Life is surprising. Period, end of story. Sometimes surprises are good, and sometimes surprises are bad. Sometimes they are big, and sometimes they are little. But they are always there.
Right now I am thinking about big surprises - life changing ones. But whenever I hear about a big, life-changing surprise in someone's life, I always think of the little, otherwise forgotten moments that preceded them. Like the woman who is happily singing in the shower and suddenly notices a lump in her breast, or the high schooler chatting on the phone about boys before she pulls into the intersection and doesn't see the semi coming. Or they could be good surprises, like a girl brushing her hair for an average night out and not realizing that a diamond ring will be hers before the date is over. Or those people who are all grungy and eating their cheerios when suddenly the sweepstakes people show up at their door and give them a million dollars.
Well, I think I might have had a moment like that last night. I was innocently on my computer working on a unit plan. I was contemplating how to best get sixth graders pumped up about reading mysteries when my phone rang.
Thinking it was going to be a totally normal phone call, I picked up with a cheery "Hello?" which was followed a few seconds later with, "Umm...oh my goodness..."
And I was faced with a big surprise a VERY difficult decision.
I haven't yet figured out if this is going to be one of those good life changing surprises or bad ones. It could really go either way. Maybe it won't even turn out to be life changing at all. All I know is that I have this giant decision to make, and I haven't been able to think of anything else all day. I've been completely scatterbrained; my kids were probably wondering what the dickens was wrong with me. Any time I try to do my homework it goes completely haywire...it's like I have stress-induced ADD. To be working on a mystery unit is completely ironic, what with this huge question mark dangling in front of me.
Sorry to blog about this without giving more information on the decision, but I really don't want to say anything about it until the decision has been made. Pretty much I just wanted to blog to see if I could possibly form cohesive thoughts in an informal format (in hopes I might be able to do so in a more formal format on my homework). I don't think I am being very successful. Blah.
I guess I will go play with the kitten again. My professors are going to kill me.
P.S. Just because I feel like some people may wonder, this surprise has NOTHING to do with a baby. I feel like that is the number one thing people ask about if I am ever stressed/surprised/excited/upset about something in life, even if that solution makes no sense in the situation at hand. ARE YOU PREGNANT?? ARE YOU PREGNANT?? ARE YOU PREGNANT?? ARE YOU PREGNANT?? No. I am not pregnant. I will never BE pregnant. We have been over this. So that is not the issue. Ever.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
4th Annual Corn Shenanigans
Every year, Campus Crusade throws a huge party in the fall called the "Barn Bash." Rex and I have attended this party every year. With a HUGE two story barn, hundreds of people dancing, cider and donuts galore, and everyone dressed in farm-ish clothes, could there BE a better way to celebrate the coming of fall?? No.
The first year that Rex and I went to the Barn Bash, we talked to our friend Lynn and decided it would be a fun idea to go run through the corn field across from the barn and creep each other out in the dark, crisp, spooky air. It was a BLAST, and we decided that we must make it a tradition. So far, we have continued our corn tradition each year. With this being our fourth (and possibly final) year at the Barn Bash, we had to make our corn run super extra fun and exciting.
Well, we were certainly not let down.
Our corn team has grown over the years. While we still had the core from year one (Rex, Lynn, and I), we also added Larsen (Lynn's boyfriend), Katie Masters (our friend from ResLife), and Katie Hyde (Lynn's friend from her hometown). We assembled our team for Year Four and prepared to advance upon the corn, but we were met with DISASTER - the corn across from the barn had already been harvested!
Obviously, this just wouldn't do. We were not going to let a silly little detail such as "no corn" ruin our corn run! We decided to pile into Lynn's car and seek out a cornfield. We figured since we were in the middle of nowhere, there had to be one somewhere. So we all piled in (Katie Hyde was in the trunk), and we set off to find some corn. We weren't having much luck; the only suitable corn we found was at a farm down the road from the barn. The problem with this corn was that there was an entire corn field in front of it that had already been harvested and a valley in front of that field, so we would somehow have to cross the valley and then sprint across the open field before arriving at the field we wanted to run through. If we were seen, we would be in pretty big trouble because we had no idea who that field belonged to.
We decided that, despite the risks, the aforementioned field was going to be our best bet if we wanted to complete our corn run. We chose to drive back to the Barn Bash and then walk to the field from there so that we would not draw the suspicion of having a random car parked on the side of the road. We decided to cross the road outside of the Barn Bash and then walk to the field in the valley so that people wouldn't see us walking away from the party and ask us where we were going. We began by "nonchalantly" walking up to the pine tree at the very edge of the barn house yard. We tried to be quiet, and then we dashed across the road one at a time and ducked into the valley. Rex went first, and then Lynn. I ran after them, and as I neared I heard Rex whisper loudly, "Careful! There's a ton of water down here!" I dove onto the slope of the valley, but I was careful not to hit the bottom part where the water was. Rex continued his whisper warning to each additional "valley jumper" but then said, "Sh! No one tell Larsen about the water!" we all dissolved into giggles, which was (un)fortunately enough to warn Larsen that something was up, and he carefully jumped down the slope and did not hit the water.
