Student Stories

It's been two weeks since I've blogged. My humble apologies to my few but loyal readers. I have a fresh batch of student stories for you though...can you smell the drama? Mmmmmm...middle school.

1. I was teaching my students about inferences by playing a game called "fact, fact, inference." An example would be: FACT - the ground is wet. FACT - the sky is cloudy. Then the students would have to guess the "inference," which in this case would be that it has rained. I told my students to make up some of their own "fact, fact, inferences" to share with the class. When it came time to share, one girl was very excited so I called on her first. Here is what she said: "FACT: There are a lot of waffles flying around. FACT: there is debris everywhere." Some students raised their hands to guess, and she called on a boy from the opposite side of the room (so I know he hadn't seen her notebook). He got the answer right on the first try: "Inference: a Waffle House exploded." WHAT?!?!?! HOW DID HE GET THAT??? I thought no one was going to figure that one out. Weird kids.

2. One girl was very sad because she couldn't find her notebook for my class. I told her I would keep an eye out for it. The next day when she came to class, I asked if she had found her notebook yet. She responded with, "Oh yeah! It was in the oven," and went to go sit down as if that wasn't a weird thing to say at all. Her notebook was in the OVEN?! I asked her about it, and she said that she thinks her baby sister put it in there. Silly babies... I'm glad no one cooked the notebook!

3. A few seventh grade girls were talking about this guy in their class and how he's "so cute" and has a six pack and it so muscular and blah blah blah. A chunky boy from the class overheard them. He came up to me, patting his copious belly, and said "Here's what I don't get, Mrs. Webb. Why do girls want a six pack when they could have the entire keg?" BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I know that was an alcoholic reference and therefore inappropriate in school, but I couldn't help it. I laughed. Then I made sure to mention that I'm sure he was talking about a "root beer keg." Obviously.

4. One of my eighth grade girls was talking about how her mom used to be in a gang. Knowing this girl and knowing her mother, I have to say that the idea doesn't seem too unbelievable. Anyway, here's a quote from my student: "Yeah, my mom used to be real gangster. She had brass knuckles and beat people up and everything. She's turned her life around, though, so now she's just a gangster for the Lord." HA HA! I mean, the Lord could use some gangsters, right? I bet there's a Harley in heaven with her name on it.

5. Quote from an eighth grade boy: "Mrs. Webb, I just want you to know: some people think your teaching style is odd. I consider it to be REVOLUTIONARY!" Ha ha ha...glad someone's enjoying my class.

6. A sixth grade girl asked me what the word "wench" means (it was in our book). I was trying to explain it, quite unsuccessfully, when another girl made a connection for me: "Oh, so a 'wench' is pretty much an old fashioned hoochie mama?" Yes. Exactly. Please go home and tell your parents what you learned today.

7. I was teaching about the different perspectives books could be written in: 1st person, 2nd person, 3rd person regular, and 3rd person omniscient. I would read a paragraph, and then I would ask the students from which point of view that paragraph was written. I called on one of my boys, and he thought for a moment before saying, "It's 3rd person...and I'm pretty sure it's the Amish one." AMISH?!?! LOL! No, sir, it's "omniscient," not "amish." But of course for the rest of the class my kids referred to that point of view as the "amish one." They'd better not put that on the test!

Middle school is a crazy, crazy world. You should come visit sometime.