Teacher Stories

I hate that my life has gotten so busy that my blog has to suffer. It doesn't seem right. But then again, I do have to prioritize, and there are about a million and one things that come before this blog. Sorry! Plus, who wants to spend their free time typing out stories when they could be playing with a beagle puppy? Not me.

Anyway, I know there are a zillion stories that I have forgotten because I didn't write them down in time, but here are a few that I remember. Names have been changed.

1. This is my new favorite excuse: "Mrs. Webb, I DID do my homework, but then my notebook exploded." Well, you know, that happens to the best of us. You never know when your notebook might spontaneously explode.

2. A student and his mom came in after school to talk to me about some social issues he has been having. We had a good conversation, and I think things have improved since our talk. The next day, though, he came up to me and said (IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS), "Hey Mrs. Webb, I just wanted to say thanks for last night." The thing is, he was so sincere and didn't realize the innuendo at all. Luckily, I scanned the classroom and no one else seemed to get it either. *phew!* I'm the only one who found that comment really awkward.

3. We had student council elections last week, so lots of people put up campaign posters. My favorite one said, "Vote For Karen! Seriously, please...I already told my mom I won."

4. I walked out in the hall and found Damian eating Meg's lip gloss. I told him that that is disgusting, but he said, "What?! It tastes GOOD!" Weirdo. Just then, the science teacher came out. I said, "Damian thinks that Meg's lipgloss tastes good. He's eating it straight out of the tube." The teacher said, "Damian, do you realize that lipgloss and vaseline have almost the same ingredients?" He replied, "Maybe that's why I like eating vaseline too!" The science teacher said, "Ok well then you have problems," and walked away. HA HA!

5. I have some special ed students in my eighth grade class who have a difficult time sitting still, so I let them move to different seats or even sit on the floor if they need to, as long as they are paying attention and not disrupting other students. One time Darrel kept getting closer and closer to the white board, and he was totally in my way. I held out my black marker and said, "Darrel. If you get any closer to this board, I am going to draw a mustache on your face with this marker." He jumped gleefully and said, "It will be like I'm becoming a MAN!"

6. My students wear uniforms, and their shirts have to be either red or black. A bunch of students wearing red shirts were spilling into the hall after class, but they hadn't been dismissed yet so I said, "Guys, go back into the room. Stop bleeding into the hallway." Two kids in black shirts said, "We'll be the scab! We'll keep the blood inside!" and they stood shoulder to shoulder and blocked my door so no one could get out. It was really funny, especially since the "blood" was wearing red and the "scab" was black like a real scab.

7. Quote: "Mrs. Webb, Kayla accidentally bit herself! Can she go to the nurse?" Kayla held up a red arm. My answer?: "No, you can't leave. If you're dumb enough to bite yourself, then you REALLY need to stay in school."

8. Every Friday we write mini-essays about what we are going to do over the weekend. This Friday, one of my students said, "I am going to visit my uncle and my aunt, but I hardly know her because she's from Peru." I asked where she and the uncle met, and the student said, "Well, he was looking for an American wife, but he couldn't find any and then he got really desperate so I guess he decided to go get one in Peru. He came back and had one." Isn't that a romantic story?

Life in middle school is crazy but really fun. I wish you could come visit my classroom!