We looked around, tried to stop laughing, and confirmed that everyone was present, dry, and ready for the next phase of the mission. All systems were go. Our next obstacle was to decide how to cross the watery bottom of the valley. With it being so dark out, we couldn't see exactly where the water was or how far it went. Katie Hyde volunteered to try it out, saying, "I can see the other side - I'm going to jump it!" She took a running leap, landed, and then we heard, "Ewwwwwwwww!! I landed right in the middle! Ewwww!! My foot and jeans are totally covered in mud! Ahhhh!" So obviously, we decided not to follow her.
We left Katie on the opposite side of the valley (poor girl; we had put her in the trunk earlier too) and told her we were going to find a different way to cross. We walked down the valley a little ways, looking for alternative methods. Our walk was peppered with the occasional "DUCK! CAR!" whenever we saw headlights, and we would drop and press ourselves into the tall grass so we wouldn't be discovered. About a quarter of a mile away we finally found a bridge of solid ground that crossed the valley, and we all crossed it safely to reunite with Katie.
When we crossed the land bridge, we were no longer protected from sight by being low in the valley. We stared ahead at the harvested corn field (corn stubs of about three inches or so stuck up everywhere), and we decided our best bet would be to sprint across the field to the tall corn that would once again offer us cover. We knew that being seen in the open field would invite lots of weird questions, and we wanted to avoid that by getting to the tall corn as quickly as possible.
With our decision made, Rex let out the battle cry of "LET'S GO!" and we all started running. It was difficult to avoid tripping on the corn stubs, but we had to soldier on. I told Katie that I felt like a part of the D-Day invasion. She agreed, but commented that there were considerably less guns involved. I was okay with this.
I was one of the first ones to reach the tall corn, and I turned around to nervously watch my comrades until we were all safely hidden. We took some victory pictures at having reached our destination, and we had some fun running around in the corn before we decided we should start heading back.
We walked to the edge of the tall corn field, and we prepared ourselves to start the long sprint back to the valley. After another vocal starting gun from someone, we started our run. About halfway through the run, I heard Rex whisper yell, "DUCK! FOR REAL! POLICE!!! GET DOWN!" We all dropped to the ground, which in retrospect was a HORRIBLE idea. What looks more suspicious than a group of twenty-somethings trying to hide themselves in three inch tall corn stubs!? My heart fell into my stomach, and we watched the police car turn its blue and red lights on. It was so dark out that the lights could have been fireworks, casting an eerie glow on all of us. We looked at each other nervously, and we watched in relief as the police car pulled over a car that had just turned the corner.
As soon as the two cars had stopped (thankfully facing away from our field), Rex said, "Okay. NOW! GO! RUN!" We all sprinted as quickly as we could back to the valley as the lights from the police car turned the corn stubs shades of red and blue.
When we all made it back to the valley, we looked at each other with wide-eyed relief. We were out of breath from running and from adrenaline. We crept back to the party as quickly as we could, casting weary glances over our shoulders every few steps at the occupied police car. When we arrived back into the yard of the barn, someone asked, "Where have you been?" and we replied in unison - far too loudly and quickly - "NOWHERE!" We would make horrible spies. We laughed at our ridiculousness and headed back into the barn.
Safely back at the party, we recounted our adventure and went back to the dance floor to celebrate our success. It was quite the night, and a wonderful finale to our years of barn bash corn shenanigans.
The first year that Rex and I went to the Barn Bash, we talked to our friend Lynn and decided it would be a fun idea to go run through the corn field across from the barn and creep each other out in the dark, crisp, spooky air. It was a BLAST, and we decided that we must make it a tradition. So far, we have continued our corn tradition each year. With this being our fourth (and possibly final) year at the Barn Bash, we had to make our corn run super extra fun and exciting.
Well, we were certainly not let down.
Our corn team has grown over the years. While we still had the core from year one (Rex, Lynn, and I), we also added Larsen (Lynn's boyfriend), Katie Masters (our friend from ResLife), and Katie Hyde (Lynn's friend from her hometown). We assembled our team for Year Four and prepared to advance upon the corn, but we were met with DISASTER - the corn across from the barn had already been harvested!
