Black Friday

Black Friday is a perfect example of what is wrong with the world: millions of people waking up before daylight and lining up for blocks and blocks, all for the opportunity to spend tons of money on more stuff so that they can attempt to fill their empty lives with material goods.

Obviously I wouldn't miss this.

Even though Black Friday might be mindless and materialistic, it is still a ton of fun! I have been going every year for about five years now, and it is always a total blast. I think National Geographic should make a documentary about Black Friday, because the dangerous jungles of the Amazon are really not so different from your local shopping mall on the day after Thanksgiving. It would be a great story - it has "survival of the fittest," "early bird catches the worm," and all of those other environmental laws.

This year's Black Friday started much like any other: creating our "battle plans" on Thanksgiving Day. My family always goes through all of the newspaper ads and decides which items are worth waking up at 4 in the morning for. Usually I just end up tagging along in the quest to nab the latest technological gizmo for my sister (she saves up her money all year to buy something cool on Black Friday). THIS year, though, I saw something I wanted for ME. A new video camera for only $19.99! WHOA!

I have been wanting a new video camera for a while (it was even on my Christmas list!), and obviously this deal was too good to pass up. The video camera was being sold at Menards, and luckily the items Rex wanted were also at Menards. My dad agreed to go with us (he was buying a scooter for my cousin), so we made our battle plans to advance on Menards at 5 AM the next morning.

4:30 AM rolled around far too quickly. We dragged ourselves out of bed and tried to get pumped up for our shopping excursion. At 4:30, Cara was just arriving back home (!) from her 3:00 AM trip to Wal-Mart to secure the new ipod touch. Still in the Black Friday mood, she decided to go with us to Menards.

The thing about waiting outside on Black Friday is that it is COLD. It was 12 degrees outside in Kalamazoo. I wore plenty of layers, but Rex still insisted that I wear his winter jacket because it is the warmest one we have. It is nice that he wants me to be warm and is willing to sacrifice his jacket, but I HATE his winter jacket!! Before you call me totally spoiled, hear me out: It is a UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN jacket!! He got it for free from his sister, who worked in the residence halls at U of M. She picked it up after one of the athletes threw it away (whoever it was was #10 - it says so right on the coat). Anyway, it is a really nice winter coat, but it has Ann Arbor cooties that have rendered it largely unwearable. Rex wasn't going to let me go shopping without the "proper warmth," though, so I was forced to wear it. He handed me the jacket, and I held it up with two fingers as if I was being forced to wear a dead opossum carcass. Before I put it on, I grabbed a roll of masking tape and put a giant "X" over the M logo and the word "Michigan." I left the Nike sign alone because, after all, that's not so offensive.

We trooped over to Menards, delayed by Cara deciding to go with us (she needed to change her clothes) and by me redecorating Rex's coat. By the time we showed up, the line was almost out to the road (about 500 feet from the entrance to the store). My heart sank - I knew that the video cameras were going to be a hot seller, and they would probably be sold out by the time that I reached the front of the line. I decided to just be happy being out with my family, and we had a great time joking around with people in line.

When it was FINALLY time for the store to open, there was a mad rush for the front door. Someone tried to jump out of their car and cut into the front of the line, and my dad screamed, "HEY! Don't cheat! If you cheat now, you will be a cheater for the rest of your life!! You will cheat on your exams! You will cheat at your job! You will cheat on your spouse!! EVERYONE HATES CHEATERS!!!" He was getting a little too enthusiastic. I tried to tune him out as I kept my eyes on the prize: my video camera. We rushed into the store and spread out so we could each find our respective items. Rex and I stayed together, though, because... well actually, I don't know. Because we like being together I guess. Anyway, we asked someone where the video cameras were being sold, and we were pointed to the back of the store. We rushed around the throngs of people, dodging shopping carts and trying not to trample young children. They should really make a video game of Black Friday - it is a real challenge.

We finally made it to the back of the store, and I spotted a small display of video cameras. There were still a few boxes left! I reached out and grabbed my prize. SUCCESS!!! I dropped to my knees in a Mia Hamm victory pose, held the box over my head and shouted, "YYYYYEEEEEESSSSSSS!"

No I didn't...that would be too overly dramatic.

OKAY OKAY I can't lie to you - yes I did actually do that. Don't judge. Black Friday does weird things to people. I blame the Michigan jacket.

Once my camera was secured, we headed to look for Rex's items. He wanted a roll up keyboard, a beard trimmer, a tea kettle for his grandma (aw!), and an ipod dock for his little brother. WE GOT EVERYTHING! Can you believe it? Usually something sells out before we get to it, but we got everything we wanted! Cara and my Dad secured all of their treasures too! We all agreed that it was the most successful Black Friday ever. It was so much fun that, after our traditional victory breakfast at McDonalds, Rex and Cara and I went out to a bunch of other stores just to hang out and watch the madness.

It is such a shame that this day only comes once a year. Only 361 days until Black Friday 2011!