My husband, Rex Webb, is DOMINATING Physical Therapy School. I am so proud of him! He is currently getting high A's in every class, and his first term ends in August. In one class there have been 488 points, and he's only missed 4. WHOA! He got the high score in his whole graduating class on his last exam. Pretty much he ROCKS, and he's going to graduate #1 in his class. I just know it.
I was going to give him a shout-out on facebook, but I'm friends with a bunch of PT people and I don't want to make them feel bad about my husband being so smart and all.
SO...if YOU could please write on his wall or text him to say that he ROCKS, that would be fantastic. I want to keep encouraging him to kick butt. If you won't do it out of your love for me, do it because in three years he's gonna be a doctor and then maybe if he likes you he'll share some of his money. ;-)
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Frightful Flight
I hate flying. I HATE it with a burning fiery passion.
Because I live thousands of miles away from any of my family members, though, I guess I will have to get used to it.
Yesterday I was flying back to Las Vegas from New Hampshire. My flight to Atlanta was pretty uneventful, but my flight from Atlanta to Las Vegas was SCARY!
First of all, we left an hour late. That is never a good start. Then, when we got into the clouds, I saw a thunderstorm up ahead! It was really weird being eye-level with the lightning and watching it go down to the earth. I thought this was highly cool until I saw that the plane was heading straight for the thundercloud! I wanted to talk to the pilot:
"Um, excuse me sir...are you INSANE?! Why are we flying into THAT cloud?! There are plenty of fluffy white clouds to choose! Why don't we pick one of them?! Or fly OVER the storm cloud?! I don't think flying through it is really necessary..."
Apparently he thought it was necessary, though, because he came over the loud speaker and said, "Please buckle your seat belts - we are headed for a bit of turbulence." OF COURSE WE ARE - YOU CHOSE THE SCARY CLOUD! ARE YOU SUICIDAL?!? It was a bumpy and quite disconcerting ride flying through the storm. Lighting flashed all around the windows. I considered what would happen if the plane got struck by lightning, and then I decided that maybe I didn't want to consider that after all.
We miraculously made it through the storm, and then I saw something that I have never seen before while flying - another plane! It was up there in the air next to us, just like another car would drive next to you on the highway. I waved at it, and I wondered if the people could see me. Suddenly the plane changed from flying parallel to us and headed straight towards the side of my plane! Here is my approximate thought process:
"Hi little friend plane! It's so fun to be up here in the sky with you - we could do synchronized flying or something! Wait, are you turning? Why are you heading toward this plane? AHHHHH! It's going to fly into the side of our plane! Dear God, please take care of Rex and Elvis and Elsie since I am about to be killed by a crazed suicide bomber who is using his plane as a torpedo! AHHHH! I hope dying doesn't hurt too badly...oh wait, is he going in front of our plane? He is. Oops. I guess he's not going to kill us after all; he's just switching directions. Dear God, never mind. False alarm. I'm okay."
I thought the excitement would end after the suicide-bomber-turned-regular-pilot episode. I didn't. When we got to Las Vegas, the plane ALMOST landed. Almost. We were so low to the ground that I could distinguish and identify the different casinos (is that sad?). Suddenly the plane pulled up and flew right PAST Las Vegas. It kept flying right past the city and on to California. New thought process:
"Pilot? Sir? That was my stop...um, can I parachute out or something? Because I'm really trying to go home, and you just passed it. Why are we going to California? Are you high? Did you fall asleep? Did you get hit by lightning? Did you have a heart attack? OH MY GOSH WHAT IF THE PILOT IS DEAD AND WE JUST KEEP FLYING AND FLYING?!?! We are flying over mountains now...definitely not in Nevada anymore...WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Oh wait, I think we're turning around. Or possibly crashing. No, I'm pretty sure we're turning around. WHOO HOO! I can see Vegas in the distance!"
He finally flew back to Vegas and actually landed the plane. As we were waiting for our gate, the pilot came over the loudspeaker and said, "Heh heh...sorry about that, guys. It got kinda crazy so I couldn't keep you in the loop. There was a wind issue so we couldn't land, and then air traffic control told us to fly around for a while and then try landing again from the west. So that's what we did."