Obviously, this just wouldn't do. We were not going to let a silly little detail such as "no corn" ruin our corn run! We decided to pile into Lynn's car and seek out a cornfield. We figured since we were in the middle of nowhere, there had to be one somewhere. So we all piled in (Katie Hyde was in the trunk), and we set off to find some corn. We weren't having much luck; the only suitable corn we found was at a farm down the road from the barn. The problem with this corn was that there was an entire corn field in front of it that had already been harvested and a valley in front of that field, so we would somehow have to cross the valley and then sprint across the open field before arriving at the field we wanted to run through. If we were seen, we would be in pretty big trouble because we had no idea who that field belonged to.
We decided that, despite the risks, the aforementioned field was going to be our best bet if we wanted to complete our corn run. We chose to drive back to the Barn Bash and then walk to the field from there so that we would not draw the suspicion of having a random car parked on the side of the road. We decided to cross the road outside of the Barn Bash and then walk to the field in the valley so that people wouldn't see us walking away from the party and ask us where we were going. We began by "nonchalantly" walking up to the pine tree at the very edge of the barn house yard. We tried to be quiet, and then we dashed across the road one at a time and ducked into the valley. Rex went first, and then Lynn. I ran after them, and as I neared I heard Rex whisper loudly, "Careful! There's a ton of water down here!" I dove onto the slope of the valley, but I was careful not to hit the bottom part where the water was. Rex continued his whisper warning to each additional "valley jumper" but then said, "Sh! No one tell Larsen about the water!" we all dissolved into giggles, which was (un)fortunately enough to warn Larsen that something was up, and he carefully jumped down the slope and did not hit the water.
We looked around, tried to stop laughing, and confirmed that everyone was present, dry, and ready for the next phase of the mission. All systems were go. Our next obstacle was to decide how to cross the watery bottom of the valley. With it being so dark out, we couldn't see exactly where the water was or how far it went. Katie Hyde volunteered to try it out, saying, "I can see the other side - I'm going to jump it!" She took a running leap, landed, and then we heard, "Ewwwwwwwww!! I landed right in the middle! Ewwww!! My foot and jeans are totally covered in mud! Ahhhh!" So obviously, we decided not to follow her.
We left Katie on the opposite side of the valley (poor girl; we had put her in the trunk earlier too) and told her we were going to find a different way to cross. We walked down the valley a little ways, looking for alternative methods. Our walk was peppered with the occasional "DUCK! CAR!" whenever we saw headlights, and we would drop and press ourselves into the tall grass so we wouldn't be discovered. About a quarter of a mile away we finally found a bridge of solid ground that crossed the valley, and we all crossed it safely to reunite with Katie.
When we crossed the land bridge, we were no longer protected from sight by being low in the valley. We stared ahead at the harvested corn field (corn stubs of about three inches or so stuck up everywhere), and we decided our best bet would be to sprint across the field to the tall corn that would once again offer us cover. We knew that being seen in the open field would invite lots of weird questions, and we wanted to avoid that by getting to the tall corn as quickly as possible.
With our decision made, Rex let out the battle cry of "LET'S GO!" and we all started running. It was difficult to avoid tripping on the corn stubs, but we had to soldier on. I told Katie that I felt like a part of the D-Day invasion. She agreed, but commented that there were considerably less guns involved. I was okay with this.
I was one of the first ones to reach the tall corn, and I turned around to nervously watch my comrades until we were all safely hidden. We took some victory pictures at having reached our destination, and we had some fun running around in the corn before we decided we should start heading back.
We walked to the edge of the tall corn field, and we prepared ourselves to start the long sprint back to the valley. After another vocal starting gun from someone, we started our run. About halfway through the run, I heard Rex whisper yell, "DUCK! FOR REAL! POLICE!!! GET DOWN!" We all dropped to the ground, which in retrospect was a HORRIBLE idea. What looks more suspicious than a group of twenty-somethings trying to hide themselves in three inch tall corn stubs!? My heart fell into my stomach, and we watched the police car turn its blue and red lights on. It was so dark out that the lights could have been fireworks, casting an eerie glow on all of us. We looked at each other nervously, and we watched in relief as the police car pulled over a car that had just turned the corner.
As soon as the two cars had stopped (thankfully facing away from our field), Rex said, "Okay. NOW! GO! RUN!" We all sprinted as quickly as we could back to the valley as the lights from the police car turned the corn stubs shades of red and blue.
When we all made it back to the valley, we looked at each other with wide-eyed relief. We were out of breath from running and from adrenaline. We crept back to the party as quickly as we could, casting weary glances over our shoulders every few steps at the occupied police car. When we arrived back into the yard of the barn, someone asked, "Where have you been?" and we replied in unison - far too loudly and quickly - "NOWHERE!" We would make horrible spies. We laughed at our ridiculousness and headed back into the barn.
