The Dark (Blue) Secret

Everyone has secrets.  I have secrets, you have secrets.  Every once in a while, though, when a secret gets revealed, you think, "WHOA!  I did not see that one coming."

This happened with my husband this weekend.

My sister-in-law bought her family season tickets to University of Michigan football this year (Yippee!  Go Michelle!).  Rex and I are OBVIOUSLY State fans, not U of M ones, but Big 10 football is awesome no matter how you slice it.  We got the tickets to go to this weekend's game against UNLV, and we were very grateful for the opportunity.  I wanted to wear a Las Vegas shirt, but I realized that I have no UNLV shirts or even any that say Las Vegas on them.  Strange!  Then again, do you have a shirt with your town's name on it?  I guess when you live there it's weird to buy touristy shirts.  Hmmm.  Plus, Michelle told us that the tickets were in the alumni section and that we needed to please not embarrass her.  Therefore I couldn't go wearing an MSU shirt or anything, which would look ridiculous anyway since we weren't playing them.  I begrudgingly agreed to wear a U of M shirt, since we did get the tickets for free and all.  I wanted to be nice.

I CLEARLY do not own and U of M shirts (ew, gross, the thought of it gives me the willies).  I asked a friend at work if I could borrow one of hers because I know that she goes to U of M games sometimes.  Unfortunately, she couldn't find hers the night before the game.  She suggested I go buy one.  "They're only like, $10," she said.  I steadfastly refused.  I am not paying my hard-earned money to support maize and blue.  No siree.  Not even if it's only $10.  I told Rex that I was disappointed to not be supporting either team, but that I would just end up wearing some non-descript outfit to the game.  It felt wrong, like showing up to a Halloween party without a costume or singing in a choir but forgetting your robe.  Everyone else would be wearing team apparel, and I'd be a loser.  Suddenly, Rex comes up with this:

"I think I have a U of M shirt you can borrow."

Huh?  I mean, I knew he had a sordid past of being a U of M fan in high school, but this was almost a decade ago.  We'd long since worked through that issue and moved past it (lol).  He'd been since enlightened.  Why would a U of M shirt still be lurking in our house?  I told Rex, "Well...if you can find the shirt, that might be nice..."  I was figuring that, if such a shirt did exist, it would be buried in a forgotten box somewhere in a dusty corner.  Preferably one with spiders and mice ruining the clothes inside.

To my surprise and slight horror, Rex came back upstairs a few minutes later with a box.

"Which shirt would you like?" he asked.  "I have this one..." he pulled out a standard maize-and-blue Michigan shirt, "or this one..." he pulled out a Rose Bowl 2004 shirt, "...or this one..." he pulled out a maize-and-blue jersey.  He then started on the sweatshirts, other T-shirts, and this veritable COLLECTION of University of Michigan attire.  My mouth dropped open.  Who is this man?!  Why does he have so many enemy clothes?!  How have these clothes made it through SIX moves since we've been married without me discovering them?!

It was as if he was showing me a secret porn stash or something.  WHY DO WE HAVE THESE DISGUSTING THINGS IN OUR HOUSE?!  And how did he find them so quickly?!  Is he a secret U of M fan?  How can I be married to a stealth wolverine?

It was quite shocking.  I didn't know what to do with the fact that we have all of these clothes.  Unfortunately, I had agreed to wear a shirt to the game.  I chose one that mostly fit, but I felt dirty wearing it.  We has a great time at the game, but now that it's over I'm trying to figure out what to do with this box of nasty Michigan clothes.  Knowing Rex, he's probably already hidden it back wherever it was before so I can't find it and burn it.

Go Green.
Go White.

Forever.