I had an awesome Memorial Day weekend camping with my in-laws. They are highly cool - I can't BELIEVE I am moving so far away from them! BOOOOOO!!! Anyway, on one of the days, the three boys went fishing and I was left all alone in the camper. I promised Tom's new girlfriend Jenna that I would teach him how to be a good boyfriend for her, so to pass the time I started creating a list called "How to Treat Your Girlfriend." Then I had the brilliant idea of asking Tom and Jake's girlfriends for input as well, so I texted furiously for about an hour and the three of us came up with the list that you will find below.
Now that the list is on this blog, you can print it out and hand it to your boyfriend/husband/man-of-the-week so that he knows the rules on how to treat you. You can edit it as you wish to meet the needs of your specific relationship, but the sig-o's (significant others) of the Webb brothers have decided on the following list. Enjoy!
HOW TO TREAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND:
Compiled by the Webb Sig O’s (significant others), edited by Christine because I am married into the family so therefore I have more say on what makes it to this list.
1. She is your #1. You can’t have any other girls while you have this one. That’s sort of the point of a girlfriend – she is your FAVORITE GIRL. If she’s not, then don’t date her. Below is a list of things to give you an idea of what you should not be doing with other girls:
a. Impregnating them
b. Kissing them
c. Doing anything that can remotely be perceived as sexual (holding hands, flirting, touching them pretty much anywhere. Basically, if you wouldn’t do it to your mom, don’t do it to other girls).
d. Don’t be alone with them – this seems like a weird one, but it’s a respect thing. Don’t be alone with another girl unless you have checked with your girlfriend and she said it’s okay.
e. Saying anything bad about your girlfriend – I PROMISE you it will get back to her.
2. Pretty much in your head she should be referred to as Princess (her name). I mean, don’t actually call her that to her face – that would be weird. But you need to TREAT her like a princess, meaning:
a. ALWAYS open doors for her.
b. Offer her your jacket if she looks cold. She might say no because she’s trying to be nice, but if she still looks cold then just take off your jacket and put it around her shoulders. She’ll appreciate it. Sorry, you just have to be cold – the princess needs to stay warm.
c. Tell her how lucky you feel to be her guy.
d. Pay for her food/tickets/etc on dates EVERY time. Even if she offers to pay. If she offers to buy something supplemental, such as popcorn for a movie or dessert after dinner, that is okay.
e. Buy her presents, and if you’re tricky then buy her ones that will constantly remind her of you (e.g. bracelet – every time she looks at her hand she will think of you, or a keychain because every time she leaves the house she will be reminded of you). Give these to her at random because “you saw it and decided she had to have it.” (after all, she’s a princess, right? Sorry dude, keeping a good girlfriend gets expensive).
f. Don’t forget important dates, which include but are not limited to: her birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries, and Mothers’ Day if you get her pregnant (JK JK JK JK!!!!)
3. Don’t be scummy. My dad raised me by constantly telling me that “All men are pigs.” I’ve come to the conclusion that 95% of them are. So make sure that she knows you are in the other 5%. Not sure how to do that? Here are some pointers:
a. Physically – it might be awkward, but you have to set physical boundaries really early on in the relationship. As in, actually have a conversation and discuss them with her. You may assume you are on the same “no sex till marriage” page, but there are about 1000 baby steps in between looking at a girl and having sex with her. You need to decide how far you will go as a couple, and then you need to STICK TO THAT PLAN. This way you won’t randomly try something and she’s all “WHAT THE HECK YOU SCUMBAG!?!” See? It will save you from that. So actually have that conversation. And at a good time – e.g. not when you’re making out or even thinking about making out. Suddenly everything seems like a good idea then, but IT IS NOT. Consider that you need to be respectful of your future wife in all of your relationships – even the one with your actual future wife.
b. Don’t be mean. This might seem like, “Um, duh,” but seriously – if you’re in a relationship long enough then the girl is going to make you mad. It’s an inevitable consequence of the passage of time coupled with the fact that all girls are FREAKING CRAZY sometimes. (Sorry to disgrace my gender, but it’s true). So when she’s driving you nutso, remember to be respectful. Don’t yell or call her names. If you need a few minutes to calm down that’s fine, but never just ignore her. That is RUDE. Act like you’re in negotiations with the czar of Russia…who might set off a nuclear bomb at any moment (because that’s just how girls are sometimes). Be calm. If she’s mad at you and you don’t fight back, it gets really hard for her to fight. Just calmly discuss the situation and see if you can come to a good conclusion. If not, text/call your sister-in-law and she’ll handle it. ☺
c. Don’t say anything bad about her friends or family – it will get you in trouble every time. Even if she does. She’s allowed to complain about them, but you are not. Weird rules, I know – sorry. I didn’t make these up.
d. Don’t drop the “L-Bomb” unless you are going to marry her. You don’t want to say “I love you” to multiple girls in your lifetime. As my grandpa always said, “You only fall in love – true love – once. So don’t go messing up the word by throwing it around at people who don’t deserve it.”
4. Be yourself, but don’t be just “a guy.” Guys have stereotypes. Some of them might fit you, some of them might not. But here are the top things that bug girls about guys, so if you can avoid them then try your hardest. But if they are a core of your personality…whatever. Apparently she likes you enough to date you, so don’t change yourself too much.
a. Talking about your feelings is okay. If you went up to a guy friend and sighed, “Dude, I’m having a really crappy day – can I tell you all about how this is making me feel?” he might laugh awkwardly and punch you. But if you say that to a girl, she will take it as a sign that you trust her enough to be vulnerable with her. Sharing your feelings is some weird breaking of guy code, but you are not dating a guy. You are dating a girl. So tell her how you feel about stuff.
b. A relationship is about more than sexual stuff. Until you get married – then it’s all sex all the time (HA HA JUST KIDDING!!! JUST TRYING TO DISTURB YOU A LITTLE!!). Guys are stereotypically always trying to push boundaries and are the ones initiating physical stuff. Just…don’t. You’ll make her get annoyed with you. Plus, flirting goes both ways. If you’re always the pursuer, then you just look like a man-whore and she’ll be all, “WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM?!” Reinforce the idea that your brain is in your HEAD, not your pants. Sorry to be crude. But whatever.
c. Be dynamic. Liking hunting, fishing, tractors, dogs, and other manly things frequently found in country songs is COOL, and she will appreciate that fact that she is dating a manly man, but don’t let that be your only identity. Make sure that you invest time in seeing what kinds of things she likes to do too, and do those things with her. I mean, if you’re dating a cool girl she might like some of your “manly” things, but I promise she likes some girly things too. Girls like to feel girly – give them a chance to do that.
d. Don’t be messy. Boys always seem to be messy. If you are eating with her, have good manners (don’t text at the table, don’t spill your food, don’t put dirty utensils back on the table, have a napkin in your lap, etc.). Act like a gentleman – not a caveman.
e. Don’t be smelly. Yeah yeah yeah, you look all sexy in your baseball uniform, but you don’t smell good in it. So go home and take a shower before your date. And put on some cologne. And brush your teeth. SOMEONE’s gf has requested less bad breath.
f. Don’t talk about poop. Jokes about poop/farts/boogers are not funny. End of story.
