I'm not pregnant, and I would really be okay with never being pregnant ever. A lot of my friends have decided to have kids recently, and GREAT for them. That's fabulous. It's a great excuse for me to buy baby clothes and throw fun parties. For some reason, though, a lot of my facebook/blogfriends have decided to share a little too much of their pregnancies with me. I think (think) that maybe pregnant women and new moms spend a lot of time showing various doctors and people a lot of private areas, so privacy isn't that big of a deal any more. I'm writing myself this letter just in case I ever get pregnant, so I can remind myself what's okay and what's not to share with my non-mom friends who really don't understand the pregnancy world:
Dear Me,
Okay, let's start this off with conceiving the baby. Your friends don't want to hear about it. They don't want to hear about the positions that work best for making children. They don't want to hear about "the night" that you think your baby was conceived. We all took sex ed - we know what happened. You don't have to elaborate.
Please don't post pictures online of any body parts that you would not normally post pictures of. People don't want to see your bare stomach, especially with pregnancy stretch marks. Stretch marks scare the non-moms into swearing off procreation. They don't want to see your boobs as you breast feed for the first time, because that whole situation is just foreign and weird. They don't want to see you parading around in a bra and underwear because you're "proud of your changing body." Don't get me wrong - it's great that you're comfortable with your changing body (although you're Christine, so let's be real - you probably won't be). It's just that your facebook friends don't want to see these things.
Maternity photos can be okay, as long as they don't break any of the aforementioned rules, and as long as they don't look like this: http://www.awkwardmaternityphotos.com/
I understand that lots of body changes take place during this "magical" time. You can get hemorrhoids, have horrible flatulence, have weird secretions, and a host of other unpleasant side effects. Your friends really, really don't want to hear about them. Actually, your doctor probably doesn't even want to hear about them, but at least they're getting paid to listen to your graphic descriptions.
Hospital pictures can be super cute, but could you please clean off your baby first? I know that you think your new baby is the cutest thing in the world (and you're Christine, so let's be real - it probably will be), but your friends don't want to see it all covered in placental goo like an alien. It takes away from the cute factor. Also, bloody hospital sheets are kind of gross. Bascially, if the picture could be in a horror film or a science fiction film, don't put it on your facebook.
This should get you off to a good start in your social media sharing of your new baby. Run all questionable elements by Rex, as his low gross-tolerance for lady issues will be a good thermometer of what can be shared. When in doubt, leave it out.
Good luck with the baby thing...
Christine
Monday, April 21, 2014
Thursday, April 17, 2014
SuperRex
Rex is so cool.
I mean, we all knew he was awesome, but last night I was so proud of him that I just have to blog-brag about it. Here's how the situation went down:
Rex was at a softball practice for a team that he's on with his brother Tom. Tom was up to bat, and when he swung the bat his toe got somehow stuck. His upper body twisted, but his lower body didn't. That's obviously not great. Rex was watching the ball, but then he noticed that Tom was on the ground. Eeek! The guys playing asked Tom if he was okay, but Tom just groaned. The guys started to crowd around him, and Rex ran out onto the field.
*cue triumphant superhero music*
Rex told the guys huddled around Thomas to move aside, and he bent down to look at Tom's leg. His kneecap had become completely dislocated and was on the side of his leg, causing obvious pain. The guys were going to call an ambulance, but because Rex is SO COOL, they didn't have to because Rex had the whole situation under control. He explained to Tom about the procedure he was about to do, then manually straightened out his leg (OW) and realigned the kneecap to its proper position. Whaaaaaat?? Who just knows how to do that!? My husband, that's who.
So Tom didn't have to go to the hospital and didn't even have to go to the doctor (cuz my husband is the doctor - wooot!), and as of this morning he could walk with minimal pain. Whoa! Why can't I have awesome skills like that? No one's ever going to be like, "This kid can't read - QUICK! WHERE'S A TEACHER?!?!"
Obviously I'm not glad that Tom got hurt, but I sure am glad that Rex was there to fix him. That night could have been much worse. None of the guys on the team knew Rex is getting his doctorate of physical therapy in May, though (besides Tom), so I'm sure they were all thinking, "What the heck is this guy doing?!" Ha ha. Rex is too humble sometimes, so I'll just brag for him. My husband rocks. I'm so proud to be Mrs. Webb.
