The Things We Do for Love

Rex has picked up a new hobby: grouse hunting.

This is kind of like saying, "Michael Jordan picked up a new hobby...it's called basketball."  Or "Italy picked up a new hobby...it's called pasta."  Rex is SO into grouse hunting.  He eats/sleeps/breathes grouse hunting.  He doesn't even go on facebook anymore because he found a new social media site that's "way better" and only for grouse hunters.  Because if you're not a grouse hunter, why on earth would he want to keep up on anything going on in your life?  He wouldn't.  Duh.

We've put well over $1,000 into our (his) ridiculously crazy hunting dog, Ruby.  There's buying the puppy itself, then vet appointments, shots, special collars, etc. etc. etc.  This is an expensive hobby.  I wish my hobby (writing) would start making some money so that we could afford his!

Anyway, this weekend Rex was running Ruby through the woods at his grandparents' farm (it's not hunting season yet, so she wasn't hunting anything).  I asked if I could go with him for two reasons: 1. I am a supportive wife, and 2. I wanted to see what all of the fuss is about.  He said sure, so we went together.

It's not that I don't LIKE grouse hunting...

...I mean, it's pretty fun when you really think about it...

...sort of...

...if you think about it in a certain way...

Okay here's the thing: I was completely unprepared.  I had no idea what I was doing.  I wore jeans and a t-shirt.  Rex wore a hunting vest with hiking boots and literal chaps (like a cowboy - CHAPS).  I thought he looked stupid until I got all sorts of briars and prickers in my legs.  Then I wished that I was wearing chaps too.  Ruby looked like something off of a sci-fi show with her millions of collars and antennae and bells strapped on her before we left ("This one's the GPS collar, this one's the e-collar, this antenna tracks her..." etc.  I tuned him out but nodded appreciatively and pretended I knew what he was saying).

We started walking through the woods, and I whispered something to Rex.  He answered back in a totally normal voice and said, "Why are you whispering?"  Umm...I don't know, because we are HUNTING!??!  I thought you always had to be quiet during hunting.  Apparently birds don't care about that, which I didn't know.  Oops.

Hunting with a dog (even when we're not actually hunting) means that you follow the dog through all sorts of thick brush and thickly wooded areas.  Our dumb dog doesn't know how to use her nose yet, so we were literally just following her around while she frolicked through the forest.  I put my hand on a tree to steady myself at one point, and a slug fell on my arm.  I didn't want Rex to think I was a weenie, so I obviously couldn't be all, "Ewwwww!!! A SLUG!" but I'm sorry: ewwwww...a slug.  It slimed me.

I got all kinds of scratches and bug bites, I got dirt all over, and I couldn't help thinking, "Ummm...why does Rex think this is fun?"  Then I looked at Ruby, and I got a little idea of why.  I have never seen a dog so happy.  She was bounding through the woods with the biggest smile on her face, her tongue lolling out to the side, and her eyes round and bright as if to say, "THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!!"  Then I looked at my husband, and I realized he looked basically the same way (minus the tongue lolling out of his mouth, because that would be weird and somewhat concerning).  So even though I made the mistake of putting my hand on another tree and accidentally touching a giant spider (again: EW), I decided that maybe this isn't so bad after all.  If it makes my family happy, it makes me happy.  I just need to get some chaps and bug spray.  Also maybe some gloves so I don't have to touch any more nasties crawling on the trees.

*sigh*  Why can't he pick up an easy/cheap hobby like stargazing or reading Shakespeare?