Barbie Party

After the worst winter on record (10 snow days and it's not spring yet!), I think I'm starting to go a little batty.  It's like I don't even remember what it feels like to go outside and not shiver.  The ground in Kalamazoo has been consistently snow-covered since December 9.  It's March 15.  So really, it should be completely understandable that I have started doing some crazy things.  It's because I'm going a little crazy.

Last week, I realized that it had been a while since I'd had a good girls' night.  Every girl needs a girls' night once in a while, just like every guy needs to do man things like hunt and change the oil on his trucks.  (Excuse the extreme sexism in that comment.  I'm going crazy, remember?)  So anyway, I was thinking about throwing a girls' night, and I stumbled upon a news article that said this week marks the 55th anniversary of the first Barbie doll's release.  Wow!  How cool!  Obviously that was a great choice for a girls' night theme - Happy Birthday to Barbie.

I sent out some invitations, and my girlfriends and I got together last night to celebrate Barbie's birthday.  It was a ton of fun.  Each girl brought a Barbie (or a Barbie-themed item) to donate to kids at the Gospel Mission, so actually this party did something good for society in addition to just being a lot of fun.  Two-for-one party!  Rex was in charge of decorations - he had entirely too much fun with the pink streamers.  He left before the guests arrived, though, because it was a girls-only event.  He begged and begged to stay and play Barbie games with us, but I had to remain firm and just told him that no, he wasn't invited.

Okay, I actually made up that last part.  He definitely didn't want to stay, citing the "estrogen-rich" environment I was creating.  He really did set up the streamers, though!

The games we played were Barbie trivia (did you know Barbie has had eighty careers and has been represented in forty-five nationalities?) and a Barbie fashion show game, where teams had to dress a Barbie mermaid (the dollar store didn't have normal Barbies) in clothes made entirely out of construction paper.  Then we texted pictures of the outfits to my dad for judging.  Unlike Rex, my dad actually did want to come to the party, ha ha.  If you know my dad, you know I'm telling the truth.  This was our way of including him.

As a joke, I projected the Barbie Dream House television show on my wall so that when people walked in, they were greeted with five foot tall Barbies dancing around.  I found it on Netflix.  We actually ended up watching this show for a little while because...it's hilarious.  If you have Netflix, go watch it.  It makes no sense.  Barbie's horse plays the piano, her evil closet will lock her inside if she's not fashionable enough, and she unpacks her entire house out of a suitcase.  It's really something.

Anyway, here are a few pictures from the night.  Thanks to everyone who came!

This was the wall where we projected the Barbie movie (as well as Miss Congeniality later in the night).  Having a projector to use whenever I want is a definite teacher perk.

This is the outfit Sara and I created.

This is the outfit Beth and Jula created.  My dad said it looked like she was about to serve egg rolls, ha ha.

This is the outfit that Charissa and Sarah created.  I especially like the added touch of the pet rabbit (even though she's totally strangling it).

Here's the back of that dress - so cool!

Here is the cake I baked.  I was pretty proud of it.  You can't see it from the picture, but the pink frosting is actually make with edible glitter.  It was sparkly.  So girly and fabulous.

Here are the awesome ladies who came!  (We took turns taking the picture).  Sara (no H) isn't pictured because she had to come late.  What a good-looking group!

   It was a  fun night with a weird-yet-awesome party theme.  I had a good time with it.  If you think I'm nuts, blame it on the weather and not on the fact that I secretly never outgrew Barbie dolls...even though that may or may not be true. ;-)

My Day as a Rock Star

Today I was a "guest author" at a Young Author's Day in Grand Haven.  It was so much fun!  I don't really have anything witty or funny to say in this post, but I need to post it anyway so that when I'm having a bad day and thinking I'm a total loser, I can come back to this post and remember that I'm not.