You know, if it weren't for the free pretzels I would be really disappointed in that flight!
Because I live thousands of miles away from any of my family members, though, I guess I will have to get used to it.
Yesterday I was flying back to Las Vegas from New Hampshire. My flight to Atlanta was pretty uneventful, but my flight from Atlanta to Las Vegas was SCARY!
First of all, we left an hour late. That is never a good start. Then, when we got into the clouds, I saw a thunderstorm up ahead! It was really weird being eye-level with the lightning and watching it go down to the earth. I thought this was highly cool until I saw that the plane was heading straight for the thundercloud! I wanted to talk to the pilot:
"Um, excuse me sir...are you INSANE?! Why are we flying into THAT cloud?! There are plenty of fluffy white clouds to choose! Why don't we pick one of them?! Or fly OVER the storm cloud?! I don't think flying through it is really necessary..."
Apparently he thought it was necessary, though, because he came over the loud speaker and said, "Please buckle your seat belts - we are headed for a bit of turbulence." OF COURSE WE ARE - YOU CHOSE THE SCARY CLOUD! ARE YOU SUICIDAL?!? It was a bumpy and quite disconcerting ride flying through the storm. Lighting flashed all around the windows. I considered what would happen if the plane got struck by lightning, and then I decided that maybe I didn't want to consider that after all.
We miraculously made it through the storm, and then I saw something that I have never seen before while flying - another plane! It was up there in the air next to us, just like another car would drive next to you on the highway. I waved at it, and I wondered if the people could see me. Suddenly the plane changed from flying parallel to us and headed straight towards the side of my plane! Here is my approximate thought process:
"Hi little friend plane! It's so fun to be up here in the sky with you - we could do synchronized flying or something! Wait, are you turning? Why are you heading toward this plane? AHHHHH! It's going to fly into the side of our plane! Dear God, please take care of Rex and Elvis and Elsie since I am about to be killed by a crazed suicide bomber who is using his plane as a torpedo! AHHHH! I hope dying doesn't hurt too badly...oh wait, is he going in front of our plane? He is. Oops. I guess he's not going to kill us after all; he's just switching directions. Dear God, never mind. False alarm. I'm okay."
I thought the excitement would end after the suicide-bomber-turned-regular-pilot episode. I didn't. When we got to Las Vegas, the plane ALMOST landed. Almost. We were so low to the ground that I could distinguish and identify the different casinos (is that sad?). Suddenly the plane pulled up and flew right PAST Las Vegas. It kept flying right past the city and on to California. New thought process:
"Pilot? Sir? That was my stop...um, can I parachute out or something? Because I'm really trying to go home, and you just passed it. Why are we going to California? Are you high? Did you fall asleep? Did you get hit by lightning? Did you have a heart attack? OH MY GOSH WHAT IF THE PILOT IS DEAD AND WE JUST KEEP FLYING AND FLYING?!?! We are flying over mountains now...definitely not in Nevada anymore...WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Oh wait, I think we're turning around. Or possibly crashing. No, I'm pretty sure we're turning around. WHOO HOO! I can see Vegas in the distance!"
He finally flew back to Vegas and actually landed the plane. As we were waiting for our gate, the pilot came over the loudspeaker and said, "Heh heh...sorry about that, guys. It got kinda crazy so I couldn't keep you in the loop. There was a wind issue so we couldn't land, and then air traffic control told us to fly around for a while and then try landing again from the west. So that's what we did."
You know, if it weren't for the free pretzels I would be really disappointed in that flight!
Special Delivery
I walked into the post office with a bag of books. I was visiting my Nana in New Hampshire, and she had taken me to an AWESOME used book shop where they had squillions of great middle-school level books for my class at super cheap prices! Obviously I had to stock up.