I mean, we all knew he was awesome, but last night I was so proud of him that I just have to blog-brag about it. Here's how the situation went down:
Rex was at a softball practice for a team that he's on with his brother Tom. Tom was up to bat, and when he swung the bat his toe got somehow stuck. His upper body twisted, but his lower body didn't. That's obviously not great. Rex was watching the ball, but then he noticed that Tom was on the ground. Eeek! The guys playing asked Tom if he was okay, but Tom just groaned. The guys started to crowd around him, and Rex ran out onto the field.
*cue triumphant superhero music*
Rex told the guys huddled around Thomas to move aside, and he bent down to look at Tom's leg. His kneecap had become completely dislocated and was on the side of his leg, causing obvious pain. The guys were going to call an ambulance, but because Rex is SO COOL, they didn't have to because Rex had the whole situation under control. He explained to Tom about the procedure he was about to do, then manually straightened out his leg (OW) and realigned the kneecap to its proper position. Whaaaaaat?? Who just knows how to do that!? My husband, that's who.
So Tom didn't have to go to the hospital and didn't even have to go to the doctor (cuz my husband is the doctor - wooot!), and as of this morning he could walk with minimal pain. Whoa! Why can't I have awesome skills like that? No one's ever going to be like, "This kid can't read - QUICK! WHERE'S A TEACHER?!?!"
Obviously I'm not glad that Tom got hurt, but I sure am glad that Rex was there to fix him. That night could have been much worse. None of the guys on the team knew Rex is getting his doctorate of physical therapy in May, though (besides Tom), so I'm sure they were all thinking, "What the heck is this guy doing?!" Ha ha. Rex is too humble sometimes, so I'll just brag for him. My husband rocks. I'm so proud to be Mrs. Webb.
Friday, April 11, 2014
Crime-Free Campus
I've been on St. Olaf's campus less than twenty-four hours, and I'm already totally blown away. This campus is so strange, but in an awesome way. They all trust each other. Like, totally trust each other. Check out these facts that I wouldn't believe if I hadn't seen them myself:
1. No one locks their dorm rooms. Ever. Each door remains unlocked. For a comparison...at MSU we locked our laptops to our desks, and then also locked our dorm rooms. And I wasn't even just being paranoid...that's what everyone did.
2. Each student has a mailbox by the front desk, and none of them are locked.
3. When students go to the cafeteria, they leave their backpacks outside until they're done eating.
4. Erin had a test today, and the professors don't go to class on test days. They leave the tests, students pick them up and take them, and they're on the "honor system" to not cheat. When they're finished with the tests, they hand them in. That's it. No authority figures in the room at any point.
5. In the libraries and cafes, students frequently leave their laptops, purses, etc. on tables while they go walk around or even run back to their room to get something. I told Erin that's super strange, and she didn't get it. Why wouldn't people feel totally comfortable leaving their valuables out in the open around hundreds of college students?
6. There are community bathrooms on each floor, and each girl leaves her shower caddy with all of her shampoos, conditioners, loofahs, etc on the floor in the bathroom. When it's time to take a shower, she just grabs her caddy and uses it, then puts it back in the row with everyone else's.
6. We're going out to a fancy dinner tonight, and Erin couldn't find something to wear. She went into one of her friend's rooms (none of them are locked, remember?), and she grabbed a dress out of her closet. I was kind of surprised and said, "Shouldn't you ask...?" She replied, "No, all the girls on this floor just share clothes. We have an understanding about it, and we all use everyone else's stuff. It's like having one really huge closet! We just make sure everyone has their own stuff back at the end of the semester." Oh, okay. Because that's totally normal...
7. I asked Erin if there was ever any crime on campus. She said, "Not crime, exactly.....but campus security did send an e-mail warning us to be on the lookout for feral cats...." Stray cats are the biggest problem on this campus. WHOA - get me out of this unsafe location!
It's a really cool community...one that I would have bet doesn't exist on college campuses anymore. I hope it stays like that...but I also hope that the students don't think that real life is like that, because unfortunately, it isn't. :-(
1. No one locks their dorm rooms. Ever. Each door remains unlocked. For a comparison...at MSU we locked our laptops to our desks, and then also locked our dorm rooms. And I wasn't even just being paranoid...that's what everyone did.
