Work Party

Tonight was Rex's first work party since he started working at Spine PT.  I was...well...nervous, to say the least.  I was afraid to go hang out with all of the doctor's wives, because "doctor's wife" just sounds pretentious, doesn't it?  Like I was going to be walking onto the set of The Real Housewives of Kalamazoo or something.  I pictured them all walking around in high heels with glasses of chardonnay, swapping casserole recipes and talking about vacations to the Hamptons.

And yes, I realize that Rex is a specifically a doctor of physical therapy, which is different than a "regular" doctor.  He is always very particular about that.  He is super paranoid that someone is going to confuse him for a general physician or a surgeon or something.  As if people are going to be sitting in a restaurant when a guy chokes, and someone yells, "Hey!  That guy over there is a doctor!  Quick, Sir, we need you to perform an emergency tracheotomy with only a toothpick and a handful of cilantro!"  Um, not going to happen.  Still, Rex doesn't like being called a doctor.

So, even though they were doctors of physical therapy, they were still doctors.  And that made their wives doctors' wives.  And that made me intimidated.

I chose my outfit carefully.  I wanted to seem sophisticated, but not like I tried too hard.  I settled on some kicky jeans, brown boots (jeans over boots, not under), a brown sweater, and a tan scarf with brown swirls.  I also wore my off-white peacoat.  At the last minute I added some pearl drop earrings, because obviously pearls are sophisticated.  If there was a store called Sophisticated-R-Us, there would be an entire department of pearls.  They're practically the backbone of sophistication.
I had an internal debate about my purse choice.  I had a no-name brand brown purse that I got at a garage sale which would match well, or I had my Vera Bradley bag, which is designer but didn't really match.  I decided on Vera, partially to look like I was stylish and partially because I just really like that purse.  As a final touch, I put on my Ray-Ban knockoffs (they're good knockoffs, though, with the logo and everything.  You totally can't tell they're fake).  I realized I wouldn't wear sunglasses at the indoor party, but maybe someone would see them when I walked in and think, "Ah, yes.  She is one of us."  I am such a poser.  *hangs head in shame*

We arrived at the party, and I gave the hostess my offerings of homemade potato salad and pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.  Everyone knows that women judge each other by their cooking.  It's like how guys compare muscles or something.  If you can rock a homemade souffle, you're in.  If you bring store-bought cookies, scoff!  Women are judgmental like that.  It's pretty stupid (yet I still participate in this by trying super hard to make acceptable food...hmmm...).  For the record, if I ever throw a party - you are welcome to bring store-bought cookies.  Or a 2-liter of pop. Or napkins.  Or whatever you want.  I like when people bring anything at all.  Hand on heart - I won't judge you.

So I walked into the kitchen to proffer my gifts of food, and I immediately noticed that the decor was...fancier than my unsophisticated taste properly appreciates, I guess.  The wallpaper had roosters on it, but instead of feathers the roosters had exotic animal furs.  There was a zebra rooster, a leopard rooster, a tiger rooster, etc.  I really wanted to get out my phone and take a picture to show you, but that seemed quite rude.  So I didn't.  Instead, I complemented the hostess on the fact that her kitchen decor seemed "down-home, yet exotic."  True, it did.  It just took a bit of staring at it to get used to it.  She said "Thank you.  Exotic was exactly what I was thinking."  Phew!  Score one for me!

I stayed pretty quiet as Rex made his rounds and said hello to people.  I noticed one of the wives had a Vera Bradley bag (glad I chose that one!), but I also noticed that it was last season.  Then I felt like a TOTAL brat for even noticing that.  Who was acting all Real Housewives of Kalamazoo now?  Me, that's who!  So I mentally chided myself and told myself to stop freaking out about everyone's outfits and food offerings and statuses in the company.  These were real people.  I am a real person.  There is no reason why we can't be friends.  Our spouses all work together, so we all automatically have something in common.  There.  I had talked myself into it.  I was going to be social.

Rex introduced me to a few of the ladies there, and they were super nice.  They weren't uppity at all.  We talked about how lots of the hostess's decorations were so fun - she had a lot of Halloween/harvest themed things.  She even had centerpieces for the tables made out of wheat.  WHEAT.  You wouldn't think that would look cool, but it did.  She had yummy scented candles making the house smell great, and she had little pumpkins and ghosts hiding all over the place, so everywhere you looked you saw something else cute and festive.  Her house was basically a Pinterest board for "How to Throw a Harvest Party."

The food was really good (as it was destined to be with that many women trying to impress each other).  I got complimented on my potato salad, so that made me happy.  Rex and I sat with another therapist and his wife at dinner, and they were super cool.  We ended up talking to them for a lot of the night, and we found out we had a ton in common.  After a while some of the guys turned on a football game, some of the women started looking at photo albums, and it was basically a really fun night with really fun, totally normal people.  No wine, stilettos, or vacations to the Hamptons.  I can breathe a sigh of relief.   I was so apprehensive about this party, but now I hope that Rex's work has a Christmas party too, because those people are quite fun.  Now I feel dumb for freaking out so much.  Silly me.  Oh, well.  I will go toast to my successful evening with a leftover cupcake.  Mmmm.