NYE 2013

Well, it's New Year's Eve again.  I remember last year on this day I was writing about flying home to Vegas and reflecting on a relatively tough 2012.  WELL, I can say that 2013 was a blast and that I'm actually kind of sad to see it go.  Sure, being apart from Rex for almost six months of it was kind of horrible, but I think our marriage is a lot stronger because of it and we both learned a lot about ourselves in that process, so...  I think it's all okay.  Especially because he's home now.  :-)  Here's some 2013 highlights (not in order)....

1. Teaching fifth grade - so fab.
2. Cross country road trip with Jake and Jagtlyn (which encompasses a few of my next items)
3. Seeing the Grand Canyon
4. Watching Rex freak out like a kid on Christmas morning when we went to the Duck Commander warehouse
5. Meeting a weird Andy Griffith-obsessed herpetologist in New Mexico
6. Swimming under waterfalls in Tennessee
7. Watching my sister win the state championships in softball
8. Reconnecting with old friends when we moved back to Michigan
9. Fostering pugs
10. Getting a new job and loving it
11. Living 0.5 miles away from my job instead of 35 miles like last year
12. Getting a book published (that happened in February - I almost forgot it was this year)
13. Having three magazine articles published
14. Playing with Elvis in our new fenced-in backyard
15. Hanging out with my siblings and actually becoming friends rather than "see you at holidays" family
16. Watching MSU win the Rose Bowl (oh wait, that's tomorrow.  I'm still including it!)

Yep, I'd say it was a pretty good year.  It's going to be tough to top that in 2014, but we'll see what God has in store!  Happy New Year, everyone!

Christmas Caroling

I love my dad.  He's seriously one of my favorite people in the whole world.  One of the things I love about him is that it's impossible to be with him and not have fun.  He brings cheer wherever he goes, and this becomes especially fun at Christmas.  Every year for the past ten years, my dad has requested that as his Christmas present the whole family go Christmas caroling in the neighborhood.  We always grumble and say, "Seriously?  We're doing this AGAIN?"  But secretly we always love it. 

Have you heard my dad sing?  No?  Well, have you heard a cat yowl after its tail got stepped on?  It's basically the same thing.  As a matter of fact, no one in my family is particularly musical.  Cara's got a pretty good voice, but no one hears it over my dad's hollers of "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing."  Every year I think we're going to completely humiliate ourselves, but here's the thing: no one cares that we're bad!  They're always just so happy to have "old fashioned carolers" come by their house.  Sometimes the fact that we're bad works to our advantage, because then the people at the door decide to sing along with us and that helps drown out the bad notes a little bit.

This year we went to Chicago the weekend before Christmas to visit my aunts and uncles.  My dad declared that rather than give up his traditional caroling, we would just do it in my uncle's neighborhood!  Actually, this sounded like a great idea to me - I never have to see any of those people again. 

We all (11 of us!) bundled up and went out caroling.  It was a lot of fun, just as it is every year.  Here were a few of my highlights:

1. One crazy lady loved us so much that she offered us a bottle of wine and $20!  We said no, obviously, since caroling is our gift to them and we're not doing it for money.  The lady got super mad and was like, "What the hell?!  That shit don't fly here!  You have to take something!!"  Uh....walk away quickly, children, walk away.  My cousins are 7 and 9.  What a great display of Christmas cheer for them to see.  Eeeek!

2. We walked up to one house just as a man was getting out of his car.  My dad said, "Hurry up, guys, SING NOW!"  So we awkwardly stood there and serenaded the one guy as he stood out in front of his garage.  When we were finished he knocked on the garage, which I thought was kind of weird because how is someone in the house going to hear him when he's knocking on the garage?  To my surprise, the garage door opened and revealed the coolest man cave ever!  It seriously looked like a beer commercial waiting to happen.  There was a giant screen TV, old couches, neon beer signs on the walls, and tall heat lamps to keep the garage warm.  The guy pulled out a cigar and asked if we wanted to watch the Bears game with  him and his buddies (who were already in the man cave).  We said no, but that place was super cool.

