Nail Polish Nazi

Today I had what was probably the best and worst manicure of my life.

It was the best manicure because I got to go with my friend Jessica, and it's SO FUN to have a girl friend to actually hang out with IN THE FLESH. I love all of my long-distance friends, but it's nice to actually talk to a girl IN PERSON. Especially one who likes to talk about weddings and girly things. :-)

We decided to go to the mall and get manicures and pedicures in order to look all pretty for my party tonight (It starts in an hour and a half! I'm so excited!). I'm also celebrating the fact that I finished by first week of school, and now that I have a full time job I can actually AFFORD luxuries like manicures and pedicures! Seriously, I feel SO rich. And I'm only a teacher. Ha ha! Oh, well. I'm just thankful to have an income.

Anyway, our pedicures were super fun because we were in side-by-side chairs and got to chat the whole time. We both got cute flower designs painted on our toes - with jewels! - and they look fabulous. I should have known the manicure was going to go badly when I complimented the lady who did my toes, saying, "Wow! That looks amazing! Thank you!" and she GLARED at me and didn't say anything. It was as if "Wow! That looks amazing! Thank you!" means something really offensive in her native language. I was just trying to be nice!

So this lady takes me over to a table for my manicure. I asked if I could get a different color on my fingernails than I did on my toenails because I wanted a more "professional" color on my fingers (my toes are bright pink). She said, "NO! I file your nails now." Startled, I said okay. As she was filing, I said, "Could I please have oval shaped nails?" For some reason corners on my nails really bother me. Instead of filing my fingernails to ovals, though, she said, "NO! Ovals are too old for you. You young - I do squares." Umm...okay. I guess squares are fine too. After giving me the shortest hand massage in the history of the world (I'm not exaggerating - she didn't even spread all of the lotion around), she told me to go wash my hands. Because I can be quite cheeky when I'm annoyed, I said, "Okay but since I'm already getting up to wash my hands, could I please choose a different nail polish color?" She said, "NO! I said wash hands!" I tried to bargain. "Okay, I'll wash my hands first, but THEN can I pick a new color?" She gave up, sighed dejectedly, and said, "FINE." Triumphant, I washed my hands and picked my new color. When I came back, she said that I should pay so that I wouldn't have to get into my wallet with freshly painted nails. I mean, I'm pretty sure that's why. All she said to me was, "YOU PAY NOW!" and gave me a nasty scowl as if I were about to try to pay her with banana peels or something. I gave her my credit card, and she went to go charge the purchase. I asked if I could include a tip in the charge, and she scowled again and said, "NO!" Umm...okay. I guess she preferred a cash tip (I know they CAN take tips electronically because Jessica tipped her girl that way). I only had a dollar in cash, though, so I figured to give her only one dollar would probably be offensive so I ended up giving her nothing. I mean, I TRIED to give her a tip! But she was kind of evil anyway so I probably don't feel as badly as I should.