2. Each student has a mailbox by the front desk, and none of them are locked.
3. When students go to the cafeteria, they leave their backpacks outside until they're done eating.
4. Erin had a test today, and the professors don't go to class on test days. They leave the tests, students pick them up and take them, and they're on the "honor system" to not cheat. When they're finished with the tests, they hand them in. That's it. No authority figures in the room at any point.
5. In the libraries and cafes, students frequently leave their laptops, purses, etc. on tables while they go walk around or even run back to their room to get something. I told Erin that's super strange, and she didn't get it. Why wouldn't people feel totally comfortable leaving their valuables out in the open around hundreds of college students?
6. There are community bathrooms on each floor, and each girl leaves her shower caddy with all of her shampoos, conditioners, loofahs, etc on the floor in the bathroom. When it's time to take a shower, she just grabs her caddy and uses it, then puts it back in the row with everyone else's.
6. We're going out to a fancy dinner tonight, and Erin couldn't find something to wear. She went into one of her friend's rooms (none of them are locked, remember?), and she grabbed a dress out of her closet. I was kind of surprised and said, "Shouldn't you ask...?" She replied, "No, all the girls on this floor just share clothes. We have an understanding about it, and we all use everyone else's stuff. It's like having one really huge closet! We just make sure everyone has their own stuff back at the end of the semester." Oh, okay. Because that's totally normal...
7. I asked Erin if there was ever any crime on campus. She said, "Not crime, exactly.....but campus security did send an e-mail warning us to be on the lookout for feral cats...." Stray cats are the biggest problem on this campus. WHOA - get me out of this unsafe location!
It's a really cool community...one that I would have bet doesn't exist on college campuses anymore. I hope it stays like that...but I also hope that the students don't think that real life is like that, because unfortunately, it isn't. :-(
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Minnesota Road Trip!
Spring Break 2014 - MINNESOTA, BABY!!
Okay, I admit - perhaps Minnesota isn't the most exciting location on the globe. It's the most exiting location I could afford on this year's budget, though, so here I am. Specifically, I'm sitting in a dorm room at St. Olaf college, reminiscing about the parts of college I miss (the great friends you make on the floor, the collegiate atmosphere of ivy-covered walls, yummy food with no dishes to do) and also remembering the parts that I don't miss (community showers!!). My sister and I are visiting my cousin Erin, and she's in class so we're chilling in her room.
Our road trip yesterday was fairly fabulous. Cara and I drove almost nine hours to get here, and most of it was through the nothingness that is middle America. Think lots of fields and red barns and occasional cow farms. At one point, when Cara was driving, she could see about a mile in front of her and a mile behind her, but there were no cars either way. Therefore she decided to start weaving in and out of lanes and driving like a general crazy person "just because she could." Eeeeeek! She's lucky there were no cops hiding behind the hay bales, or she would have gotten pulled over for sure. Here are some of the highlights (and lowlights) of the trip.
1. I took a nap, and when I woke up Cara was driving on some random back country roads (we were about a half hour from our destination at this point). Suddenly she said, "Ummm...Christine? Do you see a gas station?" No, I didn't see a gas station, because there usually aren't gas stations in the middle of corn fields. My dorky sister had forgotten to stop for gas, and we were running on empty with the gas light on. Oh brother. She stopped at an intersection and told me to find the nearest gas station by using my phone (she left the car running while she stopped at the intersection, which I found funny and told her to turn it off). I abandoned the GPS directions that were taking us to Erin's, and I typed in the nearest gas station. It was over five miles away. That doesn't sound like much, but when the gas light is already on and you don't see civilization anywhere near you... It was a bit disconcerting. Luckily, we made it. Phew!
2. At the gas station, I went in to use the bathroom. I saw an ad that said "Lambs for sale!" and had a phone number to tear off at the bottom. OBVIOUSLY I had to take a number. I went to the car and said, "Hey Cara, let's get a sheep to take home!" She was fully on-board (because we're siblings and we agree on the important things in life like sheep adoption). I called the number, and the following is an approximation of the conversation that ensued:
Al: Hello! This is Al's Farm Shop - Al speaking!" (he had a really jolly voice, like if a 40-year-old Santa Claus owned a farm shop)
*background noise* BAAAAAAA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAA!! (It seriously sounded like the sheep were right next to the phone)
Me: Oh, um, hello Al. I found your number at the Marathon station, and it says that you're selling lambs. Is that correct?