3. We went up to one house and started singing, and two beagles jumped up to the window and started howling (it looked as if they were singing along with us!).  We sang with them for a little while until a kid (around six years old) came to the door.  He saw us through the side window and was about to answer the door when he looked down and realized that he was in his underwear.  Embarrassed, he turned and sprinted up the stairs without opening the door.  Ha ha!  We just kept singing until his mom came and opened the door for us. 

It was another eventful year for Knasel caroling.  Now it's Christmas Eve and I'm sitting here blogging even though I should be getting ready for church, but I'm not going to go because poor Rex has been throwing up all day and I have to tend to him.  Poor guy!  If you read this before tomorrow, pray that he gets better for Christmas!  Magic always happens on Christmas Eve, right?  It could happen.

Dear Providence, You're Doing It Right

I love my school.  Have I mentioned that before?  I LOVE it.  It's funny to think how worried I was this summer about how they were going to be too conservative or that they would hate me or that I would hate them and blah blah blah.  I love it, and I want to work there for a long time.  We'll see what God's plans are for Rex and I next year, but I pray that they include keeping me at Providence.

One of the things I love about Providence is that they keep their priorities straight.  You can see it in everything they do:  God is #1, family is #2, and everything else in life trails far behind those two things.  I could wax on for hours about how they espouse these values on a day to day basis, but I'll spare you the novel.  I just want to talk about how they celebrate Christmas.

In every school I've been in previously (both as a teacher and as a student), the day before Christmas Break is a day to party and have fun.  We generally eat a lot of cookies, watch a Christmas movie, and do some sort of gift exchange.  You know the drill.  At Providence, they have a tradition of using the day before Christmas break to spread Christmas cheer to people in the community.  They see it as an opportunity to be selfless rather than selfish and to show students what it looks like to care for others.

The day began with splitting up into "teams" to go visit elderly people who live alone and don't have a lot of family around to visit often.  This is directly in line with the Bible's teaching to care for widows and to learn from the wisdom of our elders.  My car went to visit a woman named Netty.  She is 80 years old, and you could tell she had really been looking forward to having us.  She had fresh pumpkin bars made and juice to drink.  She told us all about when she immigrated to the United States at age 20 because she followed the man she loved even though she didn't know when she would get to see her family again.  She talked about her adventures with her husband in Indonesia, China, and a million other places.  She talked about the joy of raising their kids together.  She talked about the sadness when he passed away in 2000 after 46 years of marriage.  It was a fascinating story, and it was so good for the students (and me) to look at the theme of God's love and providence over the span of this woman's whole life.  I'm sure it was good for her to have visitors.

After the home visits, the junior high met up again at an area nursing home, where we sang Christmas carols and read Bible verses to the residents there.  One ornery old guy had a playground ball that he kept throwing at us from his wheelchair, but that was really funny and the kids kept throwing it back at him (not too hard, don't worry).

After the nursing home visit, each car of students got to choose where they wanted to go out to lunch.  My car chose Subway, which was fun.  It was a blast to sit down with four of my students and have fun together away from the pressures of school and homework and assessments.  It was so funny to talk about our first impressions of each other.  I thought they were sheltered and weird; they were worried I was going to be boring and incompetent like their last teacher (their words, not mine.  I'm sure she was lovely).  We all agreed that actually we all ended up liking each other quite a bit and that we're glad it all worked out the way it did.

Once lunch was finished, we went back to the school for a Christmas chapel and then a Christmas sing-a-long where the families of the students came to school to join in singing Christmas carols.  I held someone's baby during the sing-a-long, which was funny because I'm not inherently that mother-y and I was positive that I was going to make the baby cry during the program and embarrass myself by having to go across the entire gym in front of the podium to give him back to his mom.  Fortunately he was a good baby. *phew!*  We made it through the program unscathed, and I was quite relieved when his mom took him back.  She said, "You're going to be a great mom someday," and I just laughed nervously and mumbled out something along the lines of "Thanks" and refrained from adding, "That is so not going to happen."