When I lugged my full bag of goodies out of the store, I was well aware that I would not be able to fly them all home with me (I only brought a backpack). I asked my Nana to take me to the post office so I could send them to myself. The post office has these awesome "flat rate shipping" boxes, so I knew I could send the entire lot of books for less than $15! Whoo hoo!
I walked into the tiny New Hampshire post office, and I was the only customer. There were two ladies working, and they were preoccupied by something in the back room. I stood patiently by the counter for a while and finally asked if I could get some help.
The blonde looked up happily from whatever they were looking at and said, "Go away! Can't you see we're busy? Ha ha just kidding! LOOK AT THIS!" She rushed a large brown box over to the counter so I could see it. She opened the top (even though I'm pretty sure it's illegal to open someone else's mail) and said, "Look what just got delivered for someone!"
I peeked inside and saw the FLUFFIEST little baby chicks. They were little yellow poofs running around inside the box and chirping happily. I would say there were about a dozen or so.
"Is that even LEGAL?!" I asked. "Can you mail animals?!
"I don't know," giggled the mail lady. "I guess so, because someone just did!"
The chicks attempted to run around on the mail counter, but we kept them in the box. They were so adorable! I'm really not sure who thought it would be a good idea to put them in the mail, but apparently they arrived safely in New Hampshire so that is good. Hopefully they arrived to their new home (a farm?) safely. I'm sure they were a little traumatized from living in a cardboard box, but they acted perfectly happy and cute. It made me want to get some baby chicks, but I'm not sure how well they would do living on our balcony in 100+ degree heat. I guess we'll just stick with our cat and our dog. If you ever want to send anyone chicks, though, know that the US Mail accepts them!
When I lugged my full bag of goodies out of the store, I was well aware that I would not be able to fly them all home with me (I only brought a backpack). I asked my Nana to take me to the post office so I could send them to myself. The post office has these awesome "flat rate shipping" boxes, so I knew I could send the entire lot of books for less than $15! Whoo hoo!
I walked into the tiny New Hampshire post office, and I was the only customer. There were two ladies working, and they were preoccupied by something in the back room. I stood patiently by the counter for a while and finally asked if I could get some help.
The blonde looked up happily from whatever they were looking at and said, "Go away! Can't you see we're busy? Ha ha just kidding! LOOK AT THIS!" She rushed a large brown box over to the counter so I could see it. She opened the top (even though I'm pretty sure it's illegal to open someone else's mail) and said, "Look what just got delivered for someone!"
I peeked inside and saw the FLUFFIEST little baby chicks. They were little yellow poofs running around inside the box and chirping happily. I would say there were about a dozen or so.
"Is that even LEGAL?!" I asked. "Can you mail animals?!
"I don't know," giggled the mail lady. "I guess so, because someone just did!"
The chicks attempted to run around on the mail counter, but we kept them in the box. They were so adorable! I'm really not sure who thought it would be a good idea to put them in the mail, but apparently they arrived safely in New Hampshire so that is good. Hopefully they arrived to their new home (a farm?) safely. I'm sure they were a little traumatized from living in a cardboard box, but they acted perfectly happy and cute. It made me want to get some baby chicks, but I'm not sure how well they would do living on our balcony in 100+ degree heat. I guess we'll just stick with our cat and our dog. If you ever want to send anyone chicks, though, know that the US Mail accepts them!
Friday, July 22, 2011
How to Read a Magazine With Your Puppy
Step 1: Sit on the couch
The puppy will inevitably start bounding toward you. After a few unsuccessful attempts to jump up onto the couch (where he will probably bounce off the side of the couch), he will either finally make it or you will have pity on the poor guy and help him up.
Step 2: Open your magazine
The puppy will see that display as you saying "Here is a new toy for you!" and he will start chewing on it.
Step 3: Say, "NO, PUPPY!"
He will ignore you.
Step 4: Put him on the ground so you can read your magazine in peace.
He will inevitably go back to Step 1, and you will repeat steps 1 through 4 until you decide to move on to Step 5.
Step 5: Give up, and in exasperation exclaim, "Fine! We'll share!" Then rip out the page you were just reading and hand it to the puppy.
