Ripped Shorts

Want me to let you in on a little secret?

Come closer to the computer...I don't want anyone else to hear it...

Marriage isn't always fun.

*GASP!*  I know you're gasping right now.  I'm sorry to have to rock your world like this.  It's not.  Sometimes it's work.  Sometime's it's compromise.  Oh, you want an example?  Sure.  I've got one.  Sometimes I have to let Rex dress himself when we go to parties, even though he might look ridiculous.  You know, because I have to respect his individuality or whatever.

A good example of this is when we went to a dinner party for a lady at his work.  I had just gone to a wedding with Rex the evening prior, where he had worn a shirt and tie and looked very nice (because I told him he had to and picked out his clothes).  Therefore I felt that I needed to back off and not tell him what to wear to this dinner party.  When he came downstairs in ripped shorts, a blue collared beer shirt with "Rex" embroidered on the front, black socks, and a camouflage hat, I shook my head but stayed quiet.  I'm his wife, not his mom.  If he wants to look like a weirdo, that's on him.

When we got to the party, he got a couple weird looks (duh), but my absolute favorite moment of the night came when Lindy, the hostess's eighteen-year-old daughter, said, "Okay Rex.  Um...explain your outfit to me."  He acted surprised and said, "What?  What's wrong with my outfit?"  I almost spit my lemonade out from laughing.  Lindy continued, "No!  It's just that...I want to be laughing with you, not at you, so you need to explain the ripped shorts and why you look like a mechanic mixed with a lumberjack."

THANK YOU, LINDY!!!

I seriously could have hugged her.  These are the things I can't say to Rex.  Rex, suddenly (possibly?) realizing that he looked ridiculous, tried to defend himself:  "I love these shorts!  I've had them since I was sixteen!  See, these shorts are really a metaphor for life: once I find something I love, I never let it go.  So maybe they have a few rips in them, maybe they're not as great as they once were, but do I stop wearing them?  No!  I am loyal!  This should be comforting to Christine.  If she ever gets old and fat or stops being all awesome like she is now, she knows that I'll never let her go because I never let anything go once I really love it.  Like these shorts."

Which, you know, was a little bit sweet in it's own weird, Rexish way...but I still want to burn those dumb shorts.  Lindy tried to make sense of the rest of the outfit, but eventually gave up because...come on...the outfit made no sense.  At least it was Rex's work party and not mine.  I have my school picnic on Friday, and I'm already trying to figure out a way to dress him while letting him think he came up with the outfit himself...hmmm...  Maybe I'll call Lindy for help.