heart attack and snapped, "NO, TRAMP! NO BARKING!" Apparently I was a bit too forceful there, because she looked at me remorsefully and, tail between her legs, shuffled to her kennel where she went in like I had sentenced her to life in jail or something. Oops...I didn't mean to be that mean. I tried to explain to her that I wasn't mad, but I'm not super great at communicating with dogs. So now Speed was staring at the door waiting for Rex, Tramp was in Kennel Jail, and Elsie still won't look at me because she's so mad that we brought dogs into the apartment. I gave up on pets and decided to take a nap.
I woke up from my nap because the dogs were trying to go outside. SWEET! Finally something I have been trained in and can DEFINITELY handle! Yeah, right. When am I ever successful in anything that makes an appearance on this blog? Success stories aren't fun to read about. So anyway, I let out the dogs by making them lie down and then hooking them up to these leash/rope/string things that are attached to our porch to make sure the dogs don't wander too far off. YAY! I did that right! So I let them go outside. About five minutes later, I went back to the door to call them back in. Speed was waiting patiently by the door, but where was Tramp? I found her COMPLETELY tangled in this bush/tree that is by our porch. Her leash was tangled in the branches, tangled in her legs, tangled in everything! I don't know if I could get her that tangled up if I tried. So I let Speed come inside, and then I went out (still in my pajamas and looking like crap) to try to rescue Tramp. Finally we got her unstuck, and I brought her inside. She was unstuck, but still covered in a bunch of pricker-like things. Great, Tramp. Way to go.
Finally relieved that all animals were safe and inside, I sat down to read a book. I noticed Tramp wandering into the hallway, and I said, "Tramp! Stay!" What I meant was "Please stay in here because you're not supposed to go in the hallway." In dog language, though, "stay" means "FREEZE WHERE YOU ARE! DO NOT MOVE!" So that's what she did. I figured she would just get the idea and stop staying there, but she didn't. I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, she was still there in the exact same position as when I said "stay." I wasn't really sure what to do at that point. I tried various commands: "Ummm...UNSTAY! AT EASE! NO MORE STAYING! MOVE AROUND!" She looked at me blankly. The cat walked up and started licking Tramp's paws. Tramp gave me a look that said, "Do I REALLY have to stay? Can I please eat this cat?" but she didn't move a muscle. What a good dog. Finally I went back in the living room and called Tramp to come play with me, and she did. Phew! I was afraid she was going to stay frozen in the hallway forever!
When Rex got home, we decided to take the dogs for a walk around the lake. I got to walk Speed, and Rex took Tramp. He showed me how to hold the leash really tight and close to my side, because then "The dog will learn to walk at your pace." I held Speed's leash close to my side and said, "Yeah! Good dog, Speed! See? We're a great team. You can walk right next to me and it'll be really - YANK!!!! - Okay, Speed! Or I'll just follow you! I'm cool with that too, you know? We can let you lead for a while. We'll just, yeah, we'll jog a bit! I can use the exercise! AHHH!" How is it possible for someone to be bad at walking a dog?! Whatever. Speed must have been named "Speed" for a reason, right? So our walk was a bit brisker than I had envisioned. No big. It was fun anyway. I think I might like having dogs.
No comments:
Post a Comment