5. Random other advice. Here are some other things that didn’t really fit into the above categories:
a. Sing to them – really odd, but girls like it when you sing. Even if you’re bad. Because they probably think you’re good. It’s a weird thing. Sing along with the radio, and then if it’s a romantic song then look over at her or put your arm around her like that song is dedicated to her.
b. Take them on creative dates – surprise dates are the BEST because then they get to look forward to it and they appreciate that you took the time to plan something special for them. Fun surprise dates include but are not limited to: scavenger hunts, dates to somewhere you’ve never been before, dates to somewhere that is OBVIOUSLY for her (e.g. a chick flick she wanted to see or something), etc.
c. Say nice things that GIRLS like. Boys like to hear “You’re hott.” Girls like to hear “You are so beautiful.” Use the word “sexy” EXTREMELY sparingly, since your relationship is not based on that (please see section 4 part b). Good adjectives to use when talking to your girl are: beautiful, elegant, stunning, gorgeous, radiant, lovely (but you risk sounding kind of British with this one), wonderful, magnificent, fantastic.
d. Ask her how you can be a better boyfriend. Even if you feel like you’re relationship is perfect, ask how you can make it better. She’ll love that you care enough to want to be better for her. Ask every few months or so. I’m married, and I still love when Rex does this. We’ve been together for almost five years. But it makes me feel like he really cares about being MY guy, and not just some random “good husband.”
e. Be fashionable at least sometimes. Under armor is great – stop wearing it every day. Make an effort to look nice for dates. I mean, you don’t have to wear a tux, but step it up a little bit. I know all Webb’s hate “preppy” looks, but unfortunately all Webb sig o’s would like to see that once in a while. So just sometimes…please?
f. Be athletic. Um, this doesn’t seem difficult for any of you. But the gf’s requested it. So keep it up – don’t get fat in the summer. They like your athlete looks.
g. NEVER, under ANY circumstances, part your hair down the middle. This was cool in 1996. Your preschool gf loved it. Your high school gf doesn’t.
h. PDA = Bad. All Sig-o’s have agreed on this one. Yes, we are your girls. No, you do not have to declare this to everyone in Meijer by trying to walk/hug at the same time. Don’t kiss us by the pizza – it’s not romantic, it’s a frozen food aisle. We know we’re sexy – just try to keep your hands off when other people are around.
So pretty much if you follow all of these…you should be in pretty good shape. At least with the current Webb Sig-o’s. I know there’s about a million and one pieces of advice here, but when it comes down to it here’s the deal: consider these things but be yourself. Your girl was attracted to YOU for a reason, so don’t become someone you’re not just to try to impress us. Out of respect for the gf’s, here are some of the ideas that did not make it onto the master list:
1. Have a fluffy dog
2. Eat a lot of chicken
3. Don’t play soccer
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
My Date With Thomas Webb
If every girl in the graduating class at Kalamazoo Christian High School kept a blog, many of them could have written a post with the same title as this one. My brother-in-law Tom has been dating around for a while...actually dating an entire clique of girls in his class, so he decided it was time to finally "settle down" and tie himself down to one single girl. WHOA! Big news. It was a good move to save himself a lot of drama. So he officially started dating this new "Jenna" person yesterday.
OBVIOUSLY, since I have no brothers and have adopted Rex's as fully mine, I had to go check this girl out. I mean, not just any girl is worthy of a Webb brother. This is how I ended up on my "date" with Tom. He wanted someone to go with him to watch Jenna's choir concert. No one in his family was jumping at the chance, so I said I would go.
We had fun talking on the way there, and we had the BRILLIANT idea of buying Jenna flowers to give to her after the concert. HUGE brownie points. Then we forgot by the time we got to the auditorium. Um...oops. We snuck in the back entrance just in time to see the band packing up and the choir getting ready to go on. PERFECT TIMING. So the choir (about 3-4 rows in front of us) got up and started walking up front. Jenna noticed Tom and waved enthusiastically, but then I saw her face get a little confused. All of a sudden it hit me - her boyfriend arrived at her concert with another girl!! Ha ha she had no idea that I am his sister-in-law! No wonder she was confused. I should have put my arm around him or something to make it even more awkward.
The choir concert got off to a scary start. They sang some Zimbabwe song that included a lot of stomping and clapping and scary yell-y music. I told Tom that I was probably going to have nightmares about it. He agreed. We decided that if the rest of the songs were going to be that weird, we would just leave, go buy the flowers we had discussed, and make it back in time for the ending.
Luckily, the concert went upwards from its scary beginning. They had a lot of good music, and they had a barbershop/beautyshop sing-off between the boys and the girls. They even sang some Glee - it was good stuff. When the concert was over, Tom and I stood up to go. He said, "Do you want to stick around for a second or do you want to head out?" STUPID QUESTION, TOM!! I OBVIOUSLY NEED TO MEET THIS GIRL. I told him that we really had no choice but to stay, seeing as he had to explain why he brought a GIRL with him to the concert. He said she probably wouldn't care. I replied that he'd obviously never had a girlfriend before.
So Tom has tied himself down to one girl, but we could not get through the lobby without flocks of gooey-eyed females tittering, "Hi Tom!" "Hey Tom!" "Thanks for coming, Tom!" When did he become such a playa playa? I have no clue. I mean, he's cool, I love him like my brother, but it's like he has drugged all girls to love him or something. It's borderline creepy.
While we were waiting for Jenna, we found her parents. Tom started nervously making small talk with them (after all, he's been dating their daughter for what - 24 hours? Awkward!). They kept throwing curious glances in my direction until I finally kicked Tom and hissed "You have to introduce me!!" He turned around and said, "Oh yeah, this is my sister-in-law Christine." They were visibly relieved that Tom was not already cheating on their daughter.
Finally we found Jenna, and she walked up with one of her best friends Julia. Now, Julia and I have a bit of history because her sister Charissa was my room mate in college, and both Julia and I were in Charissa's wedding last year. We get along great. So I did that stupid girly squeal/hug thing that girls do when they haven't seen each other in a long time. I mean, I hate it, but it's in our genes or something. Girls always do it. So I squeal-hugged Julia, saying, "Oh my goodness it's so good to see you!! You did so great tonight," etc. etc. Then I turned to Jenna, and because I'm sooooo classy, I just said, "Oh hi. You must be Jenna. Sorry, I hugged Julia because we're sort of best friends from a while back. But I just met you like...right now. So I think a handshake will have to do." Luckily she was okay with that.
I talked to Jenna for a little while after that, and she seems really cool. It may seem a bit premature to bestow girlfriend approval, but so far so good. I told Tom that I like her.
On the way home Tom and I had SO much fun discussing their relationship (which, let me remind you, is one day old). I would discuss the contents of that conversation, but I can't because both of his brothers, his sister, (and possibly his mom?) read this blog. TOM WHY DON'T YOU READ MY BLOG?! I EVEN WROTE A POST ABOUT YOU!! I should spill his secrets just because he doesn't choose to follow up on my virtual musings...but I suppose that is vindictive and cruel. Suffice it to say that it was a lot of fun, and I'm really glad I got roped into going to that concert.
Next project: arranging a quadruple date with all four Webb siblings and their significant others. It will be EPIC!
OBVIOUSLY, since I have no brothers and have adopted Rex's as fully mine, I had to go check this girl out. I mean, not just any girl is worthy of a Webb brother. This is how I ended up on my "date" with Tom. He wanted someone to go with him to watch Jenna's choir concert. No one in his family was jumping at the chance, so I said I would go.