I knew the day was going to be fun as soon as I walked into the school where it was held.  I was literally four steps through the door when a girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you the author of The Elsie Files?"  Yes...  Her mom wanted to know how she knew me, and the girl said, "Her picture's on the back of her book, so I recognized her!"  Whoa - I'm recognizable by a random kid?  Add 5 cool points to whatever my score was before today.  Another girl came up and nervously asked if she could take my picture, like I was a Disneyland character or something.  I mean...okay, yes you can take my picture.  Your parents are going to wonder who the heck I am, though.

Unbeknownst to me, many of the teachers at this school had done novel studies of my book before I came to speak to the kids.  Therefore the kids didn't know that my book is a random obscure children's novel that hasn't even sold 1,000 copies.  To them, I may as well have been J.K. Rowling.  They thought I was so cool.  When the principal announced me, they cheered like crazy.  It was among the weirdest experiences of my life (but still really awesome!).  Like, wait, you're cheering for me?  Is Justin Bieber standing behind me or something?  No?  Oh, then that must really be for me.  Strange.

I had been so nervous about my presentation, but the kids were so amped that I probably could have just stood up there and answered questions the whole time and they wouldn't have cared.  They were so into it.  There's a picture of Elvis in my presentation, and as soon as it was put up one of the kids said, "Hey!  That's your dog Elvis!"  I cannot adequately convey the simultaneous creepiness and awesomeness of the fact that the kids already knew my dog's name.  And my husband's name.  And my rats' names.  One kid thought my husband was secretly Justin Verlander (the pitcher for the Detroit Tigers), but I unfortunately had to bust his conspiracy theory.

The teachers were so appreciative of my being there, too.  When I arrived in the morning they had a breakfast set out for me (WHAT?)  and a reusable tote gift bag full of goodies to welcome me to their school and to say thanks for coming.  Mind you, I was already getting paid to be there, so none of this was necessary!  They were so kind!  One teacher had her class do book reports on my book in the weeks leading up to this, and they bound them in a beautiful binder to give me as a gift to say thanks for coming.  You basically NEED to see what these third graders thought of Elsie (and how they illustrated my book).  It's fabulous.  That binder is definitely going in the "keep forever" pile.

Probably my favorite part of the day, though, was after the presentation, after meeting the kids, and after my book signing.  Just as I was about to start packing up, this shy kid came up to my table.  He was holding a copy of my book, and I could tell he was nervous.  I said hi and smiled at him to try to make him feel better, and this is what he said to me:

"Hi...ummm...  I just want to meet you, and...ummm....  I just wanted to know that, um, your book is my favorite book that I ever read in my whole life."

Melt. My. Heart.

If I die tomorrow, I still feel like my life was a success because I wrote a kid's favorite book.  That's a pretty cool thing.  So what if he was, like, eight and he'll probably choose a new favorite book next week?  I don't care.  I could tell that he really meant what he said to me. I helped a kid like reading a little better because of something I wrote.  That feeling is seriously priceless.

Basically, it was a really good day.  When I feel like I'm a total loser and wasting my life, I need to remember how I felt today and know that I actually made a difference somewhere, even if was just to make a couple hundred kids in my Grand Haven fan club feel excited about reading.  :-)

Blogmopolitan Quiz

My friend Elle just sent me a "Blogmopolitan Quiz."  It's basically like those chain e-mails from junior high that were like "do you choose Coke or Pepsi?" or "vanilla or chocolate?" and everyone loved filling them out about themselves and declaring to the world their love for "roses or daisies."  As if anyone actually cared.  Alas, I was in junior high.  I don't think anyone should be held accountable for things they did between the ages of 10 and 13.

But, for nostagia's sake, I'm going to fill out this Blogmopolitan Quiz.  Enjoy, and feel free to fill it out yourself if you're a blogger too!

NAME: Christine Webb

BUT I WISH MY NAME WAS: Hazel, because then my name growing up would have been "Hazel Knasel."

MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE IS:  Poor grammar.  But don't worry, I only correct my students and my husband.  I think people who randomly correct other people are tacky.