Al: Yup! You got it! What kind of lambs are you looking for? We have (list of about ten different things that I assume are sheep types, none of which sound familiar).
Me: Wow, uh.... I don't know exactly what type I want.
Al: Well, what do you want the sheep for? A local herd? A 4H project?
*background noise* BAAAAAAA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Me: Um, more of just....a pet sheep.
Al: Great! We have plenty of pet sheep! I would suggest (random name of some type of sheep) because they tend to have very cheerful dispositions and positive attitudes.
Me: Cool. A friendly sheep would be great. How much are they, and do you have a minimum number that must be purchased?
Al: Our minimum is one. It gets a little messy if you try to buy less than one...
Me: Ha ha! Okay, no, one is good. I would like a whole sheep. How much are they?
*background noise* BAAAAAAA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Al: That specific type starts at $200, but I don't have any that will be ready until May.
Me: Bummer! I will talk to my husband, and perhaps I will call you back.
Al: Great! I'm always here! Call anytime!
Aw Al... so jolly. I really wanted to buy a sheep. That would have been so epic.
3. As we were driving through the tiny town of Northfield (if you blink you'll miss it), we saw that the local high school had a baseball game going on. I said, "Cara! Check it out! Let's go watch some baseball!" So we pulled over and went to watch the baseball game. We cheered for random players and pretended that we knew them. Some of the parents looked at us kind of strangely (it was a really small town, so maybe they knew we didn't really go there...). It was fun watching high school baseball, but we didn't stay till the end of the game because we were burning daylight and had to get to Erin's. Alas.
4. At certain points in the trip, we got the weirdest radio stations. At one point we could only pick up one station on the FM bandwidth, and it was all in Spanish. Why is there only a Spanish station in rural Minnesota is what I'd like to know. Later we finally picked up another station, one that talked of farm reports and called itself "Corn Country." We hung out on that station for a while, seeing as we could at least understand it.
It was a really fun trip, and we finally rolled into town at around 8 PM Minnesota time. We had a great girls' night last night, and now we're waiting for Erin to get out of class so we can go to the Mall of America. Woo hooo!
Okay, I admit - perhaps Minnesota isn't the most exciting location on the globe. It's the most exiting location I could afford on this year's budget, though, so here I am. Specifically, I'm sitting in a dorm room at St. Olaf college, reminiscing about the parts of college I miss (the great friends you make on the floor, the collegiate atmosphere of ivy-covered walls, yummy food with no dishes to do) and also remembering the parts that I don't miss (community showers!!). My sister and I are visiting my cousin Erin, and she's in class so we're chilling in her room.
Our road trip yesterday was fairly fabulous. Cara and I drove almost nine hours to get here, and most of it was through the nothingness that is middle America. Think lots of fields and red barns and occasional cow farms. At one point, when Cara was driving, she could see about a mile in front of her and a mile behind her, but there were no cars either way. Therefore she decided to start weaving in and out of lanes and driving like a general crazy person "just because she could." Eeeeeek! She's lucky there were no cops hiding behind the hay bales, or she would have gotten pulled over for sure. Here are some of the highlights (and lowlights) of the trip.
1. I took a nap, and when I woke up Cara was driving on some random back country roads (we were about a half hour from our destination at this point). Suddenly she said, "Ummm...Christine? Do you see a gas station?" No, I didn't see a gas station, because there usually aren't gas stations in the middle of corn fields. My dorky sister had forgotten to stop for gas, and we were running on empty with the gas light on. Oh brother. She stopped at an intersection and told me to find the nearest gas station by using my phone (she left the car running while she stopped at the intersection, which I found funny and told her to turn it off). I abandoned the GPS directions that were taking us to Erin's, and I typed in the nearest gas station. It was over five miles away. That doesn't sound like much, but when the gas light is already on and you don't see civilization anywhere near you... It was a bit disconcerting. Luckily, we made it. Phew!
2. At the gas station, I went in to use the bathroom. I saw an ad that said "Lambs for sale!" and had a phone number to tear off at the bottom. OBVIOUSLY I had to take a number. I went to the car and said, "Hey Cara, let's get a sheep to take home!" She was fully on-board (because we're siblings and we agree on the important things in life like sheep adoption). I called the number, and the following is an approximation of the conversation that ensued:
Al: Hello! This is Al's Farm Shop - Al speaking!" (he had a really jolly voice, like if a 40-year-old Santa Claus owned a farm shop)
*background noise* BAAAAAAA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAA!! (It seriously sounded like the sheep were right next to the phone)
Me: Oh, um, hello Al. I found your number at the Marathon station, and it says that you're selling lambs. Is that correct?