Safely back at the party, we recounted our adventure and went back to the dance floor to celebrate our success. It was quite the night, and a wonderful finale to our years of barn bash corn shenanigans.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Heist
Rex and I stole a canoe today.
It was a pretty sneaky mission...done in the darkest of night...one that took a lot of forethought and planning for a seamless execution...
Oh wait, no it wasn't.
We really did steal a canoe, but it was more on a random whim. Rex and I had pulled our deck chairs up to the edge of the lake, and he was fishing for carp while I was playing with the kitten. He has fished off the side of the lake ever since we moved in, and he has been dying to get a boat so that he could fish the middle of it. We haven't had any luck, though. There are lots of boats around at our apartment, so we have been asking our friends if any of them own any of the boats. So far we haven't had any luck. Today, though, our neighbor Karl came out to say hi while we were by the lake. We talked for a while, and then he said, "Hey, I remember you guys mentioned wanting a boat. We don't have one, but the green one on the side of the building just sits there all the time. I have never seen anyone use it in the two years that we have lived here, so I'm thinking maybe someone moved out and left it." His girlfriend contradicted him (by talking out their window at us as she took a genetics test online), saying that she had seen someone using it a couple of times. We knew that another person in the complex owns a similar canoe, though, so she could have possibly been confusing them. Karl went back inside, and we were left with a dilemma. Who was right about the canoe? Was it owned or abandoned?
We went to the side of the building to check out the canoe. It was nice; Spartan green in color. We flipped it over, and it looked as if whoever owned it had not taken it out in a very long time. We went to get the oars, and we actually had to dig one of them out of the dirt. That should show you how long it had been since they were used. The oars were the jankiest I had ever seen - completely covered in duct tape and still falling apart. They weren't even canoe oars, but rowboat ones. Whoever owned this canoe was clearly not very invested in their hobby.
On the inside of the canoe was a name: "Brook." There was a number next to the name, so we knew that someone with the name "Brook" (first or last name remains unknown) wanted the canoe identified with them. Rex called the number, but the line had been disconnected. VERY fishy...
Obviously, we decided to go for it. "Brook" hadn't answered, so we figured maybe he/she wouldn't care if we borrowed their boat for a while. We dragged it down to the lake, and we were off!!!
It was a beautiful day for canoeing. The water was so calm that the sky was reflected perfectly in it. It appeared as if we were canoeing through clouds. I told Rex that "Canoeing Through Clouds" sounds like a song that someone would write when they were high. I then proceeded to spend the rest of the canoe trip using my oar as a fake guitar while I composed the song "Canoeing Through Clouds." The water was so calm that Rex didn't really need my help in steering the boat anyway. We passed some egrets and saw fish swimming around in the water. A flock of about fifty Canadian Geese flew over our heads, and they looked like shadows against the pink sunset sky. I thought for sure we were going to get pooped on, but today was one of those perfect days where bad things don't happen.
Sure enough, as is true of days when bad things don't happen, we didn't get caught. We returned the canoe to the side of the building, and congratulated ourselves on a successful heist. We just might have to try that again sometime.
It was a pretty sneaky mission...done in the darkest of night...one that took a lot of forethought and planning for a seamless execution...
Oh wait, no it wasn't.
We really did steal a canoe, but it was more on a random whim. Rex and I had pulled our deck chairs up to the edge of the lake, and he was fishing for carp while I was playing with the kitten. He has fished off the side of the lake ever since we moved in, and he has been dying to get a boat so that he could fish the middle of it. We haven't had any luck, though. There are lots of boats around at our apartment, so we have been asking our friends if any of them own any of the boats. So far we haven't had any luck. Today, though, our neighbor Karl came out to say hi while we were by the lake. We talked for a while, and then he said, "Hey, I remember you guys mentioned wanting a boat. We don't have one, but the green one on the side of the building just sits there all the time. I have never seen anyone use it in the two years that we have lived here, so I'm thinking maybe someone moved out and left it." His girlfriend contradicted him (by talking out their window at us as she took a genetics test online), saying that she had seen someone using it a couple of times. We knew that another person in the complex owns a similar canoe, though, so she could have possibly been confusing them. Karl went back inside, and we were left with a dilemma. Who was right about the canoe? Was it owned or abandoned?
We went to the side of the building to check out the canoe. It was nice; Spartan green in color. We flipped it over, and it looked as if whoever owned it had not taken it out in a very long time. We went to get the oars, and we actually had to dig one of them out of the dirt. That should show you how long it had been since they were used. The oars were the jankiest I had ever seen - completely covered in duct tape and still falling apart. They weren't even canoe oars, but rowboat ones. Whoever owned this canoe was clearly not very invested in their hobby.