We had fun talking on the way there, and we had the BRILLIANT idea of buying Jenna flowers to give to her after the concert. HUGE brownie points. Then we forgot by the time we got to the auditorium. Um...oops. We snuck in the back entrance just in time to see the band packing up and the choir getting ready to go on. PERFECT TIMING. So the choir (about 3-4 rows in front of us) got up and started walking up front. Jenna noticed Tom and waved enthusiastically, but then I saw her face get a little confused. All of a sudden it hit me - her boyfriend arrived at her concert with another girl!! Ha ha she had no idea that I am his sister-in-law! No wonder she was confused. I should have put my arm around him or something to make it even more awkward.
The choir concert got off to a scary start. They sang some Zimbabwe song that included a lot of stomping and clapping and scary yell-y music. I told Tom that I was probably going to have nightmares about it. He agreed. We decided that if the rest of the songs were going to be that weird, we would just leave, go buy the flowers we had discussed, and make it back in time for the ending.
Luckily, the concert went upwards from its scary beginning. They had a lot of good music, and they had a barbershop/beautyshop sing-off between the boys and the girls. They even sang some Glee - it was good stuff. When the concert was over, Tom and I stood up to go. He said, "Do you want to stick around for a second or do you want to head out?" STUPID QUESTION, TOM!! I OBVIOUSLY NEED TO MEET THIS GIRL. I told him that we really had no choice but to stay, seeing as he had to explain why he brought a GIRL with him to the concert. He said she probably wouldn't care. I replied that he'd obviously never had a girlfriend before.
So Tom has tied himself down to one girl, but we could not get through the lobby without flocks of gooey-eyed females tittering, "Hi Tom!" "Hey Tom!" "Thanks for coming, Tom!" When did he become such a playa playa? I have no clue. I mean, he's cool, I love him like my brother, but it's like he has drugged all girls to love him or something. It's borderline creepy.
While we were waiting for Jenna, we found her parents. Tom started nervously making small talk with them (after all, he's been dating their daughter for what - 24 hours? Awkward!). They kept throwing curious glances in my direction until I finally kicked Tom and hissed "You have to introduce me!!" He turned around and said, "Oh yeah, this is my sister-in-law Christine." They were visibly relieved that Tom was not already cheating on their daughter.
Finally we found Jenna, and she walked up with one of her best friends Julia. Now, Julia and I have a bit of history because her sister Charissa was my room mate in college, and both Julia and I were in Charissa's wedding last year. We get along great. So I did that stupid girly squeal/hug thing that girls do when they haven't seen each other in a long time. I mean, I hate it, but it's in our genes or something. Girls always do it. So I squeal-hugged Julia, saying, "Oh my goodness it's so good to see you!! You did so great tonight," etc. etc. Then I turned to Jenna, and because I'm sooooo classy, I just said, "Oh hi. You must be Jenna. Sorry, I hugged Julia because we're sort of best friends from a while back. But I just met you like...right now. So I think a handshake will have to do." Luckily she was okay with that.
I talked to Jenna for a little while after that, and she seems really cool. It may seem a bit premature to bestow girlfriend approval, but so far so good. I told Tom that I like her.
On the way home Tom and I had SO much fun discussing their relationship (which, let me remind you, is one day old). I would discuss the contents of that conversation, but I can't because both of his brothers, his sister, (and possibly his mom?) read this blog. TOM WHY DON'T YOU READ MY BLOG?! I EVEN WROTE A POST ABOUT YOU!! I should spill his secrets just because he doesn't choose to follow up on my virtual musings...but I suppose that is vindictive and cruel. Suffice it to say that it was a lot of fun, and I'm really glad I got roped into going to that concert.
Next project: arranging a quadruple date with all four Webb siblings and their significant others. It will be EPIC!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Sister Shopping
I have one sister - Cara. She is 15 years old. Unfortunately, I hardly ever get to see her because we live in different cities. I fear it will be even less when I move across the country. Today, though, we had some fun sister bonding time at the mall. Let me allow you to peek inside our sister bonding for a moment...we'll go store by store.
1. Victoria's Secret - We went here because Cara had a coupon for free panties. I wish I had a coupon...I'm the one who never has money for laundry! Alas, I was not that lucky. So while Cara was picking out her freebie, I started looking at the VS 2011 line of bikinis. Some of them are pretty flashy and cool, so I decided to try one on. After all, I could use a flashy new swimsuit to fit in with those Vegas girls, right? Cara came to check it out in the fitting room, and she was appalled. "Christine! You are BUSTING out of that top!!" I tried to calm her: "Cara, it's just a little bit of cleavage. It's SEXY. I have to compete with Vegas girls to be pretty now." She would not relent. "I will NOT let you buy that! You are MARRIED! Who are you trying to impress?" I defended myself: "Cara, I KNOW I am married. I just want Rex to think I'm pretty! If I wear this shiny, cleavage-y bikini, he'll be all, 'Oh Christine, you're so sexy!'" Cara rolled her eyes. "Yes he will. And so will EVERY other guy at the pool!! I'm sorry, Christine, but when you get married you reliquish all rights to sexy bikinis. I refuse to let you purchase that." So I am only allowed to wear ugly swimsuits now. Blast.
2. Stop #2 was Hollister. *shudder* Cara said, "Hey Christine! Let's check out Hollister!" I tried saying no, but she dragged me towards the scary cave-like entrance. I continued to protest. "Cara! I can't go in there! It's too scary and dark! You won't even know what you're buying!" By this time we had reached the entrance and entered the cave, so my voice level had to rise, "AND IT'S SO LOUD IN HERE! YOU CAN'T EVEN HEAR ME! AND I CAN'T SEE YOU! WHAT IF WE LOSE EACH OTHER? WHAT IF YOU BUY A 'YELLOW' SHIRT BUT IT'S ACTUALLY RED BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T SEE IT IN THIS DARKNESS? AND WHY IS THIS MUSIC SO LOUD?!" Cara turned and laughed at me. "Christine. You are so OLD." To prove I am not old, I decided to do something hip. "HEY CARA! IT'S SO LOUD IN HERE THAT IT'S LIKE A CLUB! WE COULD START A RAVE IN HERE!" *I start busting a move* Cara looked embarrassedly at the horrified customers and scream-whispered, "CHRISTINE! STOP IT! PEOPLE JUDGE YOU HERE!!" Ha ha ha! So I stopped so that my sister would stop blushing from being ashamed of me. I mean, she was probably blushing. I couldn't tell because it was too dark. We started looking at the clearance dresses, and they had some pretty cute ones. I found one I sort of liked, but they only had it in size small. I asked Cara, "Do they even carry large sizes in this store, or is everything small?" She said that they only carry smalls, and it doesn't matter anyway because I'm too old to shop there. Lame.
3. Once we left Hollister, I felt that I should find a more "age appropriate" store. I saw that The Limited was having a sale, and I could really use some more teacher clothes for next year. I started heading toward The Limited, but Cara used all of her not-very-much weight to pull on my arm and drag me away from the entrance. "No, Christine! You can't shop at The Limited! You're not THAT old!" I whirled around and started yelling in mock-anger. "I'm too old to shop at Hollister, but too young to shop at the Limited?! What do you want from me?!?!" I threw my hands up in the air, raised my voice, and started spinning in circles. "WHERE IS MY PLACE IN THIS WORLD??!!" Poor Cara, once again embarrassed, hissed, "Christine! You are creating a scene. Come on - we will find somewhere where you can shop." She dragged me away from The Limited's bright sale signs. I tried to protest. "Cara, I am a TEACHER. They have good teacher clothes! When will I be old enough to shop there?" She gave it a brief thought and then retorted with, "You can shop at The Limited when you're old enough to wear pearls and crap out money." Dang. It could be a while before I start crapping money.