Al: Yup! You got it! What kind of lambs are you looking for? We have (list of about ten different things that I assume are sheep types, none of which sound familiar).
Me: Wow, uh.... I don't know exactly what type I want.
Al: Well, what do you want the sheep for? A local herd? A 4H project?
*background noise* BAAAAAAA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Me: Um, more of just....a pet sheep.
Al: Great! We have plenty of pet sheep! I would suggest (random name of some type of sheep) because they tend to have very cheerful dispositions and positive attitudes.
Me: Cool. A friendly sheep would be great. How much are they, and do you have a minimum number that must be purchased?
Al: Our minimum is one. It gets a little messy if you try to buy less than one...
Me: Ha ha! Okay, no, one is good. I would like a whole sheep. How much are they?
*background noise* BAAAAAAA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Al: That specific type starts at $200, but I don't have any that will be ready until May.
Me: Bummer! I will talk to my husband, and perhaps I will call you back.
Al: Great! I'm always here! Call anytime!
Aw Al... so jolly. I really wanted to buy a sheep. That would have been so epic.
3. As we were driving through the tiny town of Northfield (if you blink you'll miss it), we saw that the local high school had a baseball game going on. I said, "Cara! Check it out! Let's go watch some baseball!" So we pulled over and went to watch the baseball game. We cheered for random players and pretended that we knew them. Some of the parents looked at us kind of strangely (it was a really small town, so maybe they knew we didn't really go there...). It was fun watching high school baseball, but we didn't stay till the end of the game because we were burning daylight and had to get to Erin's. Alas.
4. At certain points in the trip, we got the weirdest radio stations. At one point we could only pick up one station on the FM bandwidth, and it was all in Spanish. Why is there only a Spanish station in rural Minnesota is what I'd like to know. Later we finally picked up another station, one that talked of farm reports and called itself "Corn Country." We hung out on that station for a while, seeing as we could at least understand it.
It was a really fun trip, and we finally rolled into town at around 8 PM Minnesota time. We had a great girls' night last night, and now we're waiting for Erin to get out of class so we can go to the Mall of America. Woo hooo!
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Barbie Party
After the worst winter on record (10 snow days and it's not spring yet!), I think I'm starting to go a little batty. It's like I don't even remember what it feels like to go outside and not shiver. The ground in Kalamazoo has been consistently snow-covered since December 9. It's March 15. So really, it should be completely understandable that I have started doing some crazy things. It's because I'm going a little crazy.
Last week, I realized that it had been a while since I'd had a good girls' night. Every girl needs a girls' night once in a while, just like every guy needs to do man things like hunt and change the oil on his trucks. (Excuse the extreme sexism in that comment. I'm going crazy, remember?) So anyway, I was thinking about throwing a girls' night, and I stumbled upon a news article that said this week marks the 55th anniversary of the first Barbie doll's release. Wow! How cool! Obviously that was a great choice for a girls' night theme - Happy Birthday to Barbie.
I sent out some invitations, and my girlfriends and I got together last night to celebrate Barbie's birthday. It was a ton of fun. Each girl brought a Barbie (or a Barbie-themed item) to donate to kids at the Gospel Mission, so actually this party did something good for society in addition to just being a lot of fun. Two-for-one party! Rex was in charge of decorations - he had entirely too much fun with the pink streamers. He left before the guests arrived, though, because it was a girls-only event. He begged and begged to stay and play Barbie games with us, but I had to remain firm and just told him that no, he wasn't invited.
Okay, I actually made up that last part. He definitely didn't want to stay, citing the "estrogen-rich" environment I was creating. He really did set up the streamers, though!
The games we played were Barbie trivia (did you know Barbie has had eighty careers and has been represented in forty-five nationalities?) and a Barbie fashion show game, where teams had to dress a Barbie mermaid (the dollar store didn't have normal Barbies) in clothes made entirely out of construction paper. Then we texted pictures of the outfits to my dad for judging. Unlike Rex, my dad actually did want to come to the party, ha ha. If you know my dad, you know I'm telling the truth. This was our way of including him.