All in all, it was a great day.  I think that the school's message of looking outside yourself and providing for the community is a great thing to focus on.  I wish more schools would do that.  My school would be basically perfect if only I could wear nail polish...  I may or may not have gone with one of my teacher friends to get manicures immediately after school today.  Two weeks of painted nails ahead!  Paaaartay!

Yay for the true meaning of Christmas Break - community service and sparkly nails.  

Surprises

This was the best weekend I've had in months.  It was a total and 100% BLAST, and it all started with a fun surprise.

My plan was to have a girls' weekend with my friend Katie.  I'm in her wedding in July, and we were going to spend the whole weekend planning.  I love weddings and I love Katie, so obviously this was going to be fun.  On Friday, though, her fiancé called me and asked if I would mind if he came up to see her (He's living in Ohio and she's in Traverse City, so Kalamazoo is actually a pretty good meeting point).  He wanted to make it a big surprise since she didn't think she was going to get to see him until New Year's.  I'm all on board for romantic plans and giving Katie a chance to see her fiancé, but I was a little bummed because it meant that we weren't going to have our "girls' weekend" and that I would probably end up being a third wheel in my own house for the whole three days.  I was picturing the newly engaged couple being all googly on each other while I sat in a corner eating a box of twinkies and wishing my husband was in town so I didn't feel like such a loser.

Let's just say that Katie and Chris are super awesome, and it didn't end up being like that at all!  We had so much fun.  Katie arrived first, so we ate some pizza and had girl time while we (I) waited for Chris to arrive.  He wasn't due to be to my house until about midnight, so we had to stay up a while.  Finally he arrived and texted that he was waiting outside the front door - could I send Katie out?  Well, there's really no logical way to get someone to open your front door.  Think about it.  There isn't.  Finally I went to the kitchen to clean something and said, "Hey, I was supposed to get a letter today - would you mind checking the mail to see if I got it?" 

Okay, I know that's lame.  I KNOW.  But I couldn't think of anything else.  It worked, so I guess that's what matters.  Katie was so happy to see Chris, and Chris was happy to come in out of the cold.  He ate some of our pizza, and we sat and talked for a while.  It was good to see him - I really enjoy both Chris and Katie.  Just as I was about to suggest we start heading to bed, Elvis started howling like mad from the kitchen.  I went to go investigate, but I didn't see what he was howling at.  I went back to the living room, and Chris and Katie asked for a tour of the house.  We were in the office when the doorbell rang.  That's super ominous at 1 AM!  I was really creeped out and thought maybe the neighbors had come to yell at me for how loud Elvis was being, so I peeked out of the door only to see that no one was there.  I thought I heard someone at the back door, and I started to get really freaked out.  I made Chris go check the door because I was scared of every murderer/thief/rapist that I've ever seen on the news.  Chris checked the door for me, but he said no one was there.  It must have been a ding-dong-ditch.  My heart was going about a million miles an hour - who was walking around outside my house at 1 AM?!

I went to go investigate the back door myself since Chris had said the coast was clear, but when I rounded the corner into the kitchen I saw a very familiar figure wearing a cowboy hat and holding a dozen roses.

REX WAS HOME!!!!!!!!!

I screamed (half out of being startled and half out of joy) and ran and jumped on him (I think I crushed a couple of the flowers...oops).  I
thought he was on a hunting trip, but NOPE!  He came home to surprise me!  Apparently the entire thing had been a setup - Katie knew Chris was coming the whole time.  They had set up this whole "couples weekend" without me knowing and had just made up the Chris "surprise" since he would be arriving first.  I was 100% shocked and SO happy.  We had so much fun that I really can't describe it all here...  we baked and decorated cookies, we went downtown and listened to a jazz band while eating delicious food, we walked around the park and looked at the Christmas lights, we had an epic snowball fight, we played way too much euchre, we drove around in the horrible blizzard while rocking out to "Feliz Navidad," and we had Rex's family over for an awesome soup lunch after church today.  It was seriously the best weekend ever.