On the inside of the canoe was a name: "Brook." There was a number next to the name, so we knew that someone with the name "Brook" (first or last name remains unknown) wanted the canoe identified with them. Rex called the number, but the line had been disconnected. VERY fishy...
Obviously, we decided to go for it. "Brook" hadn't answered, so we figured maybe he/she wouldn't care if we borrowed their boat for a while. We dragged it down to the lake, and we were off!!!
It was a beautiful day for canoeing. The water was so calm that the sky was reflected perfectly in it. It appeared as if we were canoeing through clouds. I told Rex that "Canoeing Through Clouds" sounds like a song that someone would write when they were high. I then proceeded to spend the rest of the canoe trip using my oar as a fake guitar while I composed the song "Canoeing Through Clouds." The water was so calm that Rex didn't really need my help in steering the boat anyway. We passed some egrets and saw fish swimming around in the water. A flock of about fifty Canadian Geese flew over our heads, and they looked like shadows against the pink sunset sky. I thought for sure we were going to get pooped on, but today was one of those perfect days where bad things don't happen.
Sure enough, as is true of days when bad things don't happen, we didn't get caught. We returned the canoe to the side of the building, and congratulated ourselves on a successful heist. We just might have to try that again sometime.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I love teaching
I LOVE teaching. Really, I do. I feel so lucky to have found something in life that I am passionate about, and even though this internship is a lot of work, I am (so far) loving every day of it. If I could get a job next year similar to where I am working now, I would be in complete heaven. Anyway, I come home every day with an abundance of stories for Rex, but I figure I should share some of my favorites on my blog. (I changed the names for anonymity).
1. Benny raised his hand and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Acting on a hunch, I said, "No, you cannot go to the bathroom, because you don't really have to go. You just want to go to your locker and get a snack." He looked shocked, and when I turned away I heard him whisper to the person next to him in a simultaneously awed and scared voice, "She KNOWS me!!" Ha ha ha ha ha!! I was the creepy witch mind reader of a teacher.
2. In the same day, I had two firsts: A student said, "I love you," and another one said "You are an evil woman." Quite a day.
3. My class 100% is consumed with Bieber Fever. The girls love him and swoon at the mention of his name. I literally used that to get the class's attention once. They were being chatty, and I just said "Bieber" at the front of the room. Heads whipped in my direction faster than their necks probably appreciated. Even the boys love it, because they love to hate him. They can engage in the flirtatious banter of "Justin Bieber Sucks," which is rebuttled with "No! I LOVE HIM!!!" Obviously, their flirting needs some refining. Carly, I'm bringing you in to do a workshop.
4. They are also obsessed with silly bands. One student has over three hundred, and she can't fit them all on her arms so she carries the rest around in a box. Why? I will never understand. Now THERE is a trend that I wish I would have invented. Luckily, I thought of an idea that is going to make me millions: A Justin Bieber silly band. There - you heard it here first. It's how I'm going to make my fortune.
5. As a last note on trends, here is another one hot off the presses: Squinkies. Never heard of them? Neither had I. There are hundreds of them marching across the desks of my students, though, so I have become quickly acquainted. Boys and girls are both enthralled with them. They are these totally creepy pencil toppers. Here's the website if you want to brush up on how to be cool in sixth grade: http://www.squinkies.com/.
6. Yesterday I was watching over the students who were not allowed to go outside because they did not finish their homework ("Recess Jail," as I affectionately call it). I noticed that all of the boys in the room except for one were football players. I commented on it, saying "What is up with you football players? You're supposed to be good examples - why are none of you doing your homework??" They tried to tell me that they had no time after practice. I said, "Oh, come on. You totally have time. You go to practice, go home and eat dinner, and then maybe if you could turn off Dora the Explorer, you would have time to get your homework done." Tim (the one boy in Recess Jail who was not on the football team) called out "HA HA -BURN!!!!!!" and happily jumped up to "pound it" for my dis on the athletes. He he he.
7. Rex and I already know that we don't want to have children, but now we have one more reason not to. Our child already exists in the world, and he is in my class. All of the students had to give presentations on themselves, and this one boy gave this presentation: "Hi, my name is Danny. I really like rats, and I have two of them. We also have one cat. I really like baseball, and I like to shoot bows and arrows. I also drew a picture of bongos because I like to play drums." I'm not making any of that up - that was the student's presentation. Um, hello Rex's son.
There is a sampling for you. Can you BELIEVE people get paid to observe these hilarious anecdotes on a daily basis? I can't. But someday, I will have my OWN classroom, and then that will be me! YAY!
1. Benny raised his hand and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Acting on a hunch, I said, "No, you cannot go to the bathroom, because you don't really have to go. You just want to go to your locker and get a snack." He looked shocked, and when I turned away I heard him whisper to the person next to him in a simultaneously awed and scared voice, "She KNOWS me!!" Ha ha ha ha ha!! I was the creepy witch mind reader of a teacher.