The puppy will happily munch on the page for juuuuuuust about long enough for you to finish the next page, then he will start jumping on you again.
Step 6: Give the puppy the next page.
Step 7: Repeat Steps 5 and 6 until your magazine is strewn about the living room. I hope you didn't want to re-read any of those articles...
The puppy will inevitably start bounding toward you. After a few unsuccessful attempts to jump up onto the couch (where he will probably bounce off the side of the couch), he will either finally make it or you will have pity on the poor guy and help him up.
Step 2: Open your magazine
The puppy will see that display as you saying "Here is a new toy for you!" and he will start chewing on it.
Step 3: Say, "NO, PUPPY!"
He will ignore you.
Step 4: Put him on the ground so you can read your magazine in peace.
He will inevitably go back to Step 1, and you will repeat steps 1 through 4 until you decide to move on to Step 5.
Step 5: Give up, and in exasperation exclaim, "Fine! We'll share!" Then rip out the page you were just reading and hand it to the puppy.
The puppy will happily munch on the page for juuuuuuust about long enough for you to finish the next page, then he will start jumping on you again.
Step 6: Give the puppy the next page.
Step 7: Repeat Steps 5 and 6 until your magazine is strewn about the living room. I hope you didn't want to re-read any of those articles...
The Teacher Who Cried "Senator"
Sometimes I spice things up for the sake of education. I admit it. If you've read my previous posts, you know that I bought a horned melon from Meijer and pretended that it was a Martian artifact for my science fiction unit. You would also know that we had a guest speaker, "Adventure Man Dan" come in, and that was really just my dad. The thing is, though, that I ALWAYS told the students the truth by the end of the lesson. ALWAYS. But I guess I might have gone a little too far. In one of our social studies units, I had students write to senators and representatives to give their opinion on a political issue. This is the e-mail I got from one of my students today:
Mrs. Webb,
I was just wondering if that United States Senate was real, i mean those letters we got from people like Carl Levin.....i mean the random fruit wasn't real, adventure man dan was just ur dad. I wanna frame the paper but i wanna know if it's real, but if its not im framing it anyway so people think its real.
Just wondering,
Jill
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry, Jill, for making you doubt the United States Senate. I'm honored that you think I'm a dedicated enough teacher to write individual letters to all of my 100 students and then mail them in such a way that it looks as if they came from Washington D.C. I don't even know how to do that if I wanted to.
I told her to go ahead and frame the response that she got from Carl Levin, since I promise I didn't write it. I think it's funny that she's framing a letter from a senator, but hey - I probably would have done the same thing in sixth grade.
Note to self: STOP PLAYING TRICKS ON STUDENTS.
Mrs. Webb,
I was just wondering if that United States Senate was real, i mean those letters we got from people like Carl Levin.....i mean the random fruit wasn't real, adventure man dan was just ur dad. I wanna frame the paper but i wanna know if it's real, but if its not im framing it anyway so people think its real.
Just wondering,
Jill
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry, Jill, for making you doubt the United States Senate. I'm honored that you think I'm a dedicated enough teacher to write individual letters to all of my 100 students and then mail them in such a way that it looks as if they came from Washington D.C. I don't even know how to do that if I wanted to.
I told her to go ahead and frame the response that she got from Carl Levin, since I promise I didn't write it. I think it's funny that she's framing a letter from a senator, but hey - I probably would have done the same thing in sixth grade.
Note to self: STOP PLAYING TRICKS ON STUDENTS.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Debit Card
Rex and I went to the bank to open up a new checking account. We were banking with Flagstar in Michigan, but apparently Flagstar does not exist west of the Mississippi. Therefore we had to open a NEW account, and we chose to open it with Bank of America.
We went to the bank at 4:30 (the bank closes at 6). We just wanted to open a checking account, which should have been very simple since Rex already has a savings account at Bank of America from when he was in high school. We were told that opening a checking account to go with an existing savings account should take, "Oh, about five minutes."
FALSE. We left the bank at 6:38. It took TWO HOURS to open that darn checking account!