4. We stopped at Zales to get my wedding ring cleaned. Finally a territory that I'm familiar with. I felt like Elizabeth Taylor when Cara said, "Hey - this blue ring is pretty - you should ask Rex for it!" I waved my hand dismissively. "Oh I already have one like that. And a ruby ring, and an emerald one too. Rex buys me all sorts of jewels." Take THAT, Cara - I am a princess in this store. She started looking at the engagement rings and picking out the prettiest ones. She started talking about one of her rich friend's moms, and said, "Christine! Her ring is huge! It's even bigger than this one! *pointing to a huge ring* And it's all one stone, too, not like those cheating rings that are made up of a bunch of smaller diamonds." I beamed with pride. "I have taught you well, sister. Never accept a cheating diamond." She assured me that she won't.
5. We left the jewelry store and headed to Burlington Coat Factory. They were having a sale on summer dresses - hooray! I need some new dresses to wear in Nevada. I tried on a bunch, and I found a really light flowy one that was 100% comfortable and would be perfect for scorching weather. And it was only $19.99! I gave myself one more smile and a flowy spin in the dressing room mirror, and then I stepped out to show it off to Cara. She burst out laughing. I put my hands on my hips and pouted. "Really? I thought it was cute! And it's SOOOOOO comfortable!" Cara stopped laughing long enough to say, "But those COLORS! They're AWFUL! It looks like someone puked McDonalds all over you!" Obviously I couldn't buy the dress after it had been described as McDonalds puke, so I sadly put it back. Perhaps it was for the best - Cara is quite the fashionista these days and knows what's in and what's out. I could have made the mistake of being the walking pile of vomit, but no worries: CRISIS AVERTED.
So I left the mall without buying a single thing, but I didn't walk away with nothing at all. I walked away with some memories of a great time with my sister, and I can't wait to hang out with her again. We definitely don't do this often enough. She's pretty highly cool.
1. Victoria's Secret - We went here because Cara had a coupon for free panties. I wish I had a coupon...I'm the one who never has money for laundry! Alas, I was not that lucky. So while Cara was picking out her freebie, I started looking at the VS 2011 line of bikinis. Some of them are pretty flashy and cool, so I decided to try one on. After all, I could use a flashy new swimsuit to fit in with those Vegas girls, right? Cara came to check it out in the fitting room, and she was appalled. "Christine! You are BUSTING out of that top!!" I tried to calm her: "Cara, it's just a little bit of cleavage. It's SEXY. I have to compete with Vegas girls to be pretty now." She would not relent. "I will NOT let you buy that! You are MARRIED! Who are you trying to impress?" I defended myself: "Cara, I KNOW I am married. I just want Rex to think I'm pretty! If I wear this shiny, cleavage-y bikini, he'll be all, 'Oh Christine, you're so sexy!'" Cara rolled her eyes. "Yes he will. And so will EVERY other guy at the pool!! I'm sorry, Christine, but when you get married you reliquish all rights to sexy bikinis. I refuse to let you purchase that." So I am only allowed to wear ugly swimsuits now. Blast.
2. Stop #2 was Hollister. *shudder* Cara said, "Hey Christine! Let's check out Hollister!" I tried saying no, but she dragged me towards the scary cave-like entrance. I continued to protest. "Cara! I can't go in there! It's too scary and dark! You won't even know what you're buying!" By this time we had reached the entrance and entered the cave, so my voice level had to rise, "AND IT'S SO LOUD IN HERE! YOU CAN'T EVEN HEAR ME! AND I CAN'T SEE YOU! WHAT IF WE LOSE EACH OTHER? WHAT IF YOU BUY A 'YELLOW' SHIRT BUT IT'S ACTUALLY RED BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T SEE IT IN THIS DARKNESS? AND WHY IS THIS MUSIC SO LOUD?!" Cara turned and laughed at me. "Christine. You are so OLD." To prove I am not old, I decided to do something hip. "HEY CARA! IT'S SO LOUD IN HERE THAT IT'S LIKE A CLUB! WE COULD START A RAVE IN HERE!" *I start busting a move* Cara looked embarrassedly at the horrified customers and scream-whispered, "CHRISTINE! STOP IT! PEOPLE JUDGE YOU HERE!!" Ha ha ha! So I stopped so that my sister would stop blushing from being ashamed of me. I mean, she was probably blushing. I couldn't tell because it was too dark. We started looking at the clearance dresses, and they had some pretty cute ones. I found one I sort of liked, but they only had it in size small. I asked Cara, "Do they even carry large sizes in this store, or is everything small?" She said that they only carry smalls, and it doesn't matter anyway because I'm too old to shop there. Lame.
3. Once we left Hollister, I felt that I should find a more "age appropriate" store. I saw that The Limited was having a sale, and I could really use some more teacher clothes for next year. I started heading toward The Limited, but Cara used all of her not-very-much weight to pull on my arm and drag me away from the entrance. "No, Christine! You can't shop at The Limited! You're not THAT old!" I whirled around and started yelling in mock-anger. "I'm too old to shop at Hollister, but too young to shop at the Limited?! What do you want from me?!?!" I threw my hands up in the air, raised my voice, and started spinning in circles. "WHERE IS MY PLACE IN THIS WORLD??!!" Poor Cara, once again embarrassed, hissed, "Christine! You are creating a scene. Come on - we will find somewhere where you can shop." She dragged me away from The Limited's bright sale signs. I tried to protest. "Cara, I am a TEACHER. They have good teacher clothes! When will I be old enough to shop there?" She gave it a brief thought and then retorted with, "You can shop at The Limited when you're old enough to wear pearls and crap out money." Dang. It could be a while before I start crapping money.
4. We stopped at Zales to get my wedding ring cleaned. Finally a territory that I'm familiar with. I felt like Elizabeth Taylor when Cara said, "Hey - this blue ring is pretty - you should ask Rex for it!" I waved my hand dismissively. "Oh I already have one like that. And a ruby ring, and an emerald one too. Rex buys me all sorts of jewels." Take THAT, Cara - I am a princess in this store. She started looking at the engagement rings and picking out the prettiest ones. She started talking about one of her rich friend's moms, and said, "Christine! Her ring is huge! It's even bigger than this one! *pointing to a huge ring* And it's all one stone, too, not like those cheating rings that are made up of a bunch of smaller diamonds." I beamed with pride. "I have taught you well, sister. Never accept a cheating diamond." She assured me that she won't.
5. We left the jewelry store and headed to Burlington Coat Factory. They were having a sale on summer dresses - hooray! I need some new dresses to wear in Nevada. I tried on a bunch, and I found a really light flowy one that was 100% comfortable and would be perfect for scorching weather. And it was only $19.99! I gave myself one more smile and a flowy spin in the dressing room mirror, and then I stepped out to show it off to Cara. She burst out laughing. I put my hands on my hips and pouted. "Really? I thought it was cute! And it's SOOOOOO comfortable!" Cara stopped laughing long enough to say, "But those COLORS! They're AWFUL! It looks like someone puked McDonalds all over you!" Obviously I couldn't buy the dress after it had been described as McDonalds puke, so I sadly put it back. Perhaps it was for the best - Cara is quite the fashionista these days and knows what's in and what's out. I could have made the mistake of being the walking pile of vomit, but no worries: CRISIS AVERTED.