2. In the same day, I had two firsts: A student said, "I love you," and another one said "You are an evil woman." Quite a day.
3. My class 100% is consumed with Bieber Fever. The girls love him and swoon at the mention of his name. I literally used that to get the class's attention once. They were being chatty, and I just said "Bieber" at the front of the room. Heads whipped in my direction faster than their necks probably appreciated. Even the boys love it, because they love to hate him. They can engage in the flirtatious banter of "Justin Bieber Sucks," which is rebuttled with "No! I LOVE HIM!!!" Obviously, their flirting needs some refining. Carly, I'm bringing you in to do a workshop.
4. They are also obsessed with silly bands. One student has over three hundred, and she can't fit them all on her arms so she carries the rest around in a box. Why? I will never understand. Now THERE is a trend that I wish I would have invented. Luckily, I thought of an idea that is going to make me millions: A Justin Bieber silly band. There - you heard it here first. It's how I'm going to make my fortune.
5. As a last note on trends, here is another one hot off the presses: Squinkies. Never heard of them? Neither had I. There are hundreds of them marching across the desks of my students, though, so I have become quickly acquainted. Boys and girls are both enthralled with them. They are these totally creepy pencil toppers. Here's the website if you want to brush up on how to be cool in sixth grade: http://www.squinkies.com/.
6. Yesterday I was watching over the students who were not allowed to go outside because they did not finish their homework ("Recess Jail," as I affectionately call it). I noticed that all of the boys in the room except for one were football players. I commented on it, saying "What is up with you football players? You're supposed to be good examples - why are none of you doing your homework??" They tried to tell me that they had no time after practice. I said, "Oh, come on. You totally have time. You go to practice, go home and eat dinner, and then maybe if you could turn off Dora the Explorer, you would have time to get your homework done." Tim (the one boy in Recess Jail who was not on the football team) called out "HA HA -BURN!!!!!!" and happily jumped up to "pound it" for my dis on the athletes. He he he.
7. Rex and I already know that we don't want to have children, but now we have one more reason not to. Our child already exists in the world, and he is in my class. All of the students had to give presentations on themselves, and this one boy gave this presentation: "Hi, my name is Danny. I really like rats, and I have two of them. We also have one cat. I really like baseball, and I like to shoot bows and arrows. I also drew a picture of bongos because I like to play drums." I'm not making any of that up - that was the student's presentation. Um, hello Rex's son.
There is a sampling for you. Can you BELIEVE people get paid to observe these hilarious anecdotes on a daily basis? I can't. But someday, I will have my OWN classroom, and then that will be me! YAY!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
First week of school
I have to stop labeling my blogposts "Day __" of being married, because facebook has kicked my wedding book app off of my profile! RUDE! Now I no longer have an easy way to calculate how many days I have been married. I shall start titling with different things instead.
I haven't written in a while, and I fear that my blog posts are going to be somewhat sparse this year due to the INSANITY that is this internship year. It is fun because I am finally doing what I want to do in life, but it is hard because it is a lot of work (full time job + course work), and in all of the business I am still trying to cultivate my baby marriage relationship. It's fun, just busy.
With that said, I think teaching sixth grade is going to be a blast. Not a whole lot has changed since I was in middle school. Yes, perhaps they have traded gel pens for silly bands and NSync for Justin Bieber, but still. Nothing is really new. There is still the queen bee who thinks she rules the school and her followers who inexplicably do everything she says. There are still the jocks who refuse to believe that a world exists outside the field/court. There are still the nerds who want to fit in but for some reason just can't. There are still the girls who think the boys are SO CUTE and will do anything to get their attention, but the boys so absolutely DO NOT care (once again: girls are not on the field/court, so they do not exist). Yep, sixth grade is sixth grade, no matter where you go or what year you have it in.
I love my students so far. I don't know a ton about them yet, but they all seem pretty cool. My CT (cooperating teacher) lets me be in front of class and teaching a lot, even from the first day, so that is very appreciated. I still get startled every time a student raises their hand and says, "Mrs. Webb?", but I'm pretty sure I will settle into that name fairly quickly. One of the funniest things that has happened to me so far was not even in the classroom. The week before school started we had a bunch of district meetings, and I figured I'd better bring a notebook to be super attentive and take notes. After all, I was going to be with a room full of teachers, so they would be very attentive and studious.