I think the real problem was the banking guy. I don't remember his name, so we'll just call him Ricardo. Ricardo got us out of the waiting room and greeted us with a friendly "Hello! My name is Ricardo! I will be helping you bank today! This is my manager Kiki, and she will be sitting in with us if that's okay." We said that it was okay - I mean, who's going to say, "AHHHHH!!! NO! I HATE MANAGERS!!" ???
So we went into the little banking room, and Kiki sat in a corner taking notes on everything Ricardo did. I think she was making him nervous, and I didn't blame him. She was making ME nervous! I was afraid I was going to answer some question wrong and bet thrown out of the bank.
He certainly had a lot of questions. He had to do an "intake survey" to determine our banking needs. I felt like saying, "Ricardo, buddy, our 'banking need' is a checking account. We already told you that. We just want a checking account." He was asking us weird stuff, though, such as "What are your savings goals?" (Ummm...save as much money as possible?) or "How often do you use an ATM?" Ricardo, what difference does that make??
Once he finished our intake survey, he talked us through a booklet containing ALL of the savings and checking accounts we could open along with all of the credit cards we could start. Kiki sat taking copious notes on his presentation. When he was finished, we (surprise!) still wanted to open the least complicated checking account. But THANK YOU, Ricardo, for taking an hour to tell us what we already know. He said, "But if you get the CREDIT CARD, you could go buy a new TV!" We already HAVE a TV, Ricardo, and we don't even watch it! But I guess he was showing off for Kiki.
Kiki must have been satisfied with her notes, because she finally left. Ricardo visibly relaxed, and I thought, "Finally! We're going to get something done." NOT SO FAST, CHRISTINE'S MIND! Ricardo was SO relaxed that he forgot about banking altogether. "So...have you guys eaten at that new Chinese restaurant?" (we haven't). "Oh, it's so cool! The chef guy looks like he's wearing pajamas but really he's just wearing traditional Chinese clothes! It's NUTS!" Really, Ricardo? That's fascinating. He then went on to tell us about a new breakfast location, a new burger joint, and a fancy Mexican restaurant. He chuckled nervously, "Can you guys tell that I am hungry?" I felt like telling Ricardo that if he was so hungry, maybe he could help us open our checking account so we could get out of there. Apparently not. He grabbed a pile of restaurant reviews out of his cabinet and said, "I was just reading these before you guys got here! They're so exciting!" You know what else is exciting, Ricardo? A checking account. I was starting to understand why Kiki was reviewing him.
When we finally redirected Ricardo back to the task at hand, he pushed a catalog toward us and told us to pick out a design for the top of our new debit card. There were PAGES and PAGES of designs - how were we supposed to just pick one?! I tried telling Rex that I would accept any of the puppy/kitten designs, but he said no way. I offered to choose one of the tropical island ones, and he said, "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" I'm not sure why a tropical island was such an INSANE choice, but apparently it was. Whatever happened to generic, normal banky-looking debit cards? Was this some sort of marriage test to see if we could agree on a design? Trying to avoid any friction in front of our hungry friend Ricardo, I said to Rex, "Okay. You pick five, and I'll choose one of those five." I should have known better. Rex chose a hunted duck, a scary wolf, Detroit Tigers, Chicago Cubs, and a generic baseball design. I complained, and he decided to include a mountain design in the options. Mountains are cool! I said we could agree on that one.
Relieved to have made a decision, I was about to announce our choice to Ricardo when I noticed that on one of the pages, whatever design you chose would donate a percentage of whatever you spend to a certain charity. I immediately told Rex that we had to make a new choice because, "If you have a chance to support a charity for free and then you don't, you are pretty much a HORRIBLE PERSON." He started laughing, but I wasn't really joking. Noticing that his scary wolf was on that page (donating money to some wildlife defense fund), I said that we could choose that one. Rex responded with, "I thought you said that the wolf was scary...?"
I think Ricardo was getting annoyed with how long we were taking. GO READ MORE RESTAURANT REVIEWS, RICARDO! THIS IS A BIG DECISION!