So I left the mall without buying a single thing, but I didn't walk away with nothing at all. I walked away with some memories of a great time with my sister, and I can't wait to hang out with her again. We definitely don't do this often enough. She's pretty highly cool.
Monday, May 16, 2011
What a Beautiful E-Mail
Dear Christine E Webb
You have been approved for a Michigan Provisional Teaching Certificate by the Michigan Department of Education (MDE), Office of Professional Preparation Services (OPPS). You should receive the certificate within the next 7 to 14 business days.
Office of Professional Preparation Services (OPPS)
Michigan Department of Education
P.O. Box 30008
Lansing, MI 48909
You have been approved for a Michigan Provisional Teaching Certificate by the Michigan Department of Education (MDE), Office of Professional Preparation Services (OPPS). You should receive the certificate within the next 7 to 14 business days.
Office of Professional Preparation Services (OPPS)
Michigan Department of Education
P.O. Box 30008
Lansing, MI 48909
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Getting Old
Today I discovered that I am getting old.
The first warning sign was when I got a letter inviting me to join AARP. American Association of Retired People?! I mean, I just accepted my first big-girl job! Let's take life one step at a time, okay?!
Disgusted with the fact that society has deemed me old enough to be an AARP member, I decided to get back to my main activity for the day: bird watching. Then I considered the irony of this fact, and decided that maybe AARP had a secret list of people who are bird watching...a list that would probably be 95% actual AARP candidates. So I forgave them for the letter and went back to my elderly activity.
You may scoff at my bird watching, but first of all - it's not like I have a lot of stuff I have to do. I graduated, finished my internship, found a job and an apartment in Nevada, and now I am enjoying the last few days of living out at our lake. The best part about the lake right now is that all of the water fowl (except for the swans) have had their babies!! I am still waiting on one swan's nest, but we have a duck family with nine ducklings and a goose family with six goslings who are consistently splashing around in the part of the lake by our apartment. They are SO FUN to watch! I know I anthropomorphize animals way too much, but it is so much fun to try to decide what they are thinking. For example, all nine baby ducklings do EXACTLY what their mommy duck does. If she is cleaning her feathers, they all start picking at their fluffy bodies. One time she put her head under her wing to take a nap, and INSTANTLY all nine ducklings did the same thing. Except then one of them decided he wasn't actually tired, and poked his head up as if to say, "Guys? Hello? Does anyone want to play?" He started poking around at his siblings, and they would peek out from under their stubby "wings" just long enough to shoot him a glare (yes, ducklings can glare) that said, "DON'T YOU SEE MOMMY IS NAPPING?! WE HAVE TO SLEEP NOW!" Ha ha... Every day she walks them over to a tiny part where the lake has flooded over into the grass, making a tiny pond/puddle area. It looks like a mom taking kids to a community swimming pool. A few times a day she walks them over (where they obediently follow in single file), and then she stands at the edge of the pond/puddle while all of the babies jump in. The swim and splash around for a few minutes, and then the mom duck quacks and turns around. Instantly all of the baby ducks line up again and follow their mom single file back to the nest. It is so cute!
The duck family and goose family don't really get along. I'm not sure what would happen if they actually interacted, but as soon as the geese start to come by the mom duck immediately herds all nine of her babies into the nest and then sits on them. It's actually really good camouflage! I watched her do this, and had I not physically watched her go into the underbrush and sit still, I don't think I would have seen her at all. The goose family definitely didn't. As soon as they waddled by, the mom duck waited for another minute and then stood up. Instantly nine yellow poofs poked out from under her belly as if to say, "Is it safe, Mom? Can we play now? Please? Let's go back to that pool again." It was so cute. I really wish I could have a baby duck. Watching these birds is making it hard for me to leave this awesome place, but I'm sure new adventures await in Nevada. I suppose I will have to put my bird watching habit on hold for a few decades until I become an actual old person. The "new adventures" don't start until we move, though, so until then you can find me sitting on my porch watching the baby birds.
The babies following Mama
Playing in the "pool"
The Goose Family
The first warning sign was when I got a letter inviting me to join AARP. American Association of Retired People?! I mean, I just accepted my first big-girl job! Let's take life one step at a time, okay?!
Disgusted with the fact that society has deemed me old enough to be an AARP member, I decided to get back to my main activity for the day: bird watching. Then I considered the irony of this fact, and decided that maybe AARP had a secret list of people who are bird watching...a list that would probably be 95% actual AARP candidates. So I forgave them for the letter and went back to my elderly activity.
You may scoff at my bird watching, but first of all - it's not like I have a lot of stuff I have to do. I graduated, finished my internship, found a job and an apartment in Nevada, and now I am enjoying the last few days of living out at our lake. The best part about the lake right now is that all of the water fowl (except for the swans) have had their babies!! I am still waiting on one swan's nest, but we have a duck family with nine ducklings and a goose family with six goslings who are consistently splashing around in the part of the lake by our apartment. They are SO FUN to watch! I know I anthropomorphize animals way too much, but it is so much fun to try to decide what they are thinking. For example, all nine baby ducklings do EXACTLY what their mommy duck does. If she is cleaning her feathers, they all start picking at their fluffy bodies. One time she put her head under her wing to take a nap, and INSTANTLY all nine ducklings did the same thing. Except then one of them decided he wasn't actually tired, and poked his head up as if to say, "Guys? Hello? Does anyone want to play?" He started poking around at his siblings, and they would peek out from under their stubby "wings" just long enough to shoot him a glare (yes, ducklings can glare) that said, "DON'T YOU SEE MOMMY IS NAPPING?! WE HAVE TO SLEEP NOW!" Ha ha... Every day she walks them over to a tiny part where the lake has flooded over into the grass, making a tiny pond/puddle area. It looks like a mom taking kids to a community swimming pool. A few times a day she walks them over (where they obediently follow in single file), and then she stands at the edge of the pond/puddle while all of the babies jump in. The swim and splash around for a few minutes, and then the mom duck quacks and turns around. Instantly all of the baby ducks line up again and follow their mom single file back to the nest. It is so cute!
The duck family and goose family don't really get along. I'm not sure what would happen if they actually interacted, but as soon as the geese start to come by the mom duck immediately herds all nine of her babies into the nest and then sits on them. It's actually really good camouflage! I watched her do this, and had I not physically watched her go into the underbrush and sit still, I don't think I would have seen her at all. The goose family definitely didn't. As soon as they waddled by, the mom duck waited for another minute and then stood up. Instantly nine yellow poofs poked out from under her belly as if to say, "Is it safe, Mom? Can we play now? Please? Let's go back to that pool again." It was so cute. I really wish I could have a baby duck. Watching these birds is making it hard for me to leave this awesome place, but I'm sure new adventures await in Nevada. I suppose I will have to put my bird watching habit on hold for a few decades until I become an actual old person. The "new adventures" don't start until we move, though, so until then you can find me sitting on my porch watching the baby birds.
The babies following Mama
Playing in the "pool"
The Goose Family
Saturday, May 7, 2011
A Tribute
They say that diamonds are a girl's best friend. They only say that because not enough girls have given rats a chance. If more girls had rats as pets, it might be an entirely different phrase.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I love diamonds - it's just that my rat Cindy was a better friend than any chunk of sparkly rock.