I could not have been more wrong. I walked into my first meeting, and all of the teachers were sitting in the back. No one would go up front. The speaker had to coax them for about five minutes to get them to move to the front of the auditorium to be more accessible. During the meetings, the teachers were completely inattentive. I saw a few teachers texting, a couple doodling (one made a nice drawing of a house on a cliff and birds flying over the water - I watched over his shoulder), and even a couple sleeping. I saw - and I swear I am not lying - two fifty-ish old teachers PASSING NOTES. As if they were in fourth grade again or something! The teachers made the worst students ever. It was HILARIOUS. I mentioned this to my CT and his friend after one of the meetings, and his friend said, "Oh yeah, teachers are totally the worst students. We give a speaker about one second and then say, 'You suck. F--- you.'" Yeah, teachers swear. WHAT?! They also party. Another fifth grade teacher at my school was talking about how he likes to go out and get drunk on the weekends. Ummm...he's like 40. And he has a family. The same guy walked into our classroom the other day and said, "Whoa!! That is a big a-- stack of papers! That should keep em busy for a while....oops...I mean 'enrich their minds.'" What is this about teachers that I never knew? It's like they have a secret life in front of students, and then behind their backs they are completely the antithesis of what they are telling their students to be. It's depressingly hypocritical and hilarious at the same time.
This is going to be a crazy year - I can feel it already. I can only hope that I find snippets of time with which to record all of it for future reflection (and laughter).
I haven't written in a while, and I fear that my blog posts are going to be somewhat sparse this year due to the INSANITY that is this internship year. It is fun because I am finally doing what I want to do in life, but it is hard because it is a lot of work (full time job + course work), and in all of the business I am still trying to cultivate my baby marriage relationship. It's fun, just busy.
With that said, I think teaching sixth grade is going to be a blast. Not a whole lot has changed since I was in middle school. Yes, perhaps they have traded gel pens for silly bands and NSync for Justin Bieber, but still. Nothing is really new. There is still the queen bee who thinks she rules the school and her followers who inexplicably do everything she says. There are still the jocks who refuse to believe that a world exists outside the field/court. There are still the nerds who want to fit in but for some reason just can't. There are still the girls who think the boys are SO CUTE and will do anything to get their attention, but the boys so absolutely DO NOT care (once again: girls are not on the field/court, so they do not exist). Yep, sixth grade is sixth grade, no matter where you go or what year you have it in.
I love my students so far. I don't know a ton about them yet, but they all seem pretty cool. My CT (cooperating teacher) lets me be in front of class and teaching a lot, even from the first day, so that is very appreciated. I still get startled every time a student raises their hand and says, "Mrs. Webb?", but I'm pretty sure I will settle into that name fairly quickly. One of the funniest things that has happened to me so far was not even in the classroom. The week before school started we had a bunch of district meetings, and I figured I'd better bring a notebook to be super attentive and take notes. After all, I was going to be with a room full of teachers, so they would be very attentive and studious.
I could not have been more wrong. I walked into my first meeting, and all of the teachers were sitting in the back. No one would go up front. The speaker had to coax them for about five minutes to get them to move to the front of the auditorium to be more accessible. During the meetings, the teachers were completely inattentive. I saw a few teachers texting, a couple doodling (one made a nice drawing of a house on a cliff and birds flying over the water - I watched over his shoulder), and even a couple sleeping. I saw - and I swear I am not lying - two fifty-ish old teachers PASSING NOTES. As if they were in fourth grade again or something! The teachers made the worst students ever. It was HILARIOUS. I mentioned this to my CT and his friend after one of the meetings, and his friend said, "Oh yeah, teachers are totally the worst students. We give a speaker about one second and then say, 'You suck. F--- you.'" Yeah, teachers swear. WHAT?! They also party. Another fifth grade teacher at my school was talking about how he likes to go out and get drunk on the weekends. Ummm...he's like 40. And he has a family. The same guy walked into our classroom the other day and said, "Whoa!! That is a big a-- stack of papers! That should keep em busy for a while....oops...I mean 'enrich their minds.'" What is this about teachers that I never knew? It's like they have a secret life in front of students, and then behind their backs they are completely the antithesis of what they are telling their students to be. It's depressingly hypocritical and hilarious at the same time.
This is going to be a crazy year - I can feel it already. I can only hope that I find snippets of time with which to record all of it for future reflection (and laughter).
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Shoplifting
I shoplifted for the first time today.
It was surprisingly easier than one might imagine. Stores always try to intimidate you with sensors and cameras and store associates walking around like suspicious police officers trying to catch you red handed, but shoplifting really isn't that difficult after all.
As a matter of fact, it is SO easy that I didn't even do it on purpose.
Rex and I were doing some grocery shopping yesterday, and Meijer was a madhouse due to all of the back-to-schoolers stocking up on last minute random crap that they are probably going to lose in a week anyway. We grabbed an advertisement to see what was on sale, and after looking through it I tossed it into our cart. We proceeded with our shopping, and we tried to go as quickly as possible so we could get out of there.