THE FIRST THING I DO WHEN I WAKE UP IS: Hit the snooze button a bunch of times, then jump out of bed and think, "CRAP!  I'm late again!"

I LOVE THE FACT THAT: Michigan State won the Rose Bowl this year.  Also that Rex graduates in less than three months.

IF THE WORLD ENDED TOMORROW I WOULD:  Try to tell a lot of people about Jesus tonight.

I WOULD MARRY/DID MARRY THE FIRST MAN WHO: Didn't get freaked out that my dad was cleaning his guns when he came over.

TO LIVE FULLY IS TO: Love what you do.

IT'S BEEN A BIG CHALLENGE: To support Rex through school for the past four years.

I WILL KISS YOU IF:  Your name is Rex Lee Webb II.  Or if you're less than a year old and just too adorable to resist.  Or if you're a puppy of any kind.

I WILL CUT YOU IF: You're choking and need an emergency tracheotomy.

IF NO ONE WOULD EVER FIND OUT, I WOULD: Be in that play that my school said I can't be in because there's a show on Sunday.

MY BEST FRIEND IS: Rexo.

I DESPISE: Comma errors.  Also mushrooms.

I'D BE ONE HAPPY CAMPER IF:  Scholastic would buy my book.

MY FAVORITE FOOD WOULD BE SOMETHING: Either Mexican or Italian.  Possibly both.  Has anyone fully investigated the idea of a spaghetti taco?

I STARTED BLOGGING BECAUSE:  Ummm...whoa.  I actually have no idea.  Let me go back to my first post ever and check. 

*checking...*

Okay.  I apparently started because I was in college and was bored.  You can read my first-ever blog post HERE).  That was over four years ago.  Wow.

So there you have it, friends.  My Blogmopolitan Quiz.  Now you know everything you ever wanted to know about me.  In case there's something I didn't cover, leave any further questions in the comment box, and I will get to them in my next post.  Thanks for being loyal readers - especially those of you who have been reading for all four years.  Bravo.  You win the "best friend ever" awards.

Boo on No-Poo

Have you heard about the new "no-poo" craze?  I know it sounds like a constipation medication, but it's not.  It's an eco-friendly beauty regimen.  You can read an article about it HERE if you want...  but here's the basic idea:  You stop using shampoo.  Forever.

I know, I know.  It sounded disgusting to me at first, too.  I read various articles about it, and it turns out that the chemicals in shampoo are actually pretty damaging to your hair and to the environment (am I a horrible person because the "bad for your hair" bothered me more than the "bad for the environment"?  Hmmm...)  Anyway, they also said that your hair follicles produce oil, and when you're constantly stripping your hair of its natural oils then your oil glands start overproducing.  This is why your hair gets greasier faster if you shampoo a lot.  Interesting.  Well, I hate greasy hair, so the promise of letting my body regulate its own oils and avoiding constant shampooing sounded like a good idea.  A shortcut, if you will.

After reading testimonial after testimonial about how this "no-poo" thing gave people Pantene-Pro-V-commercial hair by only rinsing their hair with water, I decided to go for it.  Plus, I was almost out of shampoo and didn't feel like buying any more.  I figured it was as good a time as any to try my new eco-friendly hippie experiment.  The articles told me that there would be a "transition period" where hair would feel a little greasy because my body would still be regulating its oil production.  In the mean time, I was supposed to shampoo and condition with baking soda and apple cider vinegar until I was one of the cool kids who only needed to rinse with water.

Ummm...putting baking soda and vinegar in my hair sounds like a fifth-grade science experiment gone wrong.  In my quest for beautiful hair, though, I decided to go for it.  Full-steam ahead on the no-poo movement!  Anything for beauty!  Let's make a volcano on my head!