I responded to Rex with, "Yes, I think that wolf is scary. The man who took that picture probably didn't live to see it become a debit card. BUT, maybe this is a good thing. See, when I'm shopping, I will have to think: 'How much do I want these shoes? Enough to look at the WOLF?!?! AHHHHH! NO!!!' and then I won't spend money! So a wolf card is really like a savings plan!" Rex and Ricardo both laughed. Once again, I wasn't entirely joking.
Apparently my "savings plan" was a good idea, though, because after two painful hours in the bank, I now have a shiny new wolf card to guard my money and make sure I don't spend too much. I guess we won't be able to go eat at the fancy restaurants Ricardo was telling us about since I refuse to look at the wolf, but oh well. Ramen noodles have always served me just fine.
We went to the bank at 4:30 (the bank closes at 6). We just wanted to open a checking account, which should have been very simple since Rex already has a savings account at Bank of America from when he was in high school. We were told that opening a checking account to go with an existing savings account should take, "Oh, about five minutes."
FALSE. We left the bank at 6:38. It took TWO HOURS to open that darn checking account!
I think the real problem was the banking guy. I don't remember his name, so we'll just call him Ricardo. Ricardo got us out of the waiting room and greeted us with a friendly "Hello! My name is Ricardo! I will be helping you bank today! This is my manager Kiki, and she will be sitting in with us if that's okay." We said that it was okay - I mean, who's going to say, "AHHHHH!!! NO! I HATE MANAGERS!!" ???
So we went into the little banking room, and Kiki sat in a corner taking notes on everything Ricardo did. I think she was making him nervous, and I didn't blame him. She was making ME nervous! I was afraid I was going to answer some question wrong and bet thrown out of the bank.
He certainly had a lot of questions. He had to do an "intake survey" to determine our banking needs. I felt like saying, "Ricardo, buddy, our 'banking need' is a checking account. We already told you that. We just want a checking account." He was asking us weird stuff, though, such as "What are your savings goals?" (Ummm...save as much money as possible?) or "How often do you use an ATM?" Ricardo, what difference does that make??
Once he finished our intake survey, he talked us through a booklet containing ALL of the savings and checking accounts we could open along with all of the credit cards we could start. Kiki sat taking copious notes on his presentation. When he was finished, we (surprise!) still wanted to open the least complicated checking account. But THANK YOU, Ricardo, for taking an hour to tell us what we already know. He said, "But if you get the CREDIT CARD, you could go buy a new TV!" We already HAVE a TV, Ricardo, and we don't even watch it! But I guess he was showing off for Kiki.
Kiki must have been satisfied with her notes, because she finally left. Ricardo visibly relaxed, and I thought, "Finally! We're going to get something done." NOT SO FAST, CHRISTINE'S MIND! Ricardo was SO relaxed that he forgot about banking altogether. "So...have you guys eaten at that new Chinese restaurant?" (we haven't). "Oh, it's so cool! The chef guy looks like he's wearing pajamas but really he's just wearing traditional Chinese clothes! It's NUTS!" Really, Ricardo? That's fascinating. He then went on to tell us about a new breakfast location, a new burger joint, and a fancy Mexican restaurant. He chuckled nervously, "Can you guys tell that I am hungry?" I felt like telling Ricardo that if he was so hungry, maybe he could help us open our checking account so we could get out of there. Apparently not. He grabbed a pile of restaurant reviews out of his cabinet and said, "I was just reading these before you guys got here! They're so exciting!" You know what else is exciting, Ricardo? A checking account. I was starting to understand why Kiki was reviewing him.
When we finally redirected Ricardo back to the task at hand, he pushed a catalog toward us and told us to pick out a design for the top of our new debit card. There were PAGES and PAGES of designs - how were we supposed to just pick one?! I tried telling Rex that I would accept any of the puppy/kitten designs, but he said no way. I offered to choose one of the tropical island ones, and he said, "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" I'm not sure why a tropical island was such an INSANE choice, but apparently it was. Whatever happened to generic, normal banky-looking debit cards? Was this some sort of marriage test to see if we could agree on a design? Trying to avoid any friction in front of our hungry friend Ricardo, I said to Rex, "Okay. You pick five, and I'll choose one of those five." I should have known better. Rex chose a hunted duck, a scary wolf, Detroit Tigers, Chicago Cubs, and a generic baseball design. I complained, and he decided to include a mountain design in the options. Mountains are cool! I said we could agree on that one.