Cindy was the best four legged friend I've ever had (which, if you know my family's pet history, you would know that this is a significant statement). I got her after learning I would be transferring to Western (which I never did). I was scared that I wouldn't have any friends because most of them are away at school, so in a rash decision I picked up a rodent cage from the "free" pile of a closing garage sale. I took it straight to PetSmart and, when the lady said, "How I can I help you?" I replied, "I would like a pet for this cage." That is the day that my love of rats was born.
Since that day, my love of rats has spread to my husband, my sister, my brother-in-law, my friends Katie and Thea, Rex's cousin Joe, my sister's friend Morgan, my parents, Rex's parents, and many others. All because of this sweet little girl rat named Cinderella. Her ashes gray fur inspired her name, but it turned into a series of a million nicknames: Cindy, Cinders, Cindy-Lou-Who (around Christmas), Cinders-Linders, Cinders-cuteness, and Princess of cute.
You may laugh, but she really was a spoiled princess if there ever was a royal rat. She had two birthday parties, all the toys and treats she could dream of, sneak licks of my brownie batter and sometimes a bite of my cinnamon toast crunch in the morning when I was eating breakfast. I taught her a few tricks, and she was even a "special guest" in my class a few different times!
Even with everything I have ever given Cindy, she has given me immeasurably more. When I decided to go back to MSU instead of Western, I had my own room for a semester while my roommate was studying abroad in Ecuador. Cindy was my illegal roommate in the dorm. Every day when I would get home from class (and every day until the day she died), as soon as I walked into the room she would JUMP onto the bars of her cage, smiling at me as if to say, "Hooray! You're here!! Finally! I missed you! Can we play now?! Please?!?" And of course I would play with her. Because she was my best friend.
If you think I'm making it up about Cindy being happy to see me, you obviously never met Cindy (and therefore I feel sorry for you). She had an entire spectrum of emotions. Whenever I walked into the room she would be happy and cheerful. If I was sad, though, she would instantly look sad as well as if to say, "What's wrong, Mom?" If I was crying, she would LITERALLY climb up onto me, stand on my chest, put her paws on my face, and lick off my tears. Then she would sit down in my lap and let me pet her until I felt better, even though it was obvious that she would rather be running around and playing. I don't know how much rats are capable of love, but if they are then I would say that she loved me.
It wasn't all love all the time, though! Cindy sure could have an attitude if she was mad at me. If I was playing with the cat instead of her, if I (GASP!) took her to the vet, or if I didn't give her as many treats as Houdini (Rex's rat), she would give me the cold shoulder and GLARE (rats can glare - I promise) at me until she decided I was worthy of her playfulness again and then she would come back out to play (generally about five minutes later).
Rex got a rat too, so we bred them and Cindy became a mom! She had ten beautiful babies, and one of her descendants still lives with my little sister. She was a great mom. She had her babies at 4 AM on an otherwise normal night in October. I was woken by a tiny squeak coming from the cage, one I knew was too small to be Cindy, so I rushed over and called into her hut/nest: "Cindy! Girl! Is it time?! Are you okay?" She poked out just her head to look at me, and she had the proudest look on her face that I have ever seen on anyone (animal or human). She was SO happy and SO proud of herself! It was fun raising those babies with her (so I was now harboring 11 illegal rats in my dorm), and by the time they were old enough to sell they were climbing all over her and the cage. She would look at me every day as if "Please. Can they go now? They're driving me crazy." Ha ha! I think she was happy when it was once again just her and I.
Cindy was SO smart, too. I would let her run around my dorm room, and when it was time to put her back in her cage I would just say, "Cinders! Come here!" and she would come running. I taught her to jump through a hoop, run in circles around my arms, and how to play tag. Tag was the MOST fun. I would take her out to play, and I would start "running" with my hand around the bed, floor, or wherever we were playing. She would run around and try to catch my hand, and whenever she caught it she would rest her mouth on my hand and then look up expectantly to say, "HA! I WIN! Can I have a treat?"
I already miss her like crazy, which I know is pathetic - but it's true. She died peacefully in her sleep while sleeping in her favorite hut. With an average rat lifespan of 1-2 years, Cindy was closing in on three so I suppose it was just her time. Still, the world lost a little piece of sunshine. I'm not sure of my beliefs on animals in heaven - they don't have souls, so logically I have been leaning towards the idea that there aren't any there. Still, it hasn't stopped me from praying all day, "God? You know how you're preparing a place for me? I don't mean to be selfish...but can Cindy be there? Please? I think Heaven would be a lot more fun if she was there. And it's hard for me to think I'll never see her again, so...please? Do you think you could make an exception to the animal rule (if there is one) and let her hang out? You'll like her - I promise." She's the best.
And she really, really is. Bye Cindy - thanks for always being there for me. I miss you already. I love you, and I promise you'll never be forgotten.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Last Day
Friday was the last day of my internship. I can hardly believe that it's over!! I already miss my kids like crazy...I've been acting depressed all weekend. This morning I said, "Rex! I used to make a difference in childrens' lives on a daily basis! Now I am finished! Useless! There is no reason to even get out of bed in the morning!" Clearly I am having some separation issues.
They did, as I suspected, throw me a surprise party. It was really sweet. It made me cry - not in front of them, though, since everyone tells teachers to NEVER cry in front of their students. But the party was outside, and after hearing some of what they had to say and getting some of their presents, I said I had to go back to the classroom for something and just SOBBED. I am SO sad to be leaving them. I love those kids so much! I wrote a goodbye letter to them, and I passed it out but also read it out loud. Then I suddenly got the feeling that I was attending my own funeral: EVERYONE was crying. Even some of my football players! I couldn't decide if it was one of the best days or one of the worst days of my life. I felt SO loved, but I am going to miss them so much. Rather than go on and on about how sad I am to be gone, I figure I will give you a small sampling of what they gave me on my last day. A bunch of them had presents and cards, and some of them wrote me "letters of recommendation" to take with me to my job interviews next week. AHHH!!! SO CUTE! I love them - have I ever mentioned that? So - here are a few of the things I got (I'm not going to write everything because it would take forever), and where I say any names, please note that names have been changed:
Gifts:
1. $160 gift card to Eastwood Town Center (classwide effort)
2. Giftcards to Biggby and the Teacher's Center
3. A "Note Box" - this was my favorite! A girl painted a box for me that says "note box" on the top. She said, "It's for you to put all of the notes in that you confiscate next year from your new class! And, just so you'll remember us, everyone who you ever confiscated a note from in our class signed the back." And they had!! Isn't that so cute!? I love it.
4. A chalkboard and multicolored chalk
5. A framed picture of five of my girls making REALLY goofy faces
6. Lots of lotion/shower gel/other good smelling stuff.
7. Books
8. Flamingo salt and pepper shakers. YES!
Here are a couple of my favorite notes:
Dear Webbini,
I love you. I love you very much. I love you lots. I love you enough to write you a GOODBYE poem!
You're super good with drama llama
Will you be my baby mama?
You're super rad!
You deserve an ipad!
(but I don't have that kind of money, sunny).
You have rat type ferrets
And once you use our presents
You won't smell like them too. (JK JK!)
You're super weird, but I will miss your magical beard
(even though you don't have one, hun)
Too bad you can't flirt with other guys
I guess this means you're a turd.
Goodbye!
From,
Janelle
Dear Mrs. Webb,
We'll miss you, but I'll miss you the most. You're the best teacher I had. You make your time special. You get excited about boring things, but you're special. But I don't want you to leave - you're funny, awesome, and cool to be around.