It was five weeks later that I decided perhaps no-poo wasn't for me.  I know.  I went five weeks without using shampoo.  Gross.  To be honest, it wasn't terrible.  My hair didn't look greasy, and I didn't have to wash it often.  My hair did feel a bit thicker, but I actually think my hair is too thick anyway so that wasn't a huge plus.  I thought my no-pooed hair felt a bit waxy, like I never got it actually totally clean.  That wasn't too fun.  The part I missed most about shampoo was the wonderful smell of freshly shampooed hair.  Hair that smells faintly of vinegar isn't nearly as exciting.  I gave up on my no-poo experiment yesterday, when I finally broke down and broke out the Garnier Fructis.

I apologize to my fragile hair follicles that are apparently crying out from their chemical burns, and I apologize to the baby polar bears for ruining their habitat with my eco-destructive habits.  My hair finally feels light and fluffy again, though, so I'm a happy camper.  It's been over a month since I had light fluffy hair.  Excuse me while I go swish it around for a while.

Letter to Myself at 30

Hello me-as-a-30-year-old,

It feels a little ridiculous to be writing this letter.  Don't you think we're getting a little old for this?  I do.  But since I've written letters to myself at 15, 20, and 25, it seems a little weird to stop the tradition now.  I don't want to get to 30 and think "BLAST!  WHERE'S MY LETTER!?"  so I guess I should go ahead and write this.

Hmmm...well, you're 30.  I guess I should console you.  Are you having a midlife crisis?  Probably.  You're probably freaking out that you haven't won a Newberry Honor yet or hit the bestsellers list.  You're not J.K. Rowling, okay?  You're fine.  And actually, I think she was over 30 when she wrote Harry Potter anyway, so you're really, really fine.  Do you realize that you might never hit the bestsellers list ever, and that would be okay too?  Because it would.  I just think it's cool that you're thirty.  You're old enough to be wise and experienced but young enough to be hip and cool.  So fab.

Let's see...  You probably want to know what I'm up to.  Well, I'm surviving the polar vortex of 2014.  You know, the one where you had SEVEN snow days!?  Actually, possibly eight - they're talking about closing tomorrow because of a -20 wind chill.  And February just started.  Sheesh.  I'm living in the cute green house on Pembrook Street with Rex and Elvis and Elsie.  Cara's trying to figure out where to go to college.  I'm trying to sell my book about the librarian assassins, and Scholastic has requested the manuscript (which, really, is actually a pretty cool thing even if they hate it.  At least they're reading it.)  I'm writing a third book, and I'm 44 pages in even though I only started it a couple of weeks ago (thank you snow days).  Writing basically keeps me sane.  I'm teaching junior high at Providence (actually, I wouldn't be disappointed at all if you're still teaching there as you read this).  It's a pretty fabulous school.

So.  What are YOU doing?  You have a pug, right?  Because you and Rex agreed you could have one before you guys turn thirty.  If you don't have a pug, go get one RIGHT NOW.  Like, stop reading this and go get a pug.  Have you been out of the country lately?  I think going out of the country once every five years would be cool.  Are you really going to go to Italy for your 10 year anniversary?  Because that's been the plan since you got married, and as of now it's still the plan, so I think that would be super cool if you actually do that.  Did you sell any books yet?  Did Scholastic buy anything?  Because if you sold a book to Scholastic, then just go ahead and label your life "SUCCESS" and then you can chill for the rest of it.  Ha ha.  Just kidding, obviously.  But that would be way cool.  Do you have any kids?  Hmmm...  if you have a kid then I hope it's a girl.  What are you going to do with a boy?  He'll have a wardrobe of entirely camouflage and know how to hit a baseball before he can walk.  Rex will make you sing country music lullabies.  Ewww.  Definitely go with a girl.

Are you fat?  Just wondering.  It seems like a lot of people get fat in their late twenties.  I hope you're not fat.  Go to the gym if you are.  Right now.  And on your way home, pick up that pug that you're getting.  If you're fat, though, then at least I hope that means you learned how to cook a lot of delicious food.  Do you still make that tomato spinach cream tortellini?  Because that's my personal favorite recipe right now.