My friends rock.
My husband rocks.
My life rocks.

Merry Christmas!

Persuasive Essays

Just a real quick post for you about Thanksgiving...

The day before Thanksgiving Break, I had my students do a persuasive writing activity in conjunction with the fourth and fifth grade classes (I teach junior high).  Students had to choose a writing prompt and write a one(ish) page essay responding to that prompt.  Here are some excerpts from a few of my favorites.  I LOVE my job.  That's really all there is to say about that.

Prompt:  Write from the point of view of a turkey and convince people to not eat you.

Response: 

          I am a nice little innocent turkey, and why do you want to eat me?  What did I ever do to you?  First reason why you shouldn't eat me: I could be sick with anthrax and you might not notice it.  Then you'll be angry for eating me.  Turkey is very expensive, and then you'll be broke sitting under an overpass with no bed or house to live in.  You will be sitting under a bridge and you won't get a wink of sleep.  Then you'll think back and say, "I'm so stupid that I got that expensive turkey."  Your cook may be dumb and blind and might not cook me thoroughly.  He might not have killed me thoroughly, and when you go to eat it my nerves might react and my wings or legs might flop over the table and your wife might faint because of the awful sight.  I could be very lardy and fat, and your thanksgiving day turkey will be made of big chunks of fat.  Next time you think of getting a turkey, just remember the wise turkey who told you the reasons why you shouldn't get a turkey for thanksgiving.

Prompt:  Write from the point of view of the pilgrims to convince the Native Americans that you are a friendly people.

Response: 

Dear Savages,

 

I know that previous explorers have killed your people, spread disease, and made you slaves.  That is not why we've come.  We strive for peace.  If you agree to not storm our forts and wreak havoc on our peaceful civilization, we will not retaliate and burn your teepees to the ground.  I would like to extend the olive branch.  We pilgrims are having a dinner party.  It would be very appreciated if you would bring a dish to pass, or rather, various dishes as it has been a sparse summer.  Business casual.

 

Long live our King,

The Pilgrims

Independent Woman

Rex has been gone for almost five months.  GROSS.  I hate it.  Only 32 more days until he's home for good, but who's counting?  I never really realized how dependent I was on him until he was gone.  It's handy to have a guy in my life - he lifts the heavy stuff, zips up my dress if I can't reach the zipper, fixes the car when it won't start, etc.  Confession: he even braids my hair when I want it braided.  I don't know how to braid my own hair, which is actually ridiculous. I just never learned.

Slowly but surely, I'm learning how to do all of "Rex's stuff" on my own.  It's weird and oddly satisfying to live on my own.  It's like, "Hey, I can do this. Not that I want to...but it's cool that I can."  Does that make any sense? 

Anyway, today I had an awesome "go me," independent woman experience (please cue "Independent Woman" by Destiny's Child in your head as you read this).  My toilet broke, and I panicked.  It wasn't clogged - don't think anything nasty, you nasty - but when I got home from school the water was just running and running, and it wouldn't stop.  The bowl wasn't overflowed or anything, but it just kept refilling itself for no apparent reason.

Now, we only have one toilet in the house, and I had been teaching all day so I really wanted to use it.  Unfortunately, I couldn't.  It was running, and the flusher wouldn't do anything to stop it.  I immediately picked up my phone to call Rex, but then I remembered that he was hunting and probably wouldn't want to scare all the deer away while he discussed plumbing problems with me.  Instead, I called my dad.  He didn't answer.

I stared at the toilet, perplexed.  I thought about peeing in the shower, but that's disgusting.  I thought about getting in my car and driving somewhere else to use their bathroom, but then I thought to myself, "This is ridiculous.  You're a college-educated twenty-four year old.  You're not going to be defeated by a toilet."