Relieved to have made a decision, I was about to announce our choice to Ricardo when I noticed that on one of the pages, whatever design you chose would donate a percentage of whatever you spend to a certain charity. I immediately told Rex that we had to make a new choice because, "If you have a chance to support a charity for free and then you don't, you are pretty much a HORRIBLE PERSON." He started laughing, but I wasn't really joking. Noticing that his scary wolf was on that page (donating money to some wildlife defense fund), I said that we could choose that one. Rex responded with, "I thought you said that the wolf was scary...?"
I think Ricardo was getting annoyed with how long we were taking. GO READ MORE RESTAURANT REVIEWS, RICARDO! THIS IS A BIG DECISION!
I responded to Rex with, "Yes, I think that wolf is scary. The man who took that picture probably didn't live to see it become a debit card. BUT, maybe this is a good thing. See, when I'm shopping, I will have to think: 'How much do I want these shoes? Enough to look at the WOLF?!?! AHHHHH! NO!!!' and then I won't spend money! So a wolf card is really like a savings plan!" Rex and Ricardo both laughed. Once again, I wasn't entirely joking.
Apparently my "savings plan" was a good idea, though, because after two painful hours in the bank, I now have a shiny new wolf card to guard my money and make sure I don't spend too much. I guess we won't be able to go eat at the fancy restaurants Ricardo was telling us about since I refuse to look at the wolf, but oh well. Ramen noodles have always served me just fine.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
The Teacher Store
Today I experienced something WONDERFUL and AMAZING and BREATHTAKING - the Las Vegas teacher store.
I have only ever been to Kalamazoo's "Teacher Center," so I really haven't been exposed to the WONDERS of a bigger city's teacher supply store. We were driving by on our way to the bank, and I begged Rex to let us stop and check it out for a minute. JUST ONE MINUTE, PLEEEEEEEEASE??? (We didn't make it to the bank before it closed. Oops.).
When we walked in the door I literally gasped - what a wonderland of teacher goodness! It was like my wildest dreams! Everything I could possibly need for my new job - all in ONE STORE! I inhaled the scent of fresh sharpened pencils and took in the views of glorious "Clearance" signs posted all around the store.
My reverie of delight was broken by Rex commenting next to me, "I think I am going to puke." WHAT?! I turned in shocked indignation. "What is your PROBLEM?! This store is FABULOUS!" He replied with, "Fine. We'll check it out. But you're taking me to Bass Pro Shops later." Deal.
I started walking around the store as if I was walking in a dream. A really, really good teacher dream. The shiny new books, timers shaped like apples, sparkly bulletin board borders, neon pointers, and even SMARTBOARDS were all so lovely I felt like tearing up. It was all so....beautiful. Walking around in my dream-like state, I didn't even notice Rex was missing until he came up behind me and said, "WHAT are we listening to?!" I tore my attention away from the glorious sights and turned my ear to the radio. With some careful analysis, we concluded that we were listening to "Rubber Ducky, You're the One" in Spanish. How he could still hate this store, I have no idea. He said, "Okay, this place brings back terrible memories of 'back to school' sales in the middle of July where I would get really mad at stores for trying to prematurely end my summer. We've got to get out of here." I whirled on him and, admittedly a bit forcefully, exclaimed, "Are you KIDDING?! We've only been here for, like, three minutes! This place is AWESOME!" Some other women (teachers?) in the aisle started laughing at me. Whoops. Luckily, Rex laughed too and went to go see if he could find anything worthwhile in this store of his nightmares.