As a joke, I projected the Barbie Dream House television show on my wall so that when people walked in, they were greeted with five foot tall Barbies dancing around. I found it on Netflix. We actually ended up watching this show for a little while because...it's hilarious. If you have Netflix, go watch it. It makes no sense. Barbie's horse plays the piano, her evil closet will lock her inside if she's not fashionable enough, and she unpacks her entire house out of a suitcase. It's really something.
Anyway, here are a few pictures from the night. Thanks to everyone who came!
This was the wall where we projected the Barbie movie (as well as Miss Congeniality later in the night). Having a projector to use whenever I want is a definite teacher perk.
This is the outfit Sara and I created.
This is the outfit Beth and Jula created. My dad said it looked like she was about to serve egg rolls, ha ha.
This is the outfit that Charissa and Sarah created. I especially like the added touch of the pet rabbit (even though she's totally strangling it).
Here's the back of that dress - so cool!
Here is the cake I baked. I was pretty proud of it. You can't see it from the picture, but the pink frosting is actually make with edible glitter. It was sparkly. So girly and fabulous.
Here are the awesome ladies who came! (We took turns taking the picture). Sara (no H) isn't pictured because she had to come late. What a good-looking group!
It was a fun night with a weird-yet-awesome party theme. I had a good time with it. If you think I'm nuts, blame it on the weather and not on the fact that I secretly never outgrew Barbie dolls...even though that may or may not be true. ;-)
Friday, March 7, 2014
My Day as a Rock Star
Today I was a "guest author" at a Young Author's Day in Grand Haven. It was so much fun! I don't really have anything witty or funny to say in this post, but I need to post it anyway so that when I'm having a bad day and thinking I'm a total loser, I can come back to this post and remember that I'm not.
I knew the day was going to be fun as soon as I walked into the school where it was held. I was literally four steps through the door when a girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you the author of The Elsie Files?" Yes... Her mom wanted to know how she knew me, and the girl said, "Her picture's on the back of her book, so I recognized her!" Whoa - I'm recognizable by a random kid? Add 5 cool points to whatever my score was before today. Another girl came up and nervously asked if she could take my picture, like I was a Disneyland character or something. I mean...okay, yes you can take my picture. Your parents are going to wonder who the heck I am, though.
Unbeknownst to me, many of the teachers at this school had done novel studies of my book before I came to speak to the kids. Therefore the kids didn't know that my book is a random obscure children's novel that hasn't even sold 1,000 copies. To them, I may as well have been J.K. Rowling. They thought I was so cool. When the principal announced me, they cheered like crazy. It was among the weirdest experiences of my life (but still really awesome!). Like, wait, you're cheering for me? Is Justin Bieber standing behind me or something? No? Oh, then that must really be for me. Strange.
I had been so nervous about my presentation, but the kids were so amped that I probably could have just stood up there and answered questions the whole time and they wouldn't have cared. They were so into it. There's a picture of Elvis in my presentation, and as soon as it was put up one of the kids said, "Hey! That's your dog Elvis!" I cannot adequately convey the simultaneous creepiness and awesomeness of the fact that the kids already knew my dog's name. And my husband's name. And my rats' names. One kid thought my husband was secretly Justin Verlander (the pitcher for the Detroit Tigers), but I unfortunately had to bust his conspiracy theory.
The teachers were so appreciative of my being there, too. When I arrived in the morning they had a breakfast set out for me (WHAT?) and a reusable tote gift bag full of goodies to welcome me to their school and to say thanks for coming. Mind you, I was already getting paid to be there, so none of this was necessary! They were so kind! One teacher had her class do book reports on my book in the weeks leading up to this, and they bound them in a beautiful binder to give me as a gift to say thanks for coming. You basically NEED to see what these third graders thought of Elsie (and how they illustrated my book). It's fabulous. That binder is definitely going in the "keep forever" pile.
Probably my favorite part of the day, though, was after the presentation, after meeting the kids, and after my book signing. Just as I was about to start packing up, this shy kid came up to my table. He was holding a copy of my book, and I could tell he was nervous. I said hi and smiled at him to try to make him feel better, and this is what he said to me:
"Hi...ummm... I just want to meet you, and...ummm.... I just wanted to know that, um, your book is my favorite book that I ever read in my whole life."
Melt. My. Heart.
