Bathroom Battle

Because it is the weekend, I have a bit of extra time to blog! Therefore I will tell you about the epic battle that took place in my bathroom this morning.

It all started because Rex and I were running late for church. We were in the bathroom at the same time, jostling around to try to get our teeth brushed and hair combed as quickly as possible. Rex did something annoying (who remembers what it was now?), and in response I took my toothbrush out of my mouth and smeared it on his face. He was left with a foamy white streak down the side of his cheek.

He responded with, "Oh it is so ON!", quickly grabbed his toothbrush and armed it with a particularly large blob of toothpaste. Realizing that I just started a battle that I didn't know if I could win, I tried to knock the toothbrush out of his hand. It didn't work, and he stuck it in his mouth. He took it out of his mouth and tried to smear the toothpaste on me, but I ducked. In ducking, I lost my balance and tried to grab onto the towel to keep me from hitting the floor. Instead of stabilizing myself, I pulled the towel rod OFF OF THE WALL. It clattered down on top of me.

Showing no mercy, Rex was still coming after me with the slimy toothbrush. I grabbed the towel rod and started using it like a sword, swinging it around in self defense. Rex knew he couldn't get to me without being smashed in the head, so he decided to try a different route. He pulled my perfectly clean church jacket off of the counter and started toward it with the spitty toothbrush. In order to save my jacket, I smashed the jacket with my towel-rod-sword to free it from his clutches. Unfortunately, I hit it a little too hard because it flew threw the air and landed with a sickening "plunk" right in the cat's dirty water bowl! And I mean, that water was DIRTY - brown from all of the food that the cat had accidentally dropped in her water. And my jacket is (was) white! AHHHHHHHHH!

Rex laughed at my horror and ran to the kitchen to put more water on his toothbrush (I was guarding the bathroom sink with my sword). I quickly shut the door and locked it, glad to be safe from the spit. Rex tried to jostle the door open, but I just laughed. He wouldn't be able to get through the modern high-quality locks of our Vegas apartment! I started planning how I could live out the rest of my life in the bathroom. I could drink water from the sink...eat some catfood...is lipstick edible? As I was contemplating these things, Rex PICKED THE LOCK and busted into the bathroom! I screamed as if he were coming at me with a chainsaw instead of a soggy toothbrush (I can only imagine what our neighbors were thinking). Rex backed me into the bathtub and I tried to escape, but as I tried to dash by him I got a big glob of slobbery toothpaste on my arm. EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!

I guess it was my fault for starting it.

The real lesson to learn here is this: wake up early enough that you do not have to share the bathroom with your spouse.