After lovingly stroking a beautiful bulletin board set on literary genres (I don't have any money to spend on supplies - YET), I regretted leaving it behind and turned to see a very jubilant Rex. He held up his new prize and announced, "Check it out! An ANT FARM!! And if you send in the attached coupon, they send you FREE ANTS! And it's only $14.99!" I almost wanted to get it for him just so that he wouldn't hate the store so much, but then I re-thought my strategy and decided that if I DON'T buy the ant farm but then decide later that we should get it, then we will have to go to that store AGAIN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!
So Rex and I danced joyfully down the next aisle to the theme from "Elmo's World" on Sesame Street (this time the song was in English). I was truly blissful. "Rex, do you SEE all of these opportunities?! There's stuff here I never even imagined!" Rex sighed. "What I see here is us becoming very, very poor."
Crap, he's probably right. Maybe I should restrain myself. If I ever walk into that store with money I think I would be in BIG trouble. But it was wonderful. I think I will definitely have to go back. I mean, I have to be a good wife, right? If my husband wants an ant farm...going back is really the only answer. It's all about him, really.
I have only ever been to Kalamazoo's "Teacher Center," so I really haven't been exposed to the WONDERS of a bigger city's teacher supply store. We were driving by on our way to the bank, and I begged Rex to let us stop and check it out for a minute. JUST ONE MINUTE, PLEEEEEEEEASE??? (We didn't make it to the bank before it closed. Oops.).
When we walked in the door I literally gasped - what a wonderland of teacher goodness! It was like my wildest dreams! Everything I could possibly need for my new job - all in ONE STORE! I inhaled the scent of fresh sharpened pencils and took in the views of glorious "Clearance" signs posted all around the store.
My reverie of delight was broken by Rex commenting next to me, "I think I am going to puke." WHAT?! I turned in shocked indignation. "What is your PROBLEM?! This store is FABULOUS!" He replied with, "Fine. We'll check it out. But you're taking me to Bass Pro Shops later." Deal.
I started walking around the store as if I was walking in a dream. A really, really good teacher dream. The shiny new books, timers shaped like apples, sparkly bulletin board borders, neon pointers, and even SMARTBOARDS were all so lovely I felt like tearing up. It was all so....beautiful. Walking around in my dream-like state, I didn't even notice Rex was missing until he came up behind me and said, "WHAT are we listening to?!" I tore my attention away from the glorious sights and turned my ear to the radio. With some careful analysis, we concluded that we were listening to "Rubber Ducky, You're the One" in Spanish. How he could still hate this store, I have no idea. He said, "Okay, this place brings back terrible memories of 'back to school' sales in the middle of July where I would get really mad at stores for trying to prematurely end my summer. We've got to get out of here." I whirled on him and, admittedly a bit forcefully, exclaimed, "Are you KIDDING?! We've only been here for, like, three minutes! This place is AWESOME!" Some other women (teachers?) in the aisle started laughing at me. Whoops. Luckily, Rex laughed too and went to go see if he could find anything worthwhile in this store of his nightmares.
After lovingly stroking a beautiful bulletin board set on literary genres (I don't have any money to spend on supplies - YET), I regretted leaving it behind and turned to see a very jubilant Rex. He held up his new prize and announced, "Check it out! An ANT FARM!! And if you send in the attached coupon, they send you FREE ANTS! And it's only $14.99!" I almost wanted to get it for him just so that he wouldn't hate the store so much, but then I re-thought my strategy and decided that if I DON'T buy the ant farm but then decide later that we should get it, then we will have to go to that store AGAIN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!
So Rex and I danced joyfully down the next aisle to the theme from "Elmo's World" on Sesame Street (this time the song was in English). I was truly blissful. "Rex, do you SEE all of these opportunities?! There's stuff here I never even imagined!" Rex sighed. "What I see here is us becoming very, very poor."
Crap, he's probably right. Maybe I should restrain myself. If I ever walk into that store with money I think I would be in BIG trouble. But it was wonderful. I think I will definitely have to go back. I mean, I have to be a good wife, right? If my husband wants an ant farm...going back is really the only answer. It's all about him, really.
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