If I die tomorrow, I still feel like my life was a success because I wrote a kid's favorite book. That's a pretty cool thing. So what if he was, like, eight and he'll probably choose a new favorite book next week? I don't care. I could tell that he really meant what he said to me. I helped a kid like reading a little better because of something I wrote. That feeling is seriously priceless.
Basically, it was a really good day. When I feel like I'm a total loser and wasting my life, I need to remember how I felt today and know that I actually made a difference somewhere, even if was just to make a couple hundred kids in my Grand Haven fan club feel excited about reading. :-)
I knew the day was going to be fun as soon as I walked into the school where it was held. I was literally four steps through the door when a girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you the author of The Elsie Files?" Yes... Her mom wanted to know how she knew me, and the girl said, "Her picture's on the back of her book, so I recognized her!" Whoa - I'm recognizable by a random kid? Add 5 cool points to whatever my score was before today. Another girl came up and nervously asked if she could take my picture, like I was a Disneyland character or something. I mean...okay, yes you can take my picture. Your parents are going to wonder who the heck I am, though.
Unbeknownst to me, many of the teachers at this school had done novel studies of my book before I came to speak to the kids. Therefore the kids didn't know that my book is a random obscure children's novel that hasn't even sold 1,000 copies. To them, I may as well have been J.K. Rowling. They thought I was so cool. When the principal announced me, they cheered like crazy. It was among the weirdest experiences of my life (but still really awesome!). Like, wait, you're cheering for me? Is Justin Bieber standing behind me or something? No? Oh, then that must really be for me. Strange.
I had been so nervous about my presentation, but the kids were so amped that I probably could have just stood up there and answered questions the whole time and they wouldn't have cared. They were so into it. There's a picture of Elvis in my presentation, and as soon as it was put up one of the kids said, "Hey! That's your dog Elvis!" I cannot adequately convey the simultaneous creepiness and awesomeness of the fact that the kids already knew my dog's name. And my husband's name. And my rats' names. One kid thought my husband was secretly Justin Verlander (the pitcher for the Detroit Tigers), but I unfortunately had to bust his conspiracy theory.
The teachers were so appreciative of my being there, too. When I arrived in the morning they had a breakfast set out for me (WHAT?) and a reusable tote gift bag full of goodies to welcome me to their school and to say thanks for coming. Mind you, I was already getting paid to be there, so none of this was necessary! They were so kind! One teacher had her class do book reports on my book in the weeks leading up to this, and they bound them in a beautiful binder to give me as a gift to say thanks for coming. You basically NEED to see what these third graders thought of Elsie (and how they illustrated my book). It's fabulous. That binder is definitely going in the "keep forever" pile.
Probably my favorite part of the day, though, was after the presentation, after meeting the kids, and after my book signing. Just as I was about to start packing up, this shy kid came up to my table. He was holding a copy of my book, and I could tell he was nervous. I said hi and smiled at him to try to make him feel better, and this is what he said to me:
"Hi...ummm... I just want to meet you, and...ummm.... I just wanted to know that, um, your book is my favorite book that I ever read in my whole life."
Melt. My. Heart.
If I die tomorrow, I still feel like my life was a success because I wrote a kid's favorite book. That's a pretty cool thing. So what if he was, like, eight and he'll probably choose a new favorite book next week? I don't care. I could tell that he really meant what he said to me. I helped a kid like reading a little better because of something I wrote. That feeling is seriously priceless.
Basically, it was a really good day. When I feel like I'm a total loser and wasting my life, I need to remember how I felt today and know that I actually made a difference somewhere, even if was just to make a couple hundred kids in my Grand Haven fan club feel excited about reading. :-)
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Blogmopolitan Quiz
My friend Elle just sent me a "Blogmopolitan Quiz." It's basically like those chain e-mails from junior high that were like "do you choose Coke or Pepsi?" or "vanilla or chocolate?" and everyone loved filling them out about themselves and declaring to the world their love for "roses or daisies." As if anyone actually cared. Alas, I was in junior high. I don't think anyone should be held accountable for things they did between the ages of 10 and 13.
But, for nostagia's sake, I'm going to fill out this Blogmopolitan Quiz. Enjoy, and feel free to fill it out yourself if you're a blogger too!
NAME: Christine Webb
BUT I WISH MY NAME WAS: Hazel, because then my name growing up would have been "Hazel Knasel."
MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE IS: Poor grammar. But don't worry, I only correct my students and my husband. I think people who randomly correct other people are tacky.
