Friend-O-Rama

WARNING: This post is a sequel to the previous post entitled "Prejudice and...well really just Prejudice." If you haven't read that one, go read it NOW before you read this one. Seriously; stop reading this post and go read that one. You've read it? Are you sure? Because this post is about to start, and once you start reading there's no turning back... Fine. I'll assume you've read it. Here we go.

So when I last left you, I was full of excitement/nervousness over meeting Jermaine and his "lady friend." All the way over to the bowling alley I ran potential conversation starters past Rex:

1. So, slavery....that SUCKED, huh?
2. How about that milk chocolatey president we've got going on? Pretty cool, huh?
3. What are your views on the "n" word? Personally, I am anti.
4. You know who I love? Martin Luther King Jr. And I HAVE A DREAM that we will be friends!

Rex said, "Christine. For real. You are going to be QUIET, and you can just nod once in a while. I'll work on the conversation starters." Good enough for me.

So we arrived at the bowling alley, and I felt like we were on a blind date because Rex texted to Jermaine, "I am wearing a Michigan State shirt and my wife is wearing pink." So he was supposed to identify us. I panicked, "Rex, what if he doesn't know what a Michigan State shirt looks like?!" (it only had a Spartan logo on it - no words). Rex assured me, "He went to the University of Texas. He knows Michigan State." As if somehow that would assure all of my doubts. I told him I still didn't think it would work because the Spartan logo isn't some sort of universal symbol. Just to make me look like an idiot (seriously, these things always happen to me), as we were walking toward the bowling alley some RANDOM person yells out, "Woot! Go Michigan State!" Rex gave me a look that said, "See? Everyone knows our school." Blast.

We walked into the bowling alley, and sure enough - Jermaine recognized us. (I still hold that it was by my wearing pink and not by Rex's shirt that caused the recognition - just fyi). He got up out of his chair and casually held out his hand. "Hey guys, I'm J.B." My thoughts started racing: "JB? JB?! I thought you were Jermaine! Why the heck did you start going by JB?? But if you want us to call you 'JB,' I mean I guess I can do that, though in middle school culture 'JB' refers to the one and only 'Justin Bieber' and, I'm sorry sir, you're the farthest thing from JB imaginable." In accordance with Rex's wishes for me to remain silent, though, I did. I just nodded my head and let out a cavalier, "Hey JB. I'm Christine." WHOO HOO! SUCCESSFUL, NON OFFENSIVE INTRODUCTION!!!! He then introduced me to his "lady friend," who was about as much like TRAY-SAY as JB was like Justin Bieber. Amy is WHITE and THIRTY and didn't even bowl - she just sat at the table.

Just as these introductions were completed, a table of people next to us got up and said, "Hey, are you the Physical Therapy people?" My eyes widened in delighted surprise. People got the message on facebook to come! We were FRIEND RICH!!! I could go on in a loooooooong boring post about how we had fun bowling (Rex won and I got third), how we sat at the SUPER fancy bar afterwards and enjoyed their special (99 cent margaritas - WOOT!), and how we generally had a really great night getting to know each other and didn't go home until midnight. That would be a boring post, though. Instead, let me introduce you to my NEW FRIENDS!!! (Disclaimer: I know they're technically "Rex's" friends since they're PT people, but I told them that if I don't make friends with Rex's classmates then all of my friends this year will be twelve year olds. They agreed to adopt me into their Physical Therapy group.)

Here are my NEW FRIENDS!!!

JB: Highly cool. Not scary at all. (Also nothing like Justin Bieber, but I digress). He's from Texas, and he used to go hang out across the Mexican border a lot until one of his friends got drunk and arrested there, and the police took the guy's ID so then he had no way to get back into America. JB had to go give the guy food and clothes while he tried to get a hold of the American embassy and get his ID back so he could go home, but the guy ended up wandering the streets of Mexico for like 2 weeks and JB said that was really freaky so he never went to Mexico again. OH, and he said drug dealers there are really hard core and kill you in a million gruesome ways if you owe them money and that sometimes they transport drugs inside of dead babies. WHAT?!! But JB doesn't do drugs (Um, I WOULDN'T EITHER AFTER THOSE STORIES), and he is very anti-Mexico. I kind of never want to go there now.

Amy: JB's gf who moved here with him and is currently trying to get a job. She has FOUR degrees, so I figured finding a job would be relatively easy. Well, it apparently isn't easy when your degrees are Bachelors in English and History and Masters in "Jewish Genocide Studies" and "Museum Caretaking." So she hasn't found any work yet. She was job searching on her phone during bowling, and I tried to convince her to stop and have fun, but alas. She had fun afterwards, though, and told us about her time working for the Sheriff's station when she had to clean someone's brain off of a wall. Eww... But she can't work in law enforcement now since she wrecked her knee and has had EIGHT knee surgeries. Holy cow.

Karen: Really cool, recently engaged girl from Boise. I freaked out at the tell-tale glimmer on her left hand and exclaimed, "Are you ENGAGED?!" She said yes, and I instantly had to know the story of the engagement, what kind of dress she's looking for, where the wedding's going to be (HAWAII), etc. Rex and Karen's fiance looked at each other like, "Girls, huh? How dumb..." So I told them to go talk about football or something because I had not spoken to a girl in WEEKS and I WOULD get my girl talk! So we had fun talking about weddings and she said I can go dress shopping with her sometime! SCORE!! This is MY KIND OF FRIEND.

Matt: Karen's fiance. He pretty much sat quietly next to Karen all night. Like, really - I don't think he said anything (though who can blame him when our favorite topic was weddings). He plays football for Boise State, and whenever it was his turn to bowl he just CHUCKED the ball at the pins and they usually flew all over the place like the ball had exploded down there or something. He is in his last year at Boise State, and he's getting pumped for football season.

Katie: Awesome girl who discovered the 99 cent margarita special (right there - she is a good friend). She is TALL (6'3"), and from Massachusetts. She did her undergrad at "The University of New England," which I think sounds very proper. She said she's been bored out of her mind waiting for school to start and having a hard time making friends, so she is a definite potential for future hangouts. Actually, I think we're getting together at her place tomorrow for a Fourth of July barbeque. Cool!

Steven: I'm really not sure what to make of this guy. He was so intriguing! He's from Oregon. He lives by himself, but recently adopted a labradoodle. He just got finished working in "Corporate Management" and had decided he wants to be a physical therapist. He despised corporate management. I'm glad I never tried it. He told us all of these crazy stories about his undergrad experience such as, "Oh yes, when I was studying abroad in Nicaragua I delivered a baby..." WHAT, STEVEN?! YOU DELIVERED A BABY? "Oh yes, I even cut the placenta and the umbilical cord and everything. Childbirth is truly fascinating - I don't think it's as bad as everyone says." Easy for YOU to say, STEVEN. You're a guy.
As a side note, I felt like I was yelling at him all night when I called him "Steven." Who named Steven actually goes by "Steven"? There's usually some variation, like Steve, Stevie, Steve-o, you know - something! But this guy is just "Steven." So proper. Maybe he should get together with Katie and they can move to New England and live very proper lives.

So there you have it, folks - my NEW FRIENDS!! Hopefully we will end up doing that barbeque tomorrow, and then I might even have MORE stories for you! This blog might live on! HOORAY!