When we finished checking out, we walked out to the car and unloaded the groceries. Rex offered to take back the cart, and I said okay. He came back and handed me two notebooks, saying "Here - you left these under the Meijer ad." I froze, quickly scanning the area to see if anybody was chasing after me or if police cars were about to come screeching around the corner. I looked up at Rex and said, "Uhhh...I didn't pay for those...I must have forgotten they were under the ad." He asked how much they were, and I replied ten cents each (what a great sale, huh?). We figured Meijer probably wouldn't miss twenty cents in the grand scheme of things, and we decided to just go home.
As we started to pull away from our crime scene of a parking space, I started second guessing. "Rex, I can't just TAKE the notebooks. It's stealing! I am a criminal! They will come after me! Or, even if they don't, I will just be a REAL SHOPLIFTER for life! I can't handle this!!!" He joked, "Yeah, and you would probably fail the classes that you used those notebooks for, because they are stolen goods and you cannot succeed when you are a thief." Exactly. So I made him turn around so I could go pay for the notebooks. We got back to the door, and he handed them to me. He reminded me to take some money to pay for them, and I grabbed a quarter off of the floor of my car. I walked in, feeling like I was making the number one mistake of any criminal: returning to the scene of the crime. The greeter said something along the lines of "Hi," but I know they KNEW. They had this look in their eye...oh yes, THEY KNEW. I sheepishly sidled over to the self checkout, too embarrassed to admit what had happened to an actual store employee. I paid my twenty cents (twenty one cents with tax) in the least expensive self checkout transaction ever. Then I confidently strolled out of the store with my name cleared and my notebooks legitimized.
And that, my friends, is my shoplifting story. I live on the EDGE.
It was surprisingly easier than one might imagine. Stores always try to intimidate you with sensors and cameras and store associates walking around like suspicious police officers trying to catch you red handed, but shoplifting really isn't that difficult after all.
As a matter of fact, it is SO easy that I didn't even do it on purpose.
Rex and I were doing some grocery shopping yesterday, and Meijer was a madhouse due to all of the back-to-schoolers stocking up on last minute random crap that they are probably going to lose in a week anyway. We grabbed an advertisement to see what was on sale, and after looking through it I tossed it into our cart. We proceeded with our shopping, and we tried to go as quickly as possible so we could get out of there.
When we finished checking out, we walked out to the car and unloaded the groceries. Rex offered to take back the cart, and I said okay. He came back and handed me two notebooks, saying "Here - you left these under the Meijer ad." I froze, quickly scanning the area to see if anybody was chasing after me or if police cars were about to come screeching around the corner. I looked up at Rex and said, "Uhhh...I didn't pay for those...I must have forgotten they were under the ad." He asked how much they were, and I replied ten cents each (what a great sale, huh?). We figured Meijer probably wouldn't miss twenty cents in the grand scheme of things, and we decided to just go home.
As we started to pull away from our crime scene of a parking space, I started second guessing. "Rex, I can't just TAKE the notebooks. It's stealing! I am a criminal! They will come after me! Or, even if they don't, I will just be a REAL SHOPLIFTER for life! I can't handle this!!!" He joked, "Yeah, and you would probably fail the classes that you used those notebooks for, because they are stolen goods and you cannot succeed when you are a thief." Exactly. So I made him turn around so I could go pay for the notebooks. We got back to the door, and he handed them to me. He reminded me to take some money to pay for them, and I grabbed a quarter off of the floor of my car. I walked in, feeling like I was making the number one mistake of any criminal: returning to the scene of the crime. The greeter said something along the lines of "Hi," but I know they KNEW. They had this look in their eye...oh yes, THEY KNEW. I sheepishly sidled over to the self checkout, too embarrassed to admit what had happened to an actual store employee. I paid my twenty cents (twenty one cents with tax) in the least expensive self checkout transaction ever. Then I confidently strolled out of the store with my name cleared and my notebooks legitimized.
And that, my friends, is my shoplifting story. I live on the EDGE.
This is the life
I need to write a short post to mention how AWESOME Rex and I's new apartment is! We already dread moving. We sit on our patio every night and watch the sun set over the lake that our back yard leads into. I even went kayaking on it a couple days ago! I get to cook dinner in our MASSIVE kitchen, where when I look out the window I have a view of our willow tree and usually a few ducks swimming around. After dinner, Rex and I get to go fishing approximately 10 steps away from our patio door. After fishing, we come back inside and play with our new eight week old kitten Elsie.
To quote something Rex has been saying since high school:
"Could life get any better? I submit that it could not."
To quote something Rex has been saying since high school:
"Could life get any better? I submit that it could not."
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