THE FIRST THING I DO WHEN I WAKE UP IS: Hit the snooze button a bunch of times, then jump out of bed and think, "CRAP! I'm late again!"
I LOVE THE FACT THAT: Michigan State won the Rose Bowl this year. Also that Rex graduates in less than three months.
IF THE WORLD ENDED TOMORROW I WOULD: Try to tell a lot of people about Jesus tonight.
I WOULD MARRY/DID MARRY THE FIRST MAN WHO: Didn't get freaked out that my dad was cleaning his guns when he came over.
TO LIVE FULLY IS TO: Love what you do.
IT'S BEEN A BIG CHALLENGE: To support Rex through school for the past four years.
I WILL KISS YOU IF: Your name is Rex Lee Webb II. Or if you're less than a year old and just too adorable to resist. Or if you're a puppy of any kind.
I WILL CUT YOU IF: You're choking and need an emergency tracheotomy.
IF NO ONE WOULD EVER FIND OUT, I WOULD: Be in that play that my school said I can't be in because there's a show on Sunday.
MY BEST FRIEND IS: Rexo.
I DESPISE: Comma errors. Also mushrooms.
I'D BE ONE HAPPY CAMPER IF: Scholastic would buy my book.
MY FAVORITE FOOD WOULD BE SOMETHING: Either Mexican or Italian. Possibly both. Has anyone fully investigated the idea of a spaghetti taco?
I STARTED BLOGGING BECAUSE: Ummm...whoa. I actually have no idea. Let me go back to my first post ever and check.
*checking...*
Okay. I apparently started because I was in college and was bored. You can read my first-ever blog post HERE). That was over four years ago. Wow.
So there you have it, friends. My Blogmopolitan Quiz. Now you know everything you ever wanted to know about me. In case there's something I didn't cover, leave any further questions in the comment box, and I will get to them in my next post. Thanks for being loyal readers - especially those of you who have been reading for all four years. Bravo. You win the "best friend ever" awards.
But, for nostagia's sake, I'm going to fill out this Blogmopolitan Quiz. Enjoy, and feel free to fill it out yourself if you're a blogger too!
NAME: Christine Webb
BUT I WISH MY NAME WAS: Hazel, because then my name growing up would have been "Hazel Knasel."
MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE IS: Poor grammar. But don't worry, I only correct my students and my husband. I think people who randomly correct other people are tacky.
THE FIRST THING I DO WHEN I WAKE UP IS: Hit the snooze button a bunch of times, then jump out of bed and think, "CRAP! I'm late again!"
I LOVE THE FACT THAT: Michigan State won the Rose Bowl this year. Also that Rex graduates in less than three months.
IF THE WORLD ENDED TOMORROW I WOULD: Try to tell a lot of people about Jesus tonight.
I WOULD MARRY/DID MARRY THE FIRST MAN WHO: Didn't get freaked out that my dad was cleaning his guns when he came over.
TO LIVE FULLY IS TO: Love what you do.
IT'S BEEN A BIG CHALLENGE: To support Rex through school for the past four years.
I WILL KISS YOU IF: Your name is Rex Lee Webb II. Or if you're less than a year old and just too adorable to resist. Or if you're a puppy of any kind.
I WILL CUT YOU IF: You're choking and need an emergency tracheotomy.
IF NO ONE WOULD EVER FIND OUT, I WOULD: Be in that play that my school said I can't be in because there's a show on Sunday.
MY BEST FRIEND IS: Rexo.
I DESPISE: Comma errors. Also mushrooms.
I'D BE ONE HAPPY CAMPER IF: Scholastic would buy my book.
MY FAVORITE FOOD WOULD BE SOMETHING: Either Mexican or Italian. Possibly both. Has anyone fully investigated the idea of a spaghetti taco?
I STARTED BLOGGING BECAUSE: Ummm...whoa. I actually have no idea. Let me go back to my first post ever and check.
*checking...*
Okay. I apparently started because I was in college and was bored. You can read my first-ever blog post HERE). That was over four years ago. Wow.
So there you have it, friends. My Blogmopolitan Quiz. Now you know everything you ever wanted to know about me. In case there's something I didn't cover, leave any further questions in the comment box, and I will get to them in my next post. Thanks for being loyal readers - especially those of you who have been reading for all four years. Bravo. You win the "best friend ever" awards.
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