Holiday Hauntings

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!!

Am I the first one to say that to you this season? I hope so! Probably not, though, because Halloween was six whole days ago. Ever since then, the world has gone Christmas Crazy!

Rex and I went out running errands today, and it was the first time I have really gone out into the world of retail since Halloween. Holiday cheer is IN YOUR FACE wherever you go. At PetSmart, the door was covered in signs that said, "Seasons Greetings!" "Happy Hanukkah!" "Happy Kwanzaa!" "Merry Christmas!" and every other holiday that happens this time of year...some that I have not even heard of. There were holiday pet costumes for sale - want to dress up your dog as a menorah? I don't.

The seasonal items in PetSmart were really only a training ground for the abundance of holiday cheer items I was suffocated with at Macy's. As soon as we walked in, there was a table of happy children scribbling their letters to Santa, which they dropped into a waist-high red mailbox labeled "SANTA MAIL - PICKED UP DAILY." There were ornaments hanging from miles of garlands which snaked their way around the ceiling and over the glittering counters. There were people bustling around with flushed cheeks and wearing their new winter coats. People were hurrying toward the "Holiday Sale!" racks and purchasing piles upon piles of clothes, as if the "Holiday Sale!" was only going to go through tomorrow. You would have thought it was December 24. I checked my phone to see if I had fallen into some sort of time warp, but no - the date is only November 6.

Walmart was decked out in Christmas decorations for sale. A forest of Christmas trees decorated half of the store. Aisles and aisles of ornaments screamed, "Pick me! Pick me!" Toys that used to be hidden away in the toy department are now proudly displayed in the middle of the store so that the bright fluorescent lights can make them look even brighter and more enticing to unintentionally greedy children (no doubt they will add these toys to the "Santa List" they are about to go mail at Macy's).

Even Home Depot caught the holiday bug. We walked in to see all of the walls at the front of the store painted in bright murals. One was a living room scene which had a bright fireplace with stockings hanging up above it. The names on the stockings were "Rex" and "Chris." No lie. What are the odds of THAT?? It was weird. Home Depot was even giving away free popcorn to kick off the Christmas season! YUM!

I don't know quite what has happened to the world. Christmas is still 48 days away! Plus, Halloween JUST ended! Is there a little storage of elves hanging out in the stockrooms of each store all year, just waiting for the last piece of Halloween candy to be handed out so that - BAM!!!!! - they can come out at night and cover the store in their North Pole necessities? I think that must be what happens. There is no other explanation for how these Christmas decorations have appeared so suddenly, before my pumpkins have even begun to rot.