Sincerely,
Eileen
Dear Mrs. Webb,
I hope you have fun in Vegas and have fun teaching. I loved the cheesy videos - thank you so much for teaching me all of the things I've learned from you. I don't love you so much like Henry does, but I do love you - I found it inside me and you're the best teacher ever.
Sincerely,
Will
Dear Mrs. Webb (#1 Teacher),
I had a great year with you! You are amazing and I bet you a MILLION DOLLARS that your next class will love you to pieces! Because I know I did! And I am heartbroken to see you leave. And I'm not lying when I say this...you were my favorite teacher EVER!!! Shhhhhh! Don't tell Mr. Hyde, holmes! Ha ha! But seriously...you were my favorite teacher. Thank you for making me smarter!
P.S. Tell Rex I said hello!
Love,
Madison
Goodbye Mrs. Webb
I will miss you with all my heart. Hope you have a good time in Las Vegas, but don't gamble too much!
*picture of raining money*
Love,
Celeste
Dear Mrs. Webb,
I am so sad that you're leaving! :-( But also I am so glad that you've finally got a new apartment, you're going to be an actual teacher, and you got your degree! YAY! Another thing I'm sad about is no one in the class is going to have an adult to share their feelings with anyone anymore, because by far you're the only adult that can keep a secret! Anyways WE'LL MISS YOU TERRIBLY!
Sincerely,
Your former student Ellie
P.S. I hope your kids in your new classroom aren't cooler than us!
Mrs. Webb,
You are my lady
I love you, baby.
I can't believe you're leaving.
Don't do too much gambling.
You know all of my drama llama,
One time I almost called you mama.
You like rats. I don't, really.
When you sing, it sounds silly.
I love you!
Dee
Dear Mrs. Webb,
You are the best teacher I've ever had and I've had 8 - that's saying a lot. When you go we will lose the best teacher but the kids in Las Vegas will get the best teacher and the best experience in the world. You should keep teaching sixth grade because then you can teach the same curriculum like the number line dance and you can use the same cheesy jokes. I love how you're so excited for the language arts curriculum. Why didn't you become a journalist or something?
Betsy
Mrs. Webb,
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! And after you leave here there will be no teacher that understands drama llama the way you do. You remind me of Lady GaGa because you are crazy and strange and weird, but all in a GREAT way! Mrs. Webb, I hope you like Vegas. Do a lot of gambling for me and good luck at the slot machine!
You were an awesomely great FANTASTIC teacher Mrs. Webb! You are definitely my favorite teacher of all time and ALWAYS will be.
Love,
Pat
Dear Mrs. Webb,
You make me smile when you teach. You're funny, smart, and you make learning fun (which I thought would never happen). You make me want to stay in for recess because it's soooooo fun with you. We had our ups and downs, sideways and loopty loops, but I think you're the best teacher in the world. You will get an amazing job in LV. You rock.
Sincerely,
Henry
P.S. Don't spend too much money in a casino.
Here are a couple of my "letters of recommendation:"
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is the best, funniest, understanding teacher I've ever had. She never disappoints with any lesson. She's more than a teacher...she's like a young mother. She makes a subject go from boring to fun with her cheesy jokes and videos to her funny dances. It always puts a smile on our face when we make Mrs. Webb laugh. Mrs. "Webbini" is a perfect teacher.
We're Mrs. Webb's children, so whenever we get a little naughty we get a consequence. Which means less minutes for recess. But that power equals COOLNESS which means RESPECT. Mrs. Webb has the ability to connect and understand her students at a whole different level. She gets our personalities, and that is one of her best qualities.
We all love Mrs. Webb, but we loved her even more when she announced that she was gonna make a drama club for our school. She taught us great things that I will never forget and she was cool enough to do a play at the end of Drama Club.
Mrs. Webb's teaching, coolness, laughter, and her ability to understand her students will not be forgot.
Sincerely,
Jalin
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is an amazing teacher. Any student would be lucky to have her for a teacher. She is fun and and very energetic. you can tell that she loves working with kids.
Mrs. Webb created DRAMA CLUB for my school. And brought in guest speakers for Language Arts. She has made school even more enjoyable for me and my classmates.
Sincerely,
Sarah
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is a very enthusiastic person. She puts the fun in "school." Although she may be goofy, she is serious about teaching and learning. To help us learn, she shows us cheesy videos about the topics we're learning about. Mrs. Webb has taught many subjects, she's always been happy and put a smile on our faces. Mrs. Webb is probably one of the best teachers ever!
Sincerely,
Sidney
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is a super duper teacher. She is a really cool person, she makes learning fun. She's always excited and enthusiastic - she comes to school ready to have fun. She brought in a special guest like a ELPD detective and Adventure Man Dan. She is awesome.
She will make you laugh. She is always happy, almost never sad, and in times of distress she was always calm. Please accept this recommendation.
Sincerely,
Quentin
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is the best teacher you will ever meet. She makes learning so fun that she makes kids that hate school want to come to school. I mean, she even invented drama club!
I think the best part about Mrs. Webb is that she is funny and exciting. I even remember the time she talked to everyone in the class about their feelings which really helped me and a whole bunch of other people. Anyways, if you hire Mrs. Webb you better be ready for a fun loving, good, enthusiastic, happy, drama club startin teacher!
Sincerely,
Emma
P.S. You won't find anyone better than her.
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is the most amazing teacher in the whole world. She does SO much for us, and she is so committed to her job. Mrs. Webb is by FAR my favorite teacher. She developed tight, personal relationships with all of her students. She made learning extremely fun in an effective way. Mrs. Webb cares about us SO much and I can truly say that I love her. If you hire Mrs. Webb, it will be a very smart and wise decision.
Sincerely,
Polly
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is a great teacher. Mrs. Webb always has a smile on her face. Mrs. Webb always makes boring projects into very fun projects. You should have Mrs. Webb as a teacher at your school because she is the best teacher in the world.
Sincerely,
Mike
Wow....sorry this post was SO long! I guess picking out a "few favorites" turned into a lot of favorites. Oh well. Can you see why I love them so much?! I will miss them a ton. But now, if my apartment burns down or something, I have this blog to remind me that my students liked me this year. :-) If I die tomorrow, at least I can die knowing I made a difference SOMEWHERE in the world. Next stop: Las Vegas.
They did, as I suspected, throw me a surprise party. It was really sweet. It made me cry - not in front of them, though, since everyone tells teachers to NEVER cry in front of their students. But the party was outside, and after hearing some of what they had to say and getting some of their presents, I said I had to go back to the classroom for something and just SOBBED. I am SO sad to be leaving them. I love those kids so much! I wrote a goodbye letter to them, and I passed it out but also read it out loud. Then I suddenly got the feeling that I was attending my own funeral: EVERYONE was crying. Even some of my football players! I couldn't decide if it was one of the best days or one of the worst days of my life. I felt SO loved, but I am going to miss them so much. Rather than go on and on about how sad I am to be gone, I figure I will give you a small sampling of what they gave me on my last day. A bunch of them had presents and cards, and some of them wrote me "letters of recommendation" to take with me to my job interviews next week. AHHH!!! SO CUTE! I love them - have I ever mentioned that? So - here are a few of the things I got (I'm not going to write everything because it would take forever), and where I say any names, please note that names have been changed:
Gifts:
1. $160 gift card to Eastwood Town Center (classwide effort)
2. Giftcards to Biggby and the Teacher's Center
3. A "Note Box" - this was my favorite! A girl painted a box for me that says "note box" on the top. She said, "It's for you to put all of the notes in that you confiscate next year from your new class! And, just so you'll remember us, everyone who you ever confiscated a note from in our class signed the back." And they had!! Isn't that so cute!? I love it.