Have you read the whole Bible through from start to finish yet?  I only ask because 20-year-old you wanted to know, so 25-year-old you is passing along the message.  You're probably reading the Bible on some fancy gadget, like the iBible or something.  Is Barnes and Noble still in business?  Because I'm actually kind of afraid that books are going to become extinct like dinosaurs and VCRs.  That would be a major bummer.

Who's the president?  It's not Obama, so that's cool.  Did Kim Jong dictator dude ever bomb anyone from North Korea?  He seems like kind of a loose cannon (no pun intended).  Have you met Meg Cabot?  I'm so excited to meet her, even though I'm not sure when I'm going to do that yet.  She's like the Kim Kardashian of my genre, except talented.  Ooooh....speaking of which, what's Kim Kardahian doing?  Actually, never mind.  I don't want to know.

I know this letter isn't very serious, but I think that's okay.  Your life's not very serious right now.  You're chilling out and enjoying your mid-twenties, because if the late twenties go nearly as fast as the early twenties then you've got a lot of fun to pack in during a very short amount of time.  You don't have time to take life too seriously.

Hasta la Vista,
25-year-old-you

Letter to Myself at 20

I turned 25 years old this week.  For some reason that sounds SO much older than 24.  Like, last week I was still in my "early twenties," which means I was in the phase of life where I graduate from college and putz around for a little while until I decide what I want to do with myself.  Now I'm closer to 30 than to 20, which means, "You've better get your crap together.  Time is ticking."  Eeeeek!

One fun part about turning 25 is that I got to go back and read a letter that I wrote to myself five years ago, when I was 20.  If you're settled in and you're going to be here a while, you can check out that letter HERE.  I figure now that I'm 25 and got to finally read the letter that was addressed to me, it's only fair that I write back.  To myself.  Which sounds a little trippy, actually, but I'm doing it anyway.  Here we go:

Dear Me-at-20,

Would it make you feel better if I tell you that everything turned out exactly as you wanted it to?

Because really...it kind of did.  Perhaps it doesn't make for a very exciting letter, but you basically stuck to your life plan and rocked it.  You graduated in three years, married Rex when you were 21 (you're about to get engaged, by the way), moved to Las Vegas (yes, you read that right. VEGAS.), zipped around the country doing fabulous things for a while, wrote a book, eventually moved back to Kalamazoo to chill with your siblings (Rex's end up feeling like yours too), and landed your dream job at a fantastic school while freelance writing for magazines on the side.  Health problems are basically nil.  Your brain is doing fine.  And you were so worried...

Can you breathe a sigh of relief now?  Can you stop freaking out?  Because everything is OKAY.  And really, even if that entire first paragraph was lies and you didn't do any of that cool stuff, you would still probably be okay.  You need to stop worrying about the future.  Stop writing letters to me and spend some time enjoying being you (20 year old you.  I mean me.  I mean...this is confusing).  Not that I didn't like your letter, mind you.  It was great.  I'm just saying that you have to be careful to not spend so much time planning out your life that you forget to live it.

Example: college is SWEET.  I would love to go back to college for a while, but I can't.  I'm too old.  You're still there, though!  Whoooo hooo!  You're going to meet a girl named Katie in a couple of weeks.  She's basically nuts, but also pretty cool.  You're going to be the maid of honor in her wedding this summer.  Spend more time with Elle too, because she ends up being your neighbor in Las Vegas (again, so weird that you lived there), and she's one of the best friends you'll ever have.  Hmmm....what else should you know....  Oh!  Get football tickets.  You keep trying to save money, which is really admirable, but now I'm too old to get student tickets and I wish I would have.  Big Ten football is where it's at.  And MSU beats U of M in overtime this year, so go to that game.  It's pretty awesome, but I didn't get to go.  Start saving up now, too, because MSU is going to the Rose Bowl in 2014 (and they win).