I spent the next twenty minutes on the internet researching how toilets work.  It was actually kind of interesting - have you ever studied the evolution of a modern toilet?  Well, I have.  I studied diagrams and looked up trouble shooting pages about everything that can go wrong with your toilet (which is apparently a lot of different things). After all of that research I really, really had to go, so I marched back into the bathroom with my newfound knowledge, ready to take on my porcelain foe.

I opened the tank part of the toilet, and I noticed that the flapper was up.  WELL, that's supposed to be down when the toilet's not running, so I put it down.  Unfortunately, it picked back up.  Stubborn little thing.  I tinkered around with some parts and took some stuff apart, and finally I lengthened the chain from the flusher doohickey to the flapper thing (my terminology...not sure what they're actually called).  Once I lengthened the chain, the toilet water stopped running, and the toilet magically worked!  Whooo hoooo!  I'm one exposed butt crack away from being a plumber!

Anyway, it was a personal triumph.  I beat my toilet.  Now if only I could braid my own hair...

Why I Was Late For Work Today

Why I was late to work this morning (or, in other words, the letter I didn't actually send to my boss).

 

Dear Boss,

 

I'm very sorry that I was late to work this morning.  I didn't mean to be.  Really, though, it wasn't my fault.  You see, I've been living in Nevada for the past few years.  We don't believe in snow there.  When it snowed last night, that put my whole world into a tailspin.

 

I woke up this morning, looked out the window, and freaked out.  SNOW?!?!?!  The magical powder that had been reduced to a distant memory was now suddenly in my life again?!  I couldn't decide how I felt about it.  Happy?  Sad?  Angry?  Excited?  I needed to call a therapist to sort out all of these emotions.  Unfortunately, it was 6:30 AM, so I had to soldier on alone.

 

I decided to proceed with my morning routine as usual.  Things were pretty normal when I was in my house, but when I took the dog out for a walk...well...things didn't go as usual.  Elvis has never seen snow, you see, so he completely freaked out and wouldn't go to the bathroom.  His tail was between his legs, his hair was raised his back, and his legs were spread out in all directions as far as they would go, as if somehow he could avoid the snow if he just stretched out enough.  He kept sniffing the snow and then jumping back as if it bit him.  I think the coldness surprised him.  Do you have a dog, Boss?  Have you ever taken him out and he wouldn't go to the bathroom?  You can't just take him back inside and LEAVE him there in his cage all day.  His bladder will explode!  He'll call PETA and they'll take you to animal cruelty jail!  I couldn't do that.  It would be too horrible (I thought).

 

But then...after standing in the snow for ten minutes waiting for Elvis to go, I decided to just leave him in his kennel.  PETA might call, but I was cold and he was really freaked out by the snow.  He was about to go into a full-blown canine panic attack, I could tell.  It's more cruel to torture him with fear than to make him have to hold his pee, right?  Right.  Which brings me to my next point - I need to leave at lunch to let the dog out.  I hope that's okay.

 

So anyway, I finished bringing Elvis inside, then I got my things together and got into my car.  Unfortunately, there was ice on the windshield.  Now, I remember back in my childhood my parents had a tool called an "ice scraper" that would scrape ice off of the car.  Since my car has been in the desert for the past few years, I have no ice scraper.  I looked all around the car and in my purse for tools, and the only thing I came up with was a credit card. 

 

I sighed and decided to use my credit card to wipe the ice off of my windshield.  I tried to get out of my car but discovered I was stuck.  The driver's side door handle is broken, so I have to roll down the window to open the door from the outside.  When I went to roll down the window, I discovered that the window was frozen in the "up" position.  Fabulous.  So I was trapped in my ice cave of a car.

 

I made my great escape by climbing into the back seat and opening that door.  Then I went to the front and executed my (largely unsuccessful) credit card ice scraper plan.  I'm pretty sure I got some ice shards in my fingernails, but hey - anything to get to work!  Aren't I dedicated?!

 

I toiled restlessly until I had cleared off enough ice to drive to school, but alas - I was late.  A thousand apologies.  It won't happen again.

 

Until it snows again.

 

Then I make no promises.

 

Your loyal employee,

Christine