The Teacher Store

Today I experienced something WONDERFUL and AMAZING and BREATHTAKING - the Las Vegas teacher store.

I have only ever been to Kalamazoo's "Teacher Center," so I really haven't been exposed to the WONDERS of a bigger city's teacher supply store. We were driving by on our way to the bank, and I begged Rex to let us stop and check it out for a minute. JUST ONE MINUTE, PLEEEEEEEEASE??? (We didn't make it to the bank before it closed. Oops.).

When we walked in the door I literally gasped - what a wonderland of teacher goodness! It was like my wildest dreams! Everything I could possibly need for my new job - all in ONE STORE! I inhaled the scent of fresh sharpened pencils and took in the views of glorious "Clearance" signs posted all around the store.

My reverie of delight was broken by Rex commenting next to me, "I think I am going to puke." WHAT?! I turned in shocked indignation. "What is your PROBLEM?! This store is FABULOUS!" He replied with, "Fine. We'll check it out. But you're taking me to Bass Pro Shops later." Deal.

I started walking around the store as if I was walking in a dream. A really, really good teacher dream. The shiny new books, timers shaped like apples, sparkly bulletin board borders, neon pointers, and even SMARTBOARDS were all so lovely I felt like tearing up. It was all so....beautiful. Walking around in my dream-like state, I didn't even notice Rex was missing until he came up behind me and said, "WHAT are we listening to?!" I tore my attention away from the glorious sights and turned my ear to the radio. With some careful analysis, we concluded that we were listening to "Rubber Ducky, You're the One" in Spanish. How he could still hate this store, I have no idea. He said, "Okay, this place brings back terrible memories of 'back to school' sales in the middle of July where I would get really mad at stores for trying to prematurely end my summer. We've got to get out of here." I whirled on him and, admittedly a bit forcefully, exclaimed, "Are you KIDDING?! We've only been here for, like, three minutes! This place is AWESOME!" Some other women (teachers?) in the aisle started laughing at me. Whoops. Luckily, Rex laughed too and went to go see if he could find anything worthwhile in this store of his nightmares.

After lovingly stroking a beautiful bulletin board set on literary genres (I don't have any money to spend on supplies - YET), I regretted leaving it behind and turned to see a very jubilant Rex. He held up his new prize and announced, "Check it out! An ANT FARM!! And if you send in the attached coupon, they send you FREE ANTS! And it's only $14.99!" I almost wanted to get it for him just so that he wouldn't hate the store so much, but then I re-thought my strategy and decided that if I DON'T buy the ant farm but then decide later that we should get it, then we will have to go to that store AGAIN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!

So Rex and I danced joyfully down the next aisle to the theme from "Elmo's World" on Sesame Street (this time the song was in English). I was truly blissful. "Rex, do you SEE all of these opportunities?! There's stuff here I never even imagined!" Rex sighed. "What I see here is us becoming very, very poor."

Crap, he's probably right. Maybe I should restrain myself. If I ever walk into that store with money I think I would be in BIG trouble. But it was wonderful. I think I will definitely have to go back. I mean, I have to be a good wife, right? If my husband wants an ant farm...going back is really the only answer. It's all about him, really.