Let's see... I guess you want to know about the family.  Cara turned out fabulous.  Shame on you for thinking she would be nuts!  Although...remembering Cara at age 13...I can definitely see why you thought that.  Mom and Dad are doing well.  They're talking about retirement soon and selling "the big house," which I'm pretty sure they were actually talking about five years ago too.  Jake goes to Michigan State for college, which is deliciously ironic.  Tom is at Western, and Michelle is graduating from dental school this year on the same day that Rex is graduating from physical therapy school (May 18!).  Everyone's fabulous.  Nana still thinks that the internet is going to run out of cyberspace.  Grandma and Grandpa Koopsen are both gone, which actually is really sad, but they're together in heaven so at least that's good.

Your family has grown a little bit since you were 20.  (No kids - don't freak out).  You and Rex have a beagle named Elvis and a cat named Elsie.  They're so cute and fun.  Elsie is a little evil, but that's really just part of her charm.  Elvis is a total dork, but you will love him.  OH - and this is very important - you think that pug dogs are really ugly and strange looking, but that's because you're horribly unenlightened.  They're actually the cutest dogs ever and now I want one really badly.  You meet an eight-week-old pug named Gus next year, and he basically changes everything about your dog perspectives.

You're still trying to read through the whole Bible in order (sorry that that isn't done yet...), but you're making good progress.  Also, you've done a pretty good job of actually looking at your faith as a relationship with God instead of a checklist of "Christiany things to do."  So actually, the fact that you're not through the whole Bible yet doesn't really bother you a ton.  The fact that you're reading it is what matters.

Cars don't run on water yet, sorry.  Maybe when you're thirty.

Sincerely,
25-year-old you

We Need Your Phone

I love my junior high kids.  They're so much fun.  Three boys stay after school frequently - we'll call them Nate, Gus, and Walter.  Nate and Gus are the principal's sons, so that's why they're here, and Walter is their best friend who lives right next to the school.  The three of them have such a blast after school, and sometimes if I need a break from my work I'll go join them in a volleyball game or a ping pong tournament.

A few weeks ago, the three boys went into the kindergarten room and played the piano.  They sang along with it at the top of their lungs.  My room is at the opposite end of the hall, and I could hear them yelling.  I went into my friend Trish's room and said, "WHAT are those three doing?"  She didn't know, but we decided to go find out.  We went into the kindergarten room and found the boys rollicking in their kindergarten sing along.  I did what any good teacher would do in this situation:

I got it on video.

Yesterday after school, the boys were making fun of Trish and I for our volleyball skills (which really is quite unfair since I was playing in a skirt and heels).  I told them that it didn't really matter, because I would have the last laugh when I played the video of them singing kindergarten songs at their graduation in May.

They demanded to see the video, not believing that I actually had it.  Of course I did have it, so I showed it to them.  They freaked out and said they needed my phone so they could delete it.  There's no chance that I was going to give it to them, but they persisted about needing to "borrow my phone" for the rest of the day until I left.  I left school and went home, thinking the issue was over.

That night I got e-mails from both Nate and Gus saying "We need your phone!"  I chuckled and deleted their e-mails.   By the next morning, I had forgotten about the entire thing.  I  got to school, though, and I suddenly remembered because my door was covered in papers that said "WE NEED YOUR PHONE!"

Then I walked in, and this was right inside the door:

 The chairs were blocking my entrance to the room, and the papers on them said "WE NEED YOUR PHONE!"

They had written "WE NEED YOUR PHONE" on a bunch of papers and put one on each desk:

And this was on my whiteboard:

"SC" stands for student council, which periodically provides pizza lunches for the school.  All three of the boys are on student council.  I guess I'm not getting any more pizza.

Last but not least, this was on my desk (each paper said "We need your phone!"  and the papers were shaped into the word "NOW":

What goofy guys.  It was a really funny way to start my morning, though, and I laughed a lot.  Then I sat down and typed up a "bill" for all of the paper, tape, and markers that they used up.  I even threw in an extra $100 charge for the labor to take it down and $1000 for the emotional trauma caused by the entire experience.  I gave it to them during class.  

Phewf - tomorrow's Friday.  Thank goodness!