4. A chalkboard and multicolored chalk
5. A framed picture of five of my girls making REALLY goofy faces
6. Lots of lotion/shower gel/other good smelling stuff.
7. Books
8. Flamingo salt and pepper shakers. YES!
Here are a couple of my favorite notes:
Dear Webbini,
I love you. I love you very much. I love you lots. I love you enough to write you a GOODBYE poem!
You're super good with drama llama
Will you be my baby mama?
You're super rad!
You deserve an ipad!
(but I don't have that kind of money, sunny).
You have rat type ferrets
And once you use our presents
You won't smell like them too. (JK JK!)
You're super weird, but I will miss your magical beard
(even though you don't have one, hun)
Too bad you can't flirt with other guys
I guess this means you're a turd.
Goodbye!
From,
Janelle
Dear Mrs. Webb,
We'll miss you, but I'll miss you the most. You're the best teacher I had. You make your time special. You get excited about boring things, but you're special. But I don't want you to leave - you're funny, awesome, and cool to be around.
Sincerely,
Eileen
Dear Mrs. Webb,
I hope you have fun in Vegas and have fun teaching. I loved the cheesy videos - thank you so much for teaching me all of the things I've learned from you. I don't love you so much like Henry does, but I do love you - I found it inside me and you're the best teacher ever.
Sincerely,
Will
Dear Mrs. Webb (#1 Teacher),
I had a great year with you! You are amazing and I bet you a MILLION DOLLARS that your next class will love you to pieces! Because I know I did! And I am heartbroken to see you leave. And I'm not lying when I say this...you were my favorite teacher EVER!!! Shhhhhh! Don't tell Mr. Hyde, holmes! Ha ha! But seriously...you were my favorite teacher. Thank you for making me smarter!
P.S. Tell Rex I said hello!
Love,
Madison
Goodbye Mrs. Webb
I will miss you with all my heart. Hope you have a good time in Las Vegas, but don't gamble too much!
*picture of raining money*
Love,
Celeste
Dear Mrs. Webb,
I am so sad that you're leaving! :-( But also I am so glad that you've finally got a new apartment, you're going to be an actual teacher, and you got your degree! YAY! Another thing I'm sad about is no one in the class is going to have an adult to share their feelings with anyone anymore, because by far you're the only adult that can keep a secret! Anyways WE'LL MISS YOU TERRIBLY!
Sincerely,
Your former student Ellie
P.S. I hope your kids in your new classroom aren't cooler than us!
Mrs. Webb,
You are my lady
I love you, baby.
I can't believe you're leaving.
Don't do too much gambling.
You know all of my drama llama,
One time I almost called you mama.
You like rats. I don't, really.
When you sing, it sounds silly.
I love you!
Dee
Dear Mrs. Webb,
You are the best teacher I've ever had and I've had 8 - that's saying a lot. When you go we will lose the best teacher but the kids in Las Vegas will get the best teacher and the best experience in the world. You should keep teaching sixth grade because then you can teach the same curriculum like the number line dance and you can use the same cheesy jokes. I love how you're so excited for the language arts curriculum. Why didn't you become a journalist or something?
Betsy
Mrs. Webb,
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! And after you leave here there will be no teacher that understands drama llama the way you do. You remind me of Lady GaGa because you are crazy and strange and weird, but all in a GREAT way! Mrs. Webb, I hope you like Vegas. Do a lot of gambling for me and good luck at the slot machine!
You were an awesomely great FANTASTIC teacher Mrs. Webb! You are definitely my favorite teacher of all time and ALWAYS will be.
Love,
Pat
Dear Mrs. Webb,
You make me smile when you teach. You're funny, smart, and you make learning fun (which I thought would never happen). You make me want to stay in for recess because it's soooooo fun with you. We had our ups and downs, sideways and loopty loops, but I think you're the best teacher in the world. You will get an amazing job in LV. You rock.
Sincerely,
Henry
P.S. Don't spend too much money in a casino.
Here are a couple of my "letters of recommendation:"
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is the best, funniest, understanding teacher I've ever had. She never disappoints with any lesson. She's more than a teacher...she's like a young mother. She makes a subject go from boring to fun with her cheesy jokes and videos to her funny dances. It always puts a smile on our face when we make Mrs. Webb laugh. Mrs. "Webbini" is a perfect teacher.
We're Mrs. Webb's children, so whenever we get a little naughty we get a consequence. Which means less minutes for recess. But that power equals COOLNESS which means RESPECT. Mrs. Webb has the ability to connect and understand her students at a whole different level. She gets our personalities, and that is one of her best qualities.
We all love Mrs. Webb, but we loved her even more when she announced that she was gonna make a drama club for our school. She taught us great things that I will never forget and she was cool enough to do a play at the end of Drama Club.
Mrs. Webb's teaching, coolness, laughter, and her ability to understand her students will not be forgot.
Sincerely,
Jalin
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is an amazing teacher. Any student would be lucky to have her for a teacher. She is fun and and very energetic. you can tell that she loves working with kids.
Mrs. Webb created DRAMA CLUB for my school. And brought in guest speakers for Language Arts. She has made school even more enjoyable for me and my classmates.
Sincerely,
Sarah
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is a very enthusiastic person. She puts the fun in "school." Although she may be goofy, she is serious about teaching and learning. To help us learn, she shows us cheesy videos about the topics we're learning about. Mrs. Webb has taught many subjects, she's always been happy and put a smile on our faces. Mrs. Webb is probably one of the best teachers ever!
Sincerely,
Sidney
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is a super duper teacher. She is a really cool person, she makes learning fun. She's always excited and enthusiastic - she comes to school ready to have fun. She brought in a special guest like a ELPD detective and Adventure Man Dan. She is awesome.
She will make you laugh. She is always happy, almost never sad, and in times of distress she was always calm. Please accept this recommendation.
Sincerely,
Quentin
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is the best teacher you will ever meet. She makes learning so fun that she makes kids that hate school want to come to school. I mean, she even invented drama club!
I think the best part about Mrs. Webb is that she is funny and exciting. I even remember the time she talked to everyone in the class about their feelings which really helped me and a whole bunch of other people. Anyways, if you hire Mrs. Webb you better be ready for a fun loving, good, enthusiastic, happy, drama club startin teacher!
Sincerely,
Emma
P.S. You won't find anyone better than her.
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is the most amazing teacher in the whole world. She does SO much for us, and she is so committed to her job. Mrs. Webb is by FAR my favorite teacher. She developed tight, personal relationships with all of her students. She made learning extremely fun in an effective way. Mrs. Webb cares about us SO much and I can truly say that I love her. If you hire Mrs. Webb, it will be a very smart and wise decision.
Sincerely,
Polly
To whom it may concern,
Mrs. Webb is a great teacher. Mrs. Webb always has a smile on her face. Mrs. Webb always makes boring projects into very fun projects. You should have Mrs. Webb as a teacher at your school because she is the best teacher in the world.
Sincerely,
Mike
Wow....sorry this post was SO long! I guess picking out a "few favorites" turned into a lot of favorites. Oh well. Can you see why I love them so much?! I will miss them a ton. But now, if my apartment burns down or something, I have this blog to remind me that my students liked me this year. :-) If I die tomorrow, at least I can die knowing I made a difference SOMEWHERE in the world. Next stop